


A Coward’s Soul

by pook



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: And ending for an unfinished story, Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Original Pinkie in Danger story, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-07-07 22:56:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 47,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15917967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pook/pseuds/pook
Summary: This is in response to a VAMB challenge to complete an unfinished story called ‘A Coward’s Soul’ written by D.J. O’Keeffe.





	1. ‘A Coward’s Soul’ written by D.J. O’Keeffe

**Author's Note:**

> The first chapter of this story is written by **Deb O’Keeffe**. As of December 1997 it was unfinished. 
> 
> In April 2006 there was a challenge on VAMB to finish some unfinished stories (after first trying to contact the authors). Unfortunately, there was no success in contacting Deb O'Keeffe and such was the quality of Deb's story, that I decided to put _an ending_ (sadly not the author's).
> 
> I would like to thank **D.J. O'Keeffe** wherever you are for creating a wonderful story.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the unfinished story written by Deb O'Keeffe in Dec 1997. It belongs to Deb, wherever she is.

###  **_A Coward's Soul_ **

12/97

### By D.J. O'Keeffe

_No coward soul is mine,_  
_No trembler in the world's storm-troubled sphere!_  
_I see Heaven's glories shine,_  
_And Faith shines equal, arming me from Fear_

_Emily Bronte, "No Coward Soul is Mine," 1850_

* * *

_"Thanks for calling, Kathryn." Phoebe's slender face beamed through the monitor, and Janeway smiled back at her sibling. It was hard to imagine the times when they'd detested one another. Phoebe meant so much to her, now._

_"How's Mom? I have the distinct impression she's not thrilled about my leaving so soon after her birthday." Janeway sank down onto the blue-green couch of her ready room, tossing a few datapadds onto the low table in front of her. She had a million things still to do before she left, she wanted to get a call in to Mark, and her prisoner-turned-observer, Tom Paris, was due to report in soon, but her mother's face had haunted her since she'd left Earth those five days ago._

_Phoebe Janeway rolled her blue-green eyes dramatically. "It's not the birthday. Mom's worried. She's convinced that Starfleet is sending you into the fray---"_

_"I'll be gone three weeks. Five at the most," her elder sister assured her._

_"I know. I think Mom's just being silly. But she keeps saying that this mission sounds dangerous, and that Starfleet should be giving you more than one ship."_

_Janeway smiled at the thought. "I'm going into the Badlands to look for a Maquis ship and its crew, not to chase the entire Cardassian fleet. This new ship is built to handle the kinds of things we'll run into in the Badlands. Remind Mom of that for me?"_

_"I will." Phoebe's face sobered. "Just…take care of yourself."_

_"Always, love." She touched the screen, and smiled at her younger sister. "I'm sorry to make this so short. I just wanted to say goodbye and see if Mom had settled down."_

_"Well, thanks for doing so. I know you have to get back to work." There wasn't any reproach, only warm affection. Phoebe was proud of her sister. Kathryn was like their late father, one of the best at her job. And Starfleet clearly agreed, or they wouldn't have put her in command of the newest deep-space vessel in the fleet._

_"Take care of yourself while I'm gone. And look after Mom."_

_"Of course. Now go get that guy. And bring us back some souvenirs from Bajor."_

_"As if I have time to shop," Janeway groaned, hiding a smile. She'd already bought Phoebe a beautiful, hand thrown bowl from a craftswoman on Deep Space Nine. She'd taken one look at it and immediately guessed that her artisan sister would adore it._

_On the screen, Phoebe was playfully wrinkling her nose. "I'm joking. Just bring yourself…in one piece. See you soon, Kathryn."_

_"See you soon," she repeated. "Janeway out."_

* * *

THREE AND A HALF YEARS LATER

"…Kuritan physiology is very similar to human. I think you'll be surprised at how much, Captain." Neelix beamed as the whine of the transporter got louder.

Janeway just smiled tolerantly at her Talaxian ambassador, and waited patiently for _Voyager'_ s guests to materialize. Neelix's briefing had impressed upon everyone the emphasis Kuritans placed on formalities and the observance of protocol. Consequently, Janeway and the entire senior staff were assembled in the transporter room to greet their guests.

The very fact that the Kuritans were arriving on _Voyager_ before any formal negotiations were opened was a nod to Kuritan customs; their tradition held that associations were launched when potential allies spent a night as guests of one another. "A throwback to a time when sleeping in someone else's home was an act of trust," Chakotay had suggested when Neelix expressed his wonder about the practice. Tekai would be reciprocating the following night, hosting Janeway and the senior staff in her official residence in the capital city, Mejeci.

Janeway had already agreed to partake in the tradition, despite Tuvok's initial misgivings. For the past two months, _Voyager_ had been embroiled in one long running skirmish with the Sharonk, whose space bordered Kuritan territory. Each encounter with the loosely aligned, highly aggressive race had resulted in damage to the ship, and engineering and repair crews had been hard pressed to keep up with the constant demand for their reconstructive skills. The hostilities had likewise drained material supplies and prevented away missions to planets which could have replenished food stores, and _Voyager_ was in desperate need. All this made her Captain that much more determined to do whatever it took to win the goodwill of the Kuritans.

When the blue beam of the transporter faded away, Janeway stepped forward with a smile to greet her momentous guest. "Principal Tekai. I'm Captain Kathryn Janeway. Welcome to _Voyager._ "

For once, Neelix hadn't exaggerated. The Kuritan woman stepping off the transporter pad to shake her outstretched hand was incredibly human-looking in appearance, if one disregarded the faint ridges along the flat of her nose and the barely distinguishable spot pattern along her temples and brow. She looked fifty years old, perhaps a little more, as was incredibly striking. Her black hair was pulled tightly back from a chiseled cocoa face softened by the finely etched lines around her onyx eyes and her generous mouth. The woman's mature, dignified beauty was undeniable, as was the intelligence in her dark eyes.

"Thank you, Captain Janeway. I am honored to be met by you." Tekai nodded with all the dignity of a democratically elected empress, and gave Janeway a dazzling smile before turning to raise an elegant hand towards her party.

"May I introduce my administrative aide, Mister Galan S'hyn?" Janeway nodded crisply at the pleasant looking young man, who bowed his head in response. Kuritan custom disallowed men and women to touch in public, even casually, so she didn't offer her hand to him.

"And I believe you already know my Minister of Security, Rol N'var." Janeway smiled and murmured an appropriate greeting, while the weathered security leader inclined his head stiffly. They'd met earlier, when Tuvok had brought him to her ready room before spending the day with the man confirming that ship's security was satisfactory for the Kuritan world leader's visit. N'var was generally close-mouthed and inelegant when he did speak, but Janeway had the utmost respect for the battle-scarred soldier. She didn't imagine security was much of a worry on Kurita.

"And I hope you don't mind, I've brought an additional guest along, Captain. This is Tse-dira Peido, my spouse." Principal Tekai stepped aside to usher the final member of the party forward fro the transporter pad. Janeway smiled and turned, preparing to greet the last visitor, when she froze, the welcoming words dying on her lips.

_Oh, god._

She could literally feel the blood draining from her face…the only sensation she was even peripherally aware of besides the painful thudding of her heart against her chest as she stared speechlessly at a pair of eerily familiar blue-green eyes, the soft blond hair, the slender, high cheekbones…

_Oh, god._

_PHOEBE…_

Janeway struggled to breathe through the horrific shock of seeing her sister's face on another woman. Around her, the room went silent, while the beautiful aqua eyes gazed back nervously, and then finally glanced sideways.

"Bra-zei?" The word was a young, awkward whisper.

_Get a hold of yourself_ , Janeway screamed silently. Shunting aside the stabbing pain, her years of Starfleet training kicked in and took over. The cordial smile came back to her white lips. Her faintly trembling hand went out again.

"Hello, Ms. Peido. What an unexpected pleasure. Welcome to _Voyager_."

Astounding. Her voice sounded normal.

Hesitantly, the young woman offered her hand as well, and there was a subdued sigh as the inhabitants of the room let out a collective breath when Janeway shook it. The Kuritans all looked relieved that the addition to their party had indeed proved acceptable, while _Voyager_ 's crew shrugged off the strange moment Janeway's bizarre hesitation had caused. All except Chakotay, who continued to study his Captain.

Janeway was marginally aware of this scrutiny, but she ignored it, instead focusing intently on the task of presenting her assembled officers, naming each of them for the Kuritan guests. When that formality was done, Tse-dira smiled brightly and asked about the ship itself.

"I've heard you've been traveling for over three years now, trying to get home. It must be an incredible ship to have carried you so far, already."

Janeway avoided looking at the girl, and smiled at Tekai. "Perhaps everyone would car for a tour, before you're shown to the quarters we've reserved for you?"

"Oh, Bra-zei!"

Tekai glanced affectionately at her bright young spouse, and then smiled back at the Captain. "Ah, it would be best if we could simply acquaint ourselves with our guest quarters for now." Her voice was firm, but warm.

"Of course," the Captain replied. "Please take all the time you need, the tour can wait until you're ready. Commander Chakotay will escort you to your quarters."

Chakotay and Neelix exchanged curious glances at that, before Chakotay smoothly stepped forward, gesturing towards the door. "Principal, if you and your party would care to come this way…"

Moments later, her guests gone, Janeway likewise exited the transporter room. She carefully avoided both Neelix – who looked ready to fuss about how she'd thrown their carefully planned arrangements out the nearest airlock by abruptly re-assigning the Kuritans to Chakotay – and Tuvok, who knew her too well and for whom she didn't have any diverting chore. Marching through the ship's corridors, face dead calm, blue eyes trained intently on the carpet dead ahead, she arrived at her quarters in record time. Once beyond her doors, she moved past the living area, continuing through the bedroom into the bathroom…where she threw up violently into the sink.

It took her almost two hours to stop shaking.

Dinner that evening with her Kuritan guests was unmitigated torture. Tse-dira was as informal and jovial as N'var was stiff and serious, and she was the consistent focus of the table, chatting away rightly, winning over most of _Voyager_ 's crew with her enthusiasm about their ship before the first course was through. Janeway could eat nothing. She spent the meal artfully rearranging the food on her plate and battling desperately to find a balance between the requirement for polite conversation and her need to avoid even looking in Tse-dira's direction – a task made more difficult by the girl's repeated attempts to draw her into dialogue after dialogue. Finally, after she'd blanched when Tse-dira sweetly inquired if Janeway had a family back on Earth, Chakotay came to her rescue, drawing Tse-dira's attention away from his Captain with a comment about the ship's holodeck and Harry's recent work on the facility. Once Harry was blushingly explaining the range of programs available to an enraptured Tse-dira, Chakotay leaned close to Janeway and spoke in low tones that didn't carry beyond them.

"Are you all right?"

"Yes." She raised her wineglass. Neither of them missed the tremor in her hand.

"You don't seem it," he hedged, unsure how to proceed. He'd never see her like this.

"Thank you, but I'm fine, Commander," she told him. Woodenly. Automatically. She sipped her wine again and continued to avoid his eyes.

Chakotay sighed worriedly, and straightened in his chair. He didn't try drawing her out. That would bring everyone's attention down on her, and it was clear Janeway wanted nothing more than to get through this dinner with as little participation on her part as possible. So he swallowed his concern and did what he could, running interference whenever Tse-dira's gaze fell on the pallid woman seated at the head of the table. Through the course of the evening, he offered more information on ship specs and his own personal life than he'd had cause to since the grueling entrance interview for Starfleet Academy—earning several strange looks fro B'Elanna for his openness in the process---but he expertly buffered Janeway from Tse-dira's voracious interest for the remainder of the drawn out meal.

At one point, he glanced up in time to catch the Captain's eye, and when their gazes locked for a moment, Janeway sent him a gratitude-filled look from behind her wineglass. Chakotay gave her a small smile, before turning to respond to Tse-dira's third question about his people's religious beliefs in as many minutes. Neither of them noticed Tom Paris's interested observation of them, or the pilot's slow grin.

The next morning, Chakotay arrived on the bridge early and headed straight for the Captain's ready room. He pressed the small button on the keypad to announce his presence outside her door, and a moment later, the Captain called for him to enter. He stepped through the doorway and halted.

A pale, exhausted Janeway was seated at her desk, typing something into a datapadd that lay in front of her, but she didn't look up at him. That would have required her to lift her chin off her supporting hand and straighten up in her chair…and it didn't appear that she had enough strength to perform such a monumental task. Chakotay was suddenly struck by how small and slender a woman she actually was. He was easily twice her size, but on the bridge, she always seemed seven feet tall.

"Rough night?" he asked.

She raised her eyes. But only her eyes. "Something like that, Commander."

He sighed under his breath and left the doorway in favor of his usual chair in front of her desk. Did you get any sleep at all, Kathryn?" he asked, eyeing her drawn features as he sat down. His concerned tone and use of her first name wrung a small smile from her.

"I'm fine, Chakotay. Neelix made me some extra strong coffee this morning."

Chakotoay nodded, then gazed thoughtfully back at her, carefully considering his next words. "Do you have any problems with the Principal that I should know about, Captain?" he finally asked, very seriously, and she frowned.

"No, of course not. Why do you ask?"

"You seemed uncomfortable…or something, when she and her life-partner beamed aboard. And you were pre-occupied last night, at dinner." It was an exceptionally kind description of her behavior.

Janeway narrowed her eyes at him, and for a moment, Chakotay thought she was going to tell him to mind his own business. Instead, she sighed remorsefully, and sat back in her chair, pushing the datapadd away. "I know I was." She closed her eyes briefly. "I…" She winced and trailed off, shaking her head, turning her gaze towards the observation window of her ready room. Chakotay studied her.

"It's Tse-dira who troubles you," he ventured after a moment.

"No. She doesn't _bother_ me, Chakotay…" She fell silent again, and he felt his frustration bump up a notch.

"Then what is it?"

Janeway suddenly raised her hands to scrub vigorously at her face, trying to hide the embarrassed flush that rose to her cheeks. She knew that the Kuritans could have interpreted her behavior at the dinner last night as unspeakably rude, just as she knew that Chakotay's deliberately charming presence had saved the occasion from being a total disaster. She'd left the dining room for the bridge at the first opportunity, flinging herself at a pile of reports and monthly department activity summaries, staying in her ready room until nearly two a.m., ship's time. And yet, when she'd finally left the bridge and crawled bleary-eyed into bed, she'd been unable to sleep. In spite of all her efforts to the contrary, her exhausted mind had focused on one thing. Phoebe.

Her life in the Delta Quadrant didn't normally allow her time to dwell on what and whom she'd personally cut herself off from that horrible day she'd destroyed the Caretaker's Array, to save Kes' people from the predacious Kazon. In the beginning, there'd been too many other things to worry about, and later, as the crew had almost seamlessly merged and life had settled down – as much as it could, for a lonely ship trying to find its way home across sixty thousand light years of uncharted space—she'd had an entire clan to occupy her few spare thoughts. There was the crew as a whole, as well as Tuvok, Chakotay, Tom, B'Elanna, Harry. The Doctor. Neelix. There'd been Kes, until she'd been forced _by_ the circumstances of her strange evolution to leave the ship…and now there was the former Borg, Seven of Nine, the most recent addition to _Voyager_ 's family, a challenge unto herself as she struggled to adjust to living in a predominantly human community. There were so many individuals and personalities to people her life, and yet, Tse-dira's unexpected presence had forced home a reality that Janeway had avoided and pushed aside for more than three years.

She missed Phoebe. She missed her sister, her own family horribly, as much as any other person on the ship. And perhaps, because of her lonely position, Janeway suffered from that loss more forcefully than most. She was the Captain. She couldn't form friendships with just anyone, lest it skew her judgement and weaken her position with the crew, and even with the most senior staff and Chakotay, her First Officer, there was a line she couldn't cross. She was human, not Vulcan, but there wasn't anyone for her to turn to when she was angry or wanted to cry, throw things, yell in frustration. Quite simply, there wasn't anyone she _could_ do that with. And never would be, until she was home again.

"Captain?" Chakotay's deep baritone voice saved her from the downward spiral of her thoughts.

She raised her head.

"I think I need to know what's going on, don't you?"

For a long time, she didn't answer, then she nodded, more to herself than Chakotay. Her First Officer deserved to know why his Captain almost caused a diplomatic incident in the transporter room and again at dinner. She pushed herself away from the desk and silently made her way across the room to a drawer unit by the blue-green couch that dominated the upper half of her small office. Chakotay watched her wordlessly, then rose from his chair and followed her, his steps silent on the carpet. He seemed to sense she was on the brink of explaining things, and waited patiently, taking his cues from her.

Opening the top drawer, she extracted a small, old fashioned picture frame, and hesitated, glancing at the portrait it contained – Chakotay watched her stroke the protective clear front – then she blindly handed it to him. He took it with a frown, and glanced at the small frame and the picture of the woman held inside.

When he looked up again a long minute later, his strong face was awash with comprehension…and compassion.

"Who is this?"

"My younger sister, Phoebe. Her name is Phoebe," she said quietly, the morose statement tearing at Chakotay.

"She looks like Tse-dira." Terrifying so. Now he wondered how Janeway managed to remain upright yesterday in the transporter room. The sight of Tse-dira must have been like a knife.

"Or Tse-dira looks like her." Janeway 's tired blue eyes shut.

"Kathryn. Oh, god." He could only imagine how much it hurt. She'd rarely spoken about the family she'd left behind on Earth, preferring to focus on the here-and-now, but he'd caught glimpses of her loneliness now and again. "What can I do?"

Her spine stiffened at the obvious sympathy in his voice. She reached out and retrieved the picture from his hand, returning it to the drawer and shutting it away with a resolute thud. "Nothing, commander. I'll be fine. I just wanted to give you an explanation for yesterday, and showing you Phoebe's picture…seemed the most expedient…"

"Kathryn."

She winced at the gentleness of his voice and turned on her heel, blinking at the burning behind her eyes. "Let's get started on those supply lists---"

His large hand suddenly descended on her arm, and before Janeway could squeak a surprised protest, she found herself turned around and wrapped in Chakotay's arms, tucked against the solidity of his shoulder, his strong hand gentle and heavy on the back of her neck, his warm, large body such a shock, such a refuge she couldn't object. She bit her lip trying to hold back the wetness of the threatening tears, thinking about how mortally embarrassed she would be if Tuvok or another staff member walked in right now to find her crying in Chakotay's embrace. But the rare measure of comfort and safety she felt right now was also bringing the tears to surface.

The room and the edge of Chakotay's sleeve blurred before her.

And the first tear slipped out.

He sensed it immediately, and shifted his arms to hold her even tighter to him. Her body shook with her struggle to contain herself, and he pressed a cheek against her hair, hearing himself ask, "Do you want Tuvok?"

She shook her head violently against him in horror, and he quickly murmured something soothing. He'd only thought to ask because Tuvok was her oldest friend on the ship.

"Come on, Kathryn, let's sit on the couch," he urged, wanting to keep her in his arms, wipe away her tears.

"No," she gasped, "I'm all right…"

"I want to help."

"You…can't," she said in a hiccupy breath.

He adjusted her in his arms so that he could see her face, so she could see his. "I can try." His voice promised he'd fight dragons for her.

She shook her head again, and stepped forcefully back against his embrace. He let go, reluctantly, and she brushed stiffly at her eyes, wiping away the moisture that had escaped. "I'm fine." She took a deep breath. "Thank you. My apologies for the display, Commander. We'd better get to work."

She missed her true calling, Chakotay thought grimly as he watched her sweep any remaining traces of her brief tears away and settle her features into a calm mask. Her transformation from heart-broken woman to composed Starfleet Captain was amazing. She would have made the brightest actress on any stage in the galaxy.

He sighed and held her glance for a moment. "If you're sure you're all right…Captain."

Her title was a reluctant addition, an unwilling return to their formal relationship.

She nodded. "I am. Thank you. And thank you for your concern about last night," she said quietly. Captain and First Officer looked painfully at each other across the intractable distance that always separated them. Chakotay smiled strangely.

"It comes with the territory."

"…and the Captain didn't respond for a whole _minute_. It was like she was a zombie." Nzedini reported to the group assembled around the small table. A notorious gossip, he was filling his shipmates' ears with the latest on their noticeably despondent Captain, and quite enjoying everyone's avid attention. "And then, when Lieutenant Torres asked if she was – "

"Quiet!" Crewman Graf suddenly hissed when the dining room doors opened to admit a tall red and black figure.

As _Voyager_ 's second in command entered the brightly lit mess hall, the buzz of conversation dimmed noticeably as more than half the people in the dining room bent their heads to their nondescript breakfasts. Chakotay stifled a disapproving sigh. They could have spared themselves the trouble. He already knew without a doubt what – or rather, who – was the conversational topic of choice. Turning his back on the room, he collected his own morning meal from Neelix, looking up in surprise when the Talaxian asked if he could join the Commander for breakfast.

"Of course, Neelix."

"Thank you," Neelix's broad little face split into a wide grin as he came through the doorway that led into the galley. "It's nice to take a break and eat one's meal with a shipmate. I don't always have the chance. Cook, morale officer, ambassador…" he listed grandly as they sat down at a table. "Duty sometimes gets in the way, if you know what I mean, Commander."

"I think I do." Despite himself, Chakotay smiled back. He couldn't count the number of meals he'd missed because something had happened on the bridge, in Engineering, Stellar Cartography, the new astrometrics lab…

Neelix nodded in his cheerful little way, and then abruptly sobered and got straight to the point. "Commander, I'd actually like to have a word with you…morale officer to officer, so to speak." He tugged his facial whiskers while he spoke. "It's, ah, about Captain Janeway."

Chakotay looked up from his breakfast grimly. "Let me guess. Everyone's talking about the Captain." She'd been noticeably absent from the bridge over the past two days, and was quiet and withdrawn when she was around others, despite her efforts to conduct herself normally. He'd made several more attempts to talk to her about Tse-dira, her sister, and how she was – or wasn't – coping with the situation, but the Captain had violently rebuffed him each time. It was as though she was embarrassed or afraid of another episode like the first.

"You have it, Commander. By any chance, has the Captain talked to you…about what's bothering her?"

Chakotay raised his eyebrows at the bold question. "Whether she has or not, Neelix, that's not something I'd discuss with anyone," he quietly admonished the little alien.

"No, of course not!" Neelix sputtered. "I didn't mean to imply…you wouldn't ever…it's just there's been quite a bit of talk, you see, Commander, and the change in her is _so_ marked, and well…I,I…I was worried…about her," he finally finished lamely, and Chakotay hid a wince.

Over the past several years, Neelix had become a valuable member of the crew, and the Captain treated the Talaxian with open fondness, showing an almost infinite tolerance for the eager little alien. Neelix rewarded that affection and forbearance by demonstrating a devotion to Janeway that would have put a Bajoran monk and his Prophets to shame. Chakotay shook his head in chagrin. He should have understood that Neelix's inquiry was motivated by honest concern, not prying. He apologized to Neelix, who shrugged graciously.

"I understand, Commander. There are things that go on between a Captain and her First Officer that are no one else's business but their own."

Chakotay almost choked on a bite of his breakfast – but decided to take _that_ comment on face value.

"I suppose they are," he managed after swallowing his mouthful of food, and cocked his head thoughtfully. "The situation's under control, Neelix," he finally said, hoping it didn't sound too much like a lie. "As morale officer, maybe you should simply concentrate on reminding people nothing good comes from gossip."

"I've already been doing that, Commander," Neelix assured him.

"Good – "

"But they keep talking."

Chakotay took a moment to glance around at the morning crowd in the mess hall. "Thanks for information. I'll see what I can do."

"Yes, sir." Neelix replied, relieved, springing to his feet and waving at a crewmember waiting patiently at the counter. "I hope the Captain will be back to her old self soon."

"I'm sure everything will be back to normal in a few days."

"Very good, Commander." Neelix smiled, hurrying away, and Chakotay sighed and watched him go.

Despite his brave words, Chakotay wasn't certain when Kathryn would be able to win out over her clearly worsening depression. After their initial conversation and her tears in her ready room, Janeway had seemed determined to bury all her emotions under a staggering load of work, but unfortunately, unless one was a Vulcan, emotions had a way of making themselves felt. And Janeway's harsh repression of hers just made things worse when her feelings inevitably escaped. Only last night, Tom Paris had gone looking for her to get approval of his con report and found her sitting alone in a lowly lit mess hall, staring blankly out the window with stray tears running down her face, a cup of coffee cold on the table in front of her. Despite his mortified Captain's naked threats, the fast-talking pilot had risked a week in the brig and summoned Chakotay, who'd arrived in the mess hall in less than thirty seconds to escort her to her quarters, ordering her to get some sleep. Paris had kept his cool in the situation, but if any other crewmember had seen her like that…

Shaking his head in frustration, remembering his fresh promise to Neelix, Chakotay decided to concentrate once again on the avenues of effective action that were open to him. Pushing aside the rest of his uninteresting meal, he rose and made his way purposefully through the growing crowd to the other side of the lounge, halting beside a table of four and glancing down from his considerable height at one of the occupants, the infamously talkative Nzedini. He might as well begin curbing the gossip by publicly dealing with one of the fountainheads.

"Ensign Nzedini." Chakotay allowed a degree of the frustration he was feeling creep into his voice, and Nzedini's companions around the table went very still as an abrupt silence fell over the entire mess hall. As for Nzedini, the Bolian's blue face went a little pale.

"Yes, sir?" he managed a moment later.

"Ensign, I'd like to see you in my office at 08:00. Apparently, you've had a great deal to say about what goes on around here." Chakotay paused, for effect. "I'd like to hear more, myself."

Nzedini looked positively ill at the thought.

"08:00, Ensign. Don't be late."

"No, sir," the Bolian squeaked. Chakotay nodded and stalked out of the mess hall, leaving Nzedini to slump wretchedly in his chair.

"He's going to be cleaning warp plasma filters for the next two months," a crewman two tables away whispered, full of pity.

"At least. He may even get three," the man's friend whispered back with somewhat less charity. Nzedini had been openly gossiping about the Captain for almost two days, now. He should have known he wouldn't get away with it for much longer. Not with Chakotay around, at any rate.

As it turned out, the unfortunate Nzedini, newly assigned to a three month tour of duty as plasma filter maintenance specialist, was the only person Chakotay needed to or had time to discipline for gossiping. The formal opening of negotiations with the Kuritans signaled the start of several long, demanding rounds of discussions and meetings, and by the end of the third day, Chakotay felt like he was going to fall asleep on his feet. It seemed like there were never enough hours to complete all the tasks that rose out of the conferences, and he and Janeway managed to meet only once or twice a day, usually over a hurried meal, discussing supply lists and how the negotiations were unfurling while they ate. Or to be precise, while he ate and watched her push food around her plate. He tried to use some of their brief moments alone together to broach the topic of Tse-dira and her sister again, but she always cut him off.

"I'm fine, now, Commander," she'd declare, her look impenetrable as a brick wall, and every time, he'd sigh and retreat to the datapadds in front of him.

Sometimes, Chakotay attended satellite meetings, but Janeway often asked him to oversee the delivery of purchased supplies to a depot Principal Tekai had arranged to be made available for them. It was either the Captain's tactful way of sparing him from the grueling rounds she herself was being subjected to…or she was deliberately avoiding him. Which, he wasn't sure. He saw her planetside sometimes, between meetings, but she was always sorely tired and distracted during these short breaks. Seeing this, he refrained from bringing up anything that would upset her, even as he watched her look almost hungrily at Tse-dira on the occasions when the young woman turned up to visit her partner during a Council recess.

But while Chakotay was hesitant to confront Janeway, Bra-zei Tekai was not. The Kuritan leader had noted the other woman's observations of Tse-dira, and while she was sure that Janeway's interest in her spouse wasn't sexual – Neelix had explained that while some people on _Voyager_ had same-sex partners, the Captain wasn't one of them – Tekai was growing disturbed at the strange, almost pained look that appeared on Janeway's face each time Tse-dira came into sight. She finally took advantage of a short break to draw the Captain aside for a personal conversation, inviting her guest to join her in the tiny garden off the Council meeting room. Soon, they were seated on the stone bench artfully built around a raised pool, its crystal clear waters teeming with bright red fish.

"How are you enjoying Kuritan Council meetings, Captain?" Tekai asked, and Janeway smiled politely.

"It's hard to say…" she hedged.

Tekai shook her head with a grin. "Your stamina is impressive."

"Thank you. I've had a lot of practice."

"On other planets you've visited?"

"Actually, I was thinking more of my third year archaeology instructor at the Academy, Professor Miemad. Her lectures were feats of endurance."

Tekai chuckled. "Well, things won't go on like this for much longer. An annual holiday is coming up, and many of the ministers will want to shorten the Council meetings, so they can spend time with their families, preparing."

"What holiday is it?"

" _Alne_. The Feast of the Tree Goddesses. Most of Kurita observes it. Tse-dira has invited a good portion of her family to come stay at the Residence," Tekai rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "And we'll be having a party, in two days time, to celebrate."

At the mention of Tse-dira and family in the same sentence, a flicker of emotion went across Janeway's face, and Tekai, paused, alerted. "What is it, Captain?"

Janeway slammed her emotions down. "It's nothing." She smiled back gamely. "I think I'm tired. The heat on Kurita takes some getting used to." It was the Kuritan spring, the weather was humid, almost tropical, and Tekai's people didn't emply weather grids.

"You're sure? I've come to the conclusion it's something more than the heat." There wasn't a hint of censure in the older woman's voice, but Janeway looked up in alarm.

"Principal…"

Tekai abruptly waved an elegant hand. "Stop. You haven't done anything to offend me, if that's what you were about to apologize for," she assured her. "But I would have to be blind not to notice that you're troubled. And it has to do with Tse-dira." She tilted her head. "Has _she_ done something? She's quite young, and can be terribly informal at times…"

"No, no, it's not Tse-dira. She is impossibly charming." Janeway looked up after a long pause, and found the core of Tekai's gaze. It was dark and warm…and for a moment, she was reminded of Chakotay's eyes. "I'm so sorry." She didn't know what else to say.

"There's no need to be. You haven't done anything," Tekai repeated assuringly. "Except look exceptionally sad at moments." And that perturbed Tekai. She'd already decided she liked this woman. Despite the world of difference in their lives and experiences, they had an extraordinary amount in common; not surprising, considering they were both leaders of their respective peoples. "Is there anything I can do?"

Janeway smiled sadly. "No, I don't think so. Unless you've got a magic door to the Alpha Quadrant you can loan us."

Tekai exhaled slowly, tilting her head, propping it on finger and thumb as she turned to rest her elbow on the edge of the pool. 'I can do many things…but not that, I'm afraid."

Janeway shrugged, and half-smiled. "Well, then, I'll just have to deal with the problem myself."

"If you don't mind me saying so, that seems a poor choice. Your First Officer seems a dependable man." Amongst other things. Tekai hadn't missed the protective look in the tall, marked man's eyes whenever he was with Janeway. Just as she didn't miss the fleeting look of shame that went across Janeway's face now.

"He is. Very much so."

"And you actually rely on him. Shocking. How dreadful of you, Captain." Tekai teased, and the two women grinned at each other. Sometime in the past few minutes, the last barrier had come down, and they were becoming friends.

"So much for being strong and standing alone." Janeway rolled her eyes. "Shameful, isn't it?"

"Very much so," Tekai scolded lightly, using Janeway's own words. "You wouldn't happen to have another one of him around, would you? I could use the help."

Janeway laughed for the first time in days. "Sorry, the Commander is a unique commodity, and something tells me he wouldn't agree to being cloned."

"How unfortunate," Tekai sighed. The two women chuckled like schoolmates, before Tekai rose from the bench with a heavy groan, stretching.

"Mmm, I think Council will start up again soon, Captain."

"Please, call me Kathryn."

"I'd like that." Tekai smiled, and Janeway felt a ridiculously sentimental smile spread across her own face. "But if I'm to call you by your first name, you must call me Bra-zei. In our ancient tongue, it means 'humble'." Tekai winked, and Janeway had to laugh at the incongruity.

"Kathryn means 'pure," she supplied, and chuckled when Tekai hesitated dramatically and looked pained.

"For your own sake, Kathryn, I ope you haven't lived up to your name. That sounds dreadfully boring."

"Oh, I'm probably as pure as you are humble," Janeway replied with a grin.

"Thank the goddesses for that." Maybe that First Officer of hers did stand a chance. A secret laugh danced in Tekai's eyes as she suddenly reached down and hugged Janeway, who surprised herself by lifting her arms and returning the embrace. The older woman smiled as she stepped away.

"Kathryn, say you and your crew will come to the party the night after next," Tekai said spontaneously.

"Bra-zei, I think I can safely say my crew would _love_ to." Thirteen different department heads were clamoring for more shore leave for their teams.

"Good." Tekai patted her shoulder. "If you can't be with your old family…then spend an evening with your new one, and mine. You and your senior staff can stay at the Residence again. There will still be plenty of room, even with all Tse-dira's cousins running around."

Janeway nodded resolutely, trying not to think of the pending challenge of spending another period of time in close proximity to Tse-dira. "Thank you." Maybe, just maybe, she'd make it through this whole thing without a breakdown or falling completely apart. She had to. She was the Captain.

"Kathryn! You look sad again."

"I'm fine. We'd best get back to that meeting."

Two days later, Chakotay found himself caught in the overpowering, warring sensory input of a Kuritan party in full swing. Incense, wine, rich food, the subdued roar of more than a hundred separate conversations, and a veritable jungle of flowers – the warm air of the enormous dining room _cum_ party hall was positively thick with scent and sound. The mellow buttery colored walls glowed in the light of carefully positioned lamps and clusters of candles that ranged in size from thin tapers to squat pilasters as thick as his arm, and lacy wrought iron gates thrown open to the large courtyard garden of Tekai's private residence gleamed fro recent polishing. But few people were taking advantage of the comparatively cooler garden and its quiet slate walkways. The majority of the partygoers were staying within the hall, the _Alne_ festivities already well underway despite the fact that their hostesses had yet to make an appearance. The Kuritans were reveling in the entertainments the evening provided, young and old, the powerful and the powerless all mingling, dancing, swirling together in an exhilarating assemblage…and _Voyager_ 's crew was a highlight of the evening.

B'Elanna swept up to Tom and chakotay, who'd retreated to a small alcove, out of the way of the main action, and collapsed into a brightly cushioned chair with an ecstatic smile.

"This party is incredible!" She gasped at them, out of breath from the fast dance she'd just shared with one of Tse-dira's male cousins. The young Klingon woman was fitted out in a short, strappy wine-colored dress, and B'Elanna's exotic looks had made her an instant favorite amongst the younger males at the party. She was finding herself in the very unfamiliar position of being the belle of the ball. "I've been here _thirty minutes_ and I've already danced three dances, and sampled four very strange, very delicious drinks! When these Kuritans relax, they really relax!" She fell back against the cushions with an amazed sigh, grinning.

"B'Elanna, where's the Captain?" Chakotay asked. "I thought you and she were planning on arriving together." B'Elanna had joined the senior staff's campaign to cheer the Captain up by asking her to get ready for the party together, and the chief engineer had assured Paris and Chakotay that her invitation had been accepted.

"Oh. She isn't here yet? That's strange." B'Elanna frowned. "Tse-dira descended on my room about an hour before the party, saying something about having the perfect outfit for the Captain, and that was the last I saw of her…I would have thought she'd be here by now. How long does it take to put on a dress?" she finished rhetorically, ever the practical engineer.

"You know, I wouldn't have believed the Captain could tolerate someone so…well,… _flighty_ as Tse-dira," Tom remarked. "And I would never have pictured someone like Principal Tekai with her."

"Well, maybe you should be careful you don't voice that opinion within someone else's hearing," Chakotay said quietly, frowning. "It would embarrass the Captain if someone from Principal Tekai's household overheard you."

B'Elanna looked up from sipping at her drink and shot the blond pilot a look as well. "I think half of Tse-dira's vivaciousness is a defense. I've gotten the impression this society isn't completely accepting of same-sex partners. Even some of her cousins made disapproving remarks." Of course, their objections to Tse-dira's lifestyle didn't prevent them from enjoying their well-connected cousin's hospitality.

Tom made a chagrined face. "I think that came out wrong," he said. "I agree, Tse-dira's sweet and fun. But you all have to admit she's a real anomaly amongst the oh-so-formal Kuritans we've met. Some of them make Seven or Tuvok look like regular comedians."

B'Elanna relented. "I thought you liked Seven's developing sense of humor," she teased with a smile.

"You must be mistaking me for Harry," Tom shot back, grinning, then spotted another cousin making his way through the crowd towards the alcove. 'B'Elanna, I believe the next dance is mine," he chimed quickly. Handing his drink to a surprised Chakotay, Paris pulled his girlfriend onto the dance floor before the hopeful Kuritan got within twenty paces.

Smiling, Chakotay shook his head at the defeated look on the failed interloper's face, then watched Tom and B'Elanna waltz away. Personally, he found the press of the crowded room uninviting, and with half his mind on the conspicuously absent Kathryn, he preferred to remain to one side and watch. Putting side Tom's discarded drink, he folded his large frame into the chair B'Elanna had just vacated, sipping his glass of wine while his eyes leisurely traveled the room. He nodded once in a while, when a familiar face smiled his way, and pointedly ignored the hopeful, inviting looks several of Tse-dira's female cousins sent him.

Eventually, his patient vigil was rewarded. He'd just looked over in the direction of the large double doors that marked the entrance to the cavernous room, surveying the come lately crowd descending from the main hallway, when he spotted the Captain winding her way down the flight of stairs. One hand was trailing along the curving banister, the other gracefully holding a fold of the glistening black sarong-style skirt that slipped and ebbed around her legs. He watched her make her way slowly down the crowded staircase, the long body-conscious skirt hugging her hips and legs, the jet-black material rippling fluidly when she stepped. The skirt's design meant it rhythmically fell open at the wrapped edge as Janeway moved, flashing one slender leg – and Chakotay swallowed reflexively. Her gold and silver communication badge was pinned artfully at the apex of the wrap, shining brightly at one hip, and the Captain's trim, beaded, sleeveless white top showed off her slim arms, the countless tiny crystals glittering like minuscule diamonds. She was undeniably one of the most beautiful – and beautifully dressed – women in the room.

And the crowning glory to the awe inspiring picture she made was her hair; she'd left it loose, and brushed it back off her face to that it fell smoothly past her shoulders in a shiny fall of honey colored mane. Chakotay drank in the sight of her for another moment, then rose from his chair and headed for the stairs.

"Captain?"

Janeway looked up in surprise at Chakotay, who appeared out of the crowd of brightly-attired guests that were spilling over the foot of the staircase. She'd been standing on the bottom step, reluctant to plunge into the crowd alone. A visual search of the room didn't reveal any of her crew or staff in the swirling throng, and Tse-dira and Bra-zei wouldn't arrive at the party before the hour was up.

"Hello, Commander," she greeted him politely, eyeing his cobalt blue linen shirt and matching trousers, the blue playing up his tan coloring. The lines of his tattoo stood out boldly on his forehead, a compliment to his dark good looks, and she wondered for an instant where he'd gotten his finery for the evening; Chakotay was taller and broader than most Kuritans she'd seen. "You look very handsome, Chakotay," she offered.

"Thank you," he returned in his low, baritone voice, his eyes slowly dropping down. She stood still, a little self-conscious under Chakotay's gaze, before he raised his eyes again. "You're stunning," he told her simply.

It was a daring thing to say, and there was a lingering delay between them before she slowly smiled at his artless praise.

"Thank you," she finally said, with an echo of her normal humor. "You have to promise to repeat that sentiment often whenever I'm standing next to B'Elanna or Seven."

Chakotay paused, he was so surprised to hear the smile in her voice. He risked another glance at the striking outfit, and then looked up, caught her watching _him_ , and grinned wolfishly.

"No problem. Just let me know when you're tired of hearing it."

She flushed, and there was another long silent moment while they looked at each other, the cacophony of the party drifted around them. Chakotay recovered first.

"Would you like to get something to drink?"

She nodded. "Is there a bar?"

"There is," he confirmed. "And the good news is they turned down Neelix's offer to help make the drinks."

She gave him another smile for his joke, but this one very clearly didn't reach her eyes. Hiding a frustrated frown, Chakotay held out a hand in invitation, ignoring what his more rational side told him about so boldly flirting with the Captain in front of Kuritan high society and all one hundred and fifty members of the crew. Janeway gave him a strange look but she both surprised and pleased him by slipping her smaller hand into his, letting him take the lead and shoulder a path through the boisterous crowd.

Unfortunately, despite the brighter moments on the stairs, the Captain remained politely withdrawn during the party, a silent, solemn counterpoint to the raucousness that was going on around her, and Chakotay didn't leave her alone for a moment, for fear she'd seize the opportunity to disappear back to her room and brood. He remained beside her throughout the polite conversations with an endless stream of unmemorable dignitaries and the scores of cousins that came forward to introduce themselves to her, trying to lend her some silent support.

Within a couple of hours, many of the senior staff had exhausted their initial enthusiasm for the party and joined Chakotay and Janeway in a cluster of chairs near one of the large, yellow pillars lining the long hall to talk. Several Kuritans drifted over to the group, some visiting for a few minutes, some taking an extended rest from the main festivities. Eventually, Bra-zei and Tse-dira joined them too, and Tse-dira soon took center stage, entertaining her otherworldly guests with comic stories about her many misadventures with the cousins. Janeway sat quietly alongside the rest of the group, listening to the humorous anecdotes, but despite herself, Tse-dira's sweet, funny laughter and good-natured complaints about her family woke powerful memories of Phoebe, and soon Janeway was lost in a shockingly intense longing for hot summer evenings spent walking their dogs through cornrows while crickets complained about autumn's pending arrival. She wanted desperately to be in her old room, sitting on her bed, listening to the sounds of her mother moving around in the kitchen and Phoebe's voice as she called out something from the living room. She needed to hear Phoebe's tuneless humming as she bent her head over her sketchbook, charcoal pencil scratching on the fibery paper…

"…Kathryn?" A hand touched her arm, and she started, pulled out of her reverie. The noise of the party, the heat, the light all roared back at once.

"I – I'm sorry…my mind was somewhere else," she rasped, pushing the words past the lump that had grown in her throat. She glanced covertly across at Chakotay, who was frowning in concern, then at the younger woman beside her. "What…ah, were you saying, Tse-dira?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to go shopping with me the day after tomorrow. Mejeci has wonderful merchants, and you've been shut up in Council since you got here." Tse-dira sent a scolding glance at her partner, who shrugged helplessly. "Would you like to go?"

"Yes…yes…I'd like that." She nodded, smiling gamely at the grinning girl, but then all at once, it was too much. Tse-dira's smile…her laugh…the three and a half years without someone to hug, who could hug back. Struggling against the now familiar grief that was suddenly threatening to escape like floodwaters through a levee, she abruptly stopped talking, and everyone seated around her stared in shock as their Captain's eyes grew bright with tears. Both Paris and Chakotay sat up quickly in their chairs, exchanging a fleeting glance.

Janeway felt the tears burning, threatening to spill down her face, and made an abrupt, broken excuse about the cooler air of the garden. She rose swiftly from her chair and left the group, disappearing into the crowd. There was stunned silence for a moment, as Harry, B'Elanna, everyone looked at each other awkwardly, and then most eyes turned unerringly to Chakotay. He was halfway out of his seat, preparing to go after the Captain when Tekai stretched across the low table between them to lay an arresting hand on his arm.

"Give her some time to herself, Commander," the older woman advised. "I think she needs it right now."

She spoke in such a knowing tone, the dark haired man frowned, but eased back in his chair.

"Was it something I said?" Tse-dira asked tremulously, her eyes pained. Tekai gathered her slender hand into her own, and kissed her partner's fingers lovingly.

"No, _dia_. You haven't done anything, Kathryn likes you very much."

"How can you say that? Every time I speak to her, she looks like she wants to cry…" And this time, she almost had.

The older woman sighed, weighing the consequences of betraying a part of Kathryn's trust against Tse-dira's distressed expression. "I know she does," she said finally. "But Kathryn assures me it's not you. It's something else, something personal."

Chakotay looked shocked. "Captain Janeway's spoken to you about what's bothering her?" he asked bluntly, and Tekai looked up, unsure if the man was disturbed by the fact that she and Janeway had had a personal discussion that he knew nothing about or by her mentioning it in front of the group.

"I won't discuss it any further, Commander. I wouldn't have said anything, except Tse-dira is so worried."

Tom Paris leaned back in his chair and exhaled loudly. "We all know that _something_ is bothering the Captain. And it doesn't help that these negotiations are so drawn out – " At a glare from Chakotay, he broke off and flushed.

"The negotiations are going quite well, and rather quickly for us Kuritans." Tekai smiled wryly. "Most everyone on the Council is very impressed with your Captain, Mr. Paris, and her ability to face down the opposition is becoming legendary."

"That sounds like Captain Janeway, all right," Harry joked, and several people chuckled, the tension beginning to ease. With some small effort, the Kuritan woman guided the conversation away from the absent Captain and onto other things, all the while noting that Kathryn's First Officer remained pensive and failed to join in the revived talk. She didn't comment on this, merely noted it along with his frequent glances towards the garden, smiling to herself before turning to answer a question about Kuritan music from _Voyager_ 's earnest young ensign.

Janeway made her way slowly through the uninhabited garden, hugging herself, despite the heat. Eventually, she wrestled down the urge to cry, but it took her some time to feel settled and in control of her emotions, an unusual thing for a woman used to effortlessly maintaining a calm façade during troubled times. Pushing her hands into her hair over and over again as she walked, she took deep, calming breaths, lifting the weight of it off the back of her overly warm neck for a moment before tossing her head, settling the strands around her shoulders again. She was beginning to regret wearing her hair down, but earlier she hadn't had the desire to dress it up; she'd just pulled a brush through it a few times, and pushed it behind her shoulders.

Someone's shoe made a crunching sound on the rough tile of the path, and she abruptly spun around to look behind her.

"Who's there?" A tall, dark figure moved slightly, and she narrowed her eyes curiously. "Chakotay?"

The shadowed shape coalesced into the tall, rather formally garbed form of a Kuritan, and the tiny smile that was beginning to form on her lips disappeared instantly.

"Good evening, Captain, I apologize for startling you." Minister Rine N'tim soothed as he stepped out of the shadows.

Despite the High Minister of Commerce's courteousness, Janeway shuddered. She'd loathed this large, powerfully built Kuritan the instant she'd met him. Chakotay possessed a similarly palatable aura of strength, but he somehow seemed…purer…than N'tim. Her large First Officer tended to have a restrained manner with people, as though Chakotay instinctively understood how his size and strength were potentially intimidating, even coercive. With N'tim, one instantly sensed he used his strength and presence to get whatever it was that he wanted. He was an ugly man, for all his attractive appearance.

"Yes, the garden is quite lovely," Janeway forced herself to respond politely, surreptitiously glancing around her. She almost winced when she realized she and N'tim were alone.

"Its loveliness is matched by your own, Captain Janeway."

"How kind of you, Minister." She would have liked to leave him to enjoy the place by himself, but he was blocking the path leading back to the house, and she refused to approach him. Every instinct in her body told her not to. She drew herself up to her full height – which was admittedly several inches shorter than N'tim's – preparing for a tense, achingly polite conversation until she could find another ay to escape.

"Are you enjoying the Residence, Captain? I had heard you and your entire senior staff accepted Principal Tekai's invitation to stay here for the duration of the festivities."

"She did invite us, and yes, we're all enjoying it very much. Kuritan hospitality is exceptional."

Tekai and her little friend seem quite fond of your people… and _you_ in particular," N'tim purred. With his carefully modulated tone, he managed to make Bra-zei's affection seem suspect and dirty, like the occasion in Council when he'd hinted that perhaps her willingness to help the visitors had more to do with their attractive Captain than altruism or Kurita's benefit. Janeway had turned positively arctic, and Bra-zei'd gone up in flames while the entire Council had erupted in titillated outrage. Ntim had, of course, immediately withdrawn his remark, but the slur had been made, and the damage done. It had taken Janeway almost two days to work past the aspersion, and she smiled now with considerably less cordiality.

"I'm fond of _both_ of them, Minister," she informed him primly. "Principal Tekai is an extraordinary individual and her spouse, Tse-dira, is a very charming young woman. I won't ever forget the kindness and generosity they've shown to my crew and myself."

"Well, then, it's fortuitous that your travels took you past our world rather than, say, Nolia Prime. They can be unpleasant people, rather quick to attack. I certainly hope you don't have any troubling confrontations with them as you leave Kuritan space." N'tim's expression suggested his real hopes lay in the opposite direction.

"Thank you for your concern, Minister. I'm certain we won't." N'tim's mouth twitched.

"You seem quite sure of yourself," he said disquietingly, and alarms instantly started going off inside Janeway. She slammed down the impulse to take a step back, and unconsciously lifted her chin higher.

"I have three years' experience in the Delta Quadrant, Minister, and an exceptional crew." She glanced around again.

"None of whom are around at the moment." He voiced her thoughts. There was a minor pause in the exchange, while the two of them sized each other up, and N'tim's smile turned predacious. Janeway's eyes narrowed in warning as she struggled to hide her disbelief at the audacity of this man. Surely he didn't intend to try assaulting her? She was Bra-zei's personal guest, as well as the Captain of the powerful starship that was presently in geo-synchronous orbit above his city. "That's true enough, Minister. Almost my entire crew is inside, at the party," she pointed out in a distinctly frosty voice.

"Yes…the _awfully_ noisy party." This time, the casual menace in his voice was unmistakable. He took a step towards her, and Janeway stiffened, her eyes coming alight with unholy fury –

"Captain?"

Both she and N'tim jumped at the sudden calm, deep voice. The thwarted Kuritan clenched his fist reflexively, while Janeway slowly exhaled as Chakotay stepped out of the shadowed turn of the path.

"This must be one of that illustrious crew you spoke of," N'tim smiled malevolently, and for an instant, Janeway worried he'd attack Chakotay. Then she quickly dismissed the idea. She pegged the man as a coward, he wouldn't do anything against someone this physical equal. She said nothing, just shot the Kuritan a viperous look as her First Officer halted beside her.

Chakotay hadn't arrived in time to witness the last exchange – which was probably just as well, for N'tim's sake – but he knew every nuance of his Captain's body language. He glanced at her now, noting the barely controlled tension in her posture, before responding to the minister himself.

"That's right. I'm Captain Janeway's First Officer." There was a faint challenge in his deep voice, which N'tim openly sneered at.

"No formal introductions, Captain?"

"I don't think they're necessary, Minister." She wouldn't give this man the time of day, never mind Chakotay's name.

There was a long dispassionate quiet, while N'tim carefully assessed the icy Captain, and the tall, formidable man who had appeared beside her, then the Kuritan gave a mocking bow and turned away. His footsteps echoed in the empty, walled courtyard as he retreated, his eerie toneless laugh hanging in the air long after he disappeared into the velvety shadows. Janeway stayed silent until she couldn't hear anything in the garden except the murmur of sleepy _forsi_ birds and her own breathing. Then she exhaled softly.

"Who was that?" Chakotay asked.

"Rine N'tim. He's the High Minister of Commerce. I'm sure I mentioned him."

"The friendly fellow from Council," Chakotay said humorlessly. "The one Principal Tekai doesn't like."

"That's the one." She realized she was trembling slightly in the aftermath of N'tim's malignant presence, her overwrought nerves exhausted by the long, emotional tumult of the day…the week. Taking a deep, calming breath, she closed her eyes wearily, raising her face up to the stars, unaware of how the action affected Chakotay. He watched as her elegant profile was touched with silver from the moons overhead, the long hair floating freely behind her shoulders as she tilted her head back. He suddenly wanted to sink his hands into it…

As though she sensed his thoughts, she suddenly turned and looked at him, but he gave away nothing, and for a long moment they stood there together and their eyes met and he waited, until silently, she glanced away.

"Did you want to go back inside?" he asked.

"No." She sighed plaintively, closing her eyes. "I just want to go to my room, Chakotay." It was almost a request, and he was suddenly struck by the appalling day she must have had. A long Council meeting where she'd cajoled and pleaded and argued their need for supplies, her despondency over her far-away sister, and just now, the nasty encounter with N'tim. He nodded sympathetically.

"Why don't I walk you there?"

"You don't have to, Chakotay."

"I want to."

Janeway glanced at him. He could be as stubborn as her, at times, and she sensed _this_ was one of those times, and she didn't have the energy for a battle of wills. "All right." She began walking slowly along the wide paved path, taking a different direction than the one N'tim had left in, and Chakotay fell in beside her. After a moment, he rested a comforting hand in the small of her back, ostensibly to help guide her along the dark path, and she smiled despite herself at the old-world flavor of the gesture. The maestro, Leonardo, often did that when she walked in his Italian garden with him. Hologrammatical Renaissance courtly manners incarnate. But Chakotay was no hologram. His large, steady solid presence was like a balm after a day spent riding her unsettled emotions, and nearly without thinking, she rested her head against his shoulder for a moment as they walked together underneath gently swaying trees whose ancient limbs creaked in the warm breeze.

"Kathryn?" His voice was gentle velvet in the darkness.

"Yes?" She raised her head.

"I'm worried about you."

For a long time, she didn't answer, then she gave him a lop-sided smile. "There's still nothing you can do, Chakotay."

"How do you know unless you trust me?"

She slowed, then stopped, closing her eyes and sighing. His hand dropped away as he turned to face her.

"Chakotay," she murmured, glancing up at him sadly. "We're leaving in another three days – "

"And in the meantime," he interrupted, his dark eyebrows drawing together in a scowl that distorted the tattoo on his brow. "You'll just keep driving yourself into the ground with work, hiding from the crew, not eating, and gazing miserably at Tse-dira whenever she's in sight? And expect me to just stand by and watch you do it, correct? I have to hand it to you, Kathryn. You ask a hell of a lot." HE laughed humorlessly and dragged a hand through his hair, the tenor of his chuckle underscored by days of tension, a hint of anger. It wasn't a complaint a First Officer should voice, but for him, there were far more personal motives taking issue at the moment.

Janeway frowned. "I'll be all right, Commander," she told him, the voice of reason, reality.

"That's good, because I might not be," he retorted, his uncharacteristic moodiness irrevocably informing her of the heavy price the week had extracted from him, too. She winced in sudden guilt.

"I know…you've been worried." She hesitantly touched his hand. He ducked his dark head away for a moment, but she saw the corners of his mouth twitch in a grimace, and she took his hand then, trying to reassure him that she wasn't suffering as they both knew she was, offering him an imperfect gratitude, the only kind she could, for his friendship and caring. He sighed tiredly, the dogged tension in his shoulders and arms leaving him in a great shudder, and he squeezed her fingers, holding them tightly, but she didn't flinch at the pressure or pull away. She told herself she was doing for him what she would have Seven or Harry or Neelix if she'd found them agitated or miserable…she stood there beside him, returning his deathgrip as best she could, her other hand curling gently in the curve of his elbow, the heat of his skin reaching her fingers through the linen of his shirt, the hard muscles of his arm hard beneath her hand. This close to him, she could make out the faint scent of his hair and skin, the barely-there smoky smell of the grasses he must have burnt while meditating earlier in the day.

When he finally raised his head, she gave him a small uncertain smile. He looked back at her for a lengthy moment, his eyes almost black in the moonlit garden, his dark gaze still unsettled, and her smile slowly faded as she sensed something in his eyes. But before she could react, he stepped closer, both his hands darting up to capture her face, and Chakotay bent his head to fasten his mouth on hers.

Janeway started to gasp a protest, which he immediately silenced with his kiss, cutting off the words the instant she dared part her lips beneath his, recklessly invading the warmth of her mouth with his scorching tongue, his kiss, his touch, his taste all conspiring to overwhelm her. Part of her mind screamed at her to stop this _now_ , but that rational thought was swept away alongside propriety and constraint as Chakotay's tongue swept over hers. He tasted sweet, like the wine he'd been drinking, a wild strange counterpoint to the hot pressure of his mouth, and her reeling senses barely had enough time to faintly register his distant groan before he raised his mouth a fraction, gasping raggedly for air, his breath hot on her cheek – and Janeway came back to herself with a jolt.

She pushed her hands between them and shoved up and out, hard, breaking his hold on her.

"Stop it!"

The words hit him like acid.

Chakotay dropped his hands immediately, stepping back, his chest heaving with his fierce struggle for control. He raised his shaky hand to his head, pulling it through his hair, his breathing ragged, and his eyes were black with the war going on inside him…desire and remorse, unconcealed need…

"Kathryn…"

She sliced a hand through the air that silenced him in an instant as she took a deliberate step back, moving out of his reach. She looked at him for a long time, her own breath still coming quickly, her gaze lingering on his mouth, his eyes, his face. Then without saying anything, she turned and walked away.

He didn't follow.

She opened her eyes the next morning after a nervous night, and immediately recalled the heated kiss in the garden, the memory of it carrying through the entire morning. Several times, people asked her if something was wrong and she would just shake her head, and whomever she was with would nod, ascribing her strange detachment to the melancholy she'd been suffering from all week. Chakotay was scheduled to oversee transferring purchased supplies from the planet-side depot to the ship and didn't appear all day, and in the end Janeway was glad, because she wasn't sure how she would have reacted.

What did he want from her? She thought she knew, and at times it made her angry. Furious. She was his captain – she wasn't about to become his little bedmate! The man should be thanking his precious ancestors he wasn't spending the next decade in the brig! But even as she bristled at his outrageous behavior she remembered the burning touch of his mouth…

Before she knew it, the afternoon's abbreviated Council meeting was at an end, the day was over, and the evening meal was upon her.Chakotay sent his apologies, explaining that he was occupied with ship's business and wouldn't be joining the group for dinner, and Janeway breathed a private sigh of relief as she listened to the house attendant relay the message to Bra-zei outside the Council room. She knew she wouldn't have been able to eat or converse coherently if he'd been at the table, too. Chakotay's behavior last night had thrown her off balance, like a ship without its keel, and she was struggling yet again with another emotional buffeting, finding herself wishing for simpler days, when all she had to worry about was Chakotay leading a Maquis mutiny. Chakotay as pursuing paramour was infinitely more troubling…

That night, she and the rest of _Voyager_ 's senior staff ate a quiet, sumptuous meal with their Kuritan hostesses and a handful of the cousins, before one by one, people began to drift away to spend the evening as they wished. It was quite a different scene from the previous evening, when the party had filled the house with noise and laughter until dawn, but everyone was tired and content to leisurely explore the courtyard or gather in small groups to talk and relax.

Janeway joined several others in bidding Bra-zei and Tse-dira an early good night, reiterating her promise to go shopping with the girl the next afternoon. Somewhere between the party last night and dinner, Janeway had managed to make peace with the fact that Tse-dira was a living reminder of Phoebe, and was consequently making a real effort to respond to _her_ and not the memories of her far-away sister. Chakotay's brazenness had helped push the issue of Tse-dira/Phoebe to the perimeters of her mind, and for her part, Tse-dira seemed to be restraining her impulse to rush forward and engage Janeway's attention whenever she entered a room. Over the lingering, informal meal, the two women had begun to build a healthier rapport that boded well for the little time that remained before _Voyager_ 's departure, and Janeway's staff cast relieved glances at each other as their Captain smiled and wished them all pleasant evenings before heading to her own room.

"Now, maybe Chakotay can relax and quit worrying," Paris leaned over to whisper in B'Elanna's ear. She mockingly scowled and elbowed him for exaggerating; Paris hadn't told her about the incident with the Captain in the mess hall, so she didn't properly understand the relief in the pilot's voice.

"He wasn't that bad," she whispered back loyally, but grinned even as she said it. Chakotay's concern had been obvious to everyone – and that had been as unusual as the Captain's despondency. With both their normally stoic senior officers openly pre-occupied, it had been a strange week for _Voyager_ 's crew. But thankfully, the sins were that things were returning to normal.

Janeway made her solitary way through the maze-like private wing of the Residence, finally turning down a shadowed hallway whose taupe stucco walls were covered with familiar tiny murals. She was glad for the uniqueness of the pictures, without which she would never have been able to find her way to her suite. The heels of her shoes _clacked_ sharply on the mocha colored ceramic tiles beneath her feet as she walked, and after a moment, she stopped and slipped them off.

She was dressed all in white this evening, in another outfit Tse-dira had pressed upon her, an uncomplicated sleeveless column dress that covered her shoulders, skimmed her hips and fell to the tops of her feet. Her communicator pin, her only adornment, winked brightly like a badge of honor over her heart. The shoes that went with the dress were equally simple and elegant, but a bit higher heeled than she normally preferred, and she took them off now with a relieved sigh. The borrowed footwear dangling from her fingers, the tiles cool and smooth beneath her bare feet, she straightened up…and found herself face to face with a uniformed Chakotay.

There was a full five seconds of silence.

"I owe you an apology," he finally said. "A huge one." His brown eyes looked into hers frankly, and she bit the inside of her lip at how his ingenuousness struck a nerve in her, she didn't want to be touched by his presence _or_ his sincerity. It would almost have been better if he'd been racy, even insubordinate. Bolstering herself, she returned his look thoughtfully and then nodded, ignoring the pounding of her heart.

"Yes, you do." She stood straight and tall, every inch a Starfleet Captain. "I don't understand what happened, Commander."

"Are you angry?"

"Yes," she admitted. "But mostly, I'm disappointed. I wouldn't have ever expected something like that from you."

She looked at him somberly, saying nothing further, and Chakotay narrowed his eyes.

He'd spent the day consumed with guilt, berating himself for his loss of control, for taking advantage of her vulnerable state, but now, _her_ chastisement pricked at him. He was seeing the actress again, he realized, and she was playing this scene superbly. The perfectly chosen words, designed to remind him of their synergetic working relationship, the quiet reproach, to jab at his personal sense of responsibility.

But her words and manner weren't having the desired effect. He almost smiled. He wasn't Harry Kim – he wasn't about to blush and beg her forgiveness and send himself to the brig – and he knew her, too. He could play this game as well.

"You were really that surprised, Kathryn?" he asked her quietly, a faint smile played at his mouth.

She hesitated, her cool, professional façade slipping just a notch, and Chakotay arched an eyebrow. As though unbidden, his eyes slowly dropped down to admire the slim line of her figure under the white dress, and by the time they'd risen and returned to her face, she was flushing, the color staining her throat and cheeks.

"You can get _that_ thought out of your head right now, Commander!" she ground out, furious, and a moment later, he flushed, too, ashamed. He wasn't some adolescent cadet and Kathryn was a person who had earned his respect a long time ago. He opened his mouth to apologize, but before he knew it, he heard himself quietly say, "Too late. You're the only thing I've thought about all day."

His subdued admission disarmed her completely, her fury draining suddenly away like water into sand. She blinked, staring at him like he was a stranger, her gaze unfathomable. Then her blue eyes slid lower, to his mouth, and he watched her swallow slowly, the tiny muscles of her throat working under the smooth pale skin. In that instant, Chakotay knew she'd been plagued by the same thoughts he'd had all day…of the two of them, together, restless moths exploring, hands stroking softly over bare skin…

She lifted her eyes, and the ill-disguised longing he saw shining in their depths before she looked away shook him to the core and he found himself briefly considering the sheer lunacy of kissing the hell out of one's captain in a shadowed corridor with half a dozen crewmembers running around somewhere in the same house. The thought of the brig was a cold and lonely one…but it didn't stop him from wanting her. Hell. He almost shook his head. He'd be dead a hundred years and still want her, and he suddenly wasn't willing to spend another three, four years concealing or denying it, to hell with protocol, with command structure….

He stepped forward to slowly, deliberately capture her face with both hands, a gentle echo of his actions the night before. She went rigid as soon as he touched her and her eyes flew up to his, but she didn't pull away. He held her intense gaze, trying to read her thoughts, trying to will her to hear his while his fingers began to gently press against her face, stroking her temples, the hollows behind her ears. She was stiff, a living statue, but still he looked into her eyes, while his hands, his unwavering gaze drove home his longing for her.

"Kathryn…" His gaze was steady, but his voice wasn't.

Something in her frozen expression changed, some tiny hint of desire, perhaps, and he slowly drew her forward to press a kiss to her lips. Her eyes slid shut, but she clamped her lips closed, and held herself stiffly, as though she was afraid to respond. His lips were soft against her sealed mouth, his tongue drew a burning line along her tight lips, while his fingers massaged her head, sliding down and around to stroke her throat. His mouth remained on hers, teasing her with his tongue, his lips moving endlessly over and over on hers, teasing, promising, until her mouth softened and started to open under his.

Kathryn had managed to lie to herself all day, telling herself that he'd forced the kiss, the embrace last night, ignoring the knowledge that one sharp word spoken sooner in the garden would have resulted in her more rapid freedom. And with Chakotay's mouth on hers now, his large hands holding her, suspending her outside of reality, she admitted the truth, at least to herself. She hadn't stopped him sooner in the garden, because _she wanted him_. Because he drew her like no one else…not even poor, distant, forgotten Mark. Because with his slow, easy smile, his preternaturally calm gaze that she regularly felt fall on her when she wasn't looking at him, his quiet, solid strength, he drew her in, away from her own solitude, until he was integral, a part of her…

Chakotay felt the change in her, and raised his head in surprise, his eyes dark with desire. He gazed down at her while she kept her eyes closed, her thoughts hidden. On fire, he brushed his thumbs against her lips, and clenched his jaw fiercely when she feathered a kiss against the faintly rough pads of their tips. Was she…did she…? With agonizing slowness, hardly daring to breathe, he dropped one hand from where it cradled her face, spreading his fingers as he slid them gently over the crest of her collarbone, slowly, slowly, searching her face for any sign that she didn't want this, slowly moving down to gently cup a full breast in his hand.

She moaned and covered his hand with one of hers. Then opened her eyes, and whispered his name.

The next two minutes were a blur for both of them. Chakotay maintained enough presence of mind to draw her into his nearby room, before anyone else appeared in the corridor. But once the door closed and locked behind them, he pulled her into his arms, and she came eagerly to his kiss, their mouths avid on each other's, tongues twining, exploring.

Standing there, only a few feet into the room, his hands strafed her from neck to hip, cupping her buttocks, hands roaming her back, then higher. The fabric of her dress bunched while he kneaded her shoulders, then flattened as he drew his hands around to capture her breasts, feeling her heart thudding in her chest as he did. He massaged his open palms over her, the friction and firm pressure making her nipples harden between his sliding fingers. They flexed then closed, and she cried out and tightened her arms around his neck at the constricting pleasure that shot through her. He dropped his hands away to grip her waist, lifting his mouth away, and she realized he was trembling.

"Kathryn," he rasped in dazed urgency. "I want you – " he broke off and groaned in surrender when she ran her hand over his thigh, then higher. His breath hissed and he pushed against her palm. She crowded closer, mad to feel him, stroking his arousal through his clothing while she kissed the firm line of his neck, exposed when he turned his face up at the stabbing pleasure. She felt his hands at her dress, then there was the chime of a communicator pin striking tile, and the soft fabric loosened around her shoulders. She reluctantly released him then and stepped back to slide her arms free. Chakotay's hands helped, a a moment later the dress pooled in a circle at her feet and she gracefully stepped out of it. Lifting her arms, reaching back to pull the pins from her hair, she released it from its knot to fall around her face, then raised her eyes to his.

Chakotay gazed at her face and then her body for such a long moment and with such naked desire that she suddenly felt as if she was the most alluring woman that had ever lived. Her lips curved gently…then seductively.

"I want you, too," she whispered huskily, in belated reply.

He inhaled sharply and guided her the two faltering steps back to press her against the smooth wall behind her. Pinning her against the stone, still warm from the inescapable heat of the day, he devoured her mouth for a long moment, his breath warm and fast on her face, before moving back to shakily remove the last of her clothing. She trailed her fingers along the sleeve of his uniform, holding herself away from the wall as he descended to a crouch in front of her to peel the silky beige lace from her slender hips, slipping his hands down her thighs, over the smooth curve of her knees, gently lifting one foot, then the other.

The long, slim fingers of her one hand pulled commandingly at the vee at the neck of his uniform as he stood, the other caressing his hip. Chakotay shuddered and quickly began divesting himself of his clothing, before her touch, the sight of her, drove him beyond all control. With hooded eyes, Kathryn watched him strip, the sight of his large, lean body incredibly intoxicating, intensely arousing, and as soon as his clothes joined hers on the stone tiles, she pulled him towards her until his rigid erection pressed against her belly.

"Chakotay," she sighed, the word dying off into a suffocated breath as his hand at her waist slipped lower, his fingers sweeping over her hip before sliding between her legs and touching her. Her knees almost buckled with her reaction, her fingers digging into the arm that held her upright. He pressed firmly, slipping inside a small tantalizing distance and out again, his fingers coming away slick and moist. She shivered in the warm air, feeling an echoing tremor go through him. Pulling her heavy lids open, her eyes gazed up at him, blazing blue, and a faint smile flickered over his strained face.

"Next time, we'll take longer," he promised thickly. With that, he bent his knees, lifting her under the arms so that her feet left the ground entirely, pressing her against the wall, and she instantly wrapped her legs around his hips, his unchecked urgency feeding her own, feeling him hard against her soft entrance. Bracing himself, he drove up into her with all his strength.

Her involuntary explosive cry – hot, sexual, unmistakable – rang out through the room. It was a cry that undoubtedly could be heard in the corridor beyond, and she froze in his arms, alarm penetrating her heated senses. Quickly cupping her chin, Chakotay guided her face up to his and kissed her hard.

"No one heard," he whispered against her mouth. "No one's there." Even if the door came crashing open and a dozen people filled the room, he had no intention of stopping now. Kathryn, hot and so incredibly tight around him, his body on fire…

He'd kill anyone who interrupted.

Wrapping his arms under her, he recklessly plunged forward, beginning a hard, steady rhythm while she gasped raggedly, tightening, clutching his shoulders at his rapid, heated penetration, her more than three years of celibacy making itself felt in that first moment…but only for a moment.The rough sounds of their breathing accelerated, flooding the shadowed room with the sounds of their lovemaking while their bodies lifted higher together. She clung to him tightly, her entire being focused on the burning feel of him inside her, the inner spiral of thrilling heat coiling tighter, faster with every hard, furious thrust.

Chakotay was in the grip of his own violent passion, her short, ascending whimpers fueling his mad craving for her. He moved with savage intensity, thrusting into her, his mouth sometimes hard against her neck. Then his breath caught, and madness or not, he hurtled past the point of being able to stop. Kathryn cried out sharply, bowing away from the wall as Chakotay drove up a final time, before they came wildly together, the brutal pleasure ripping through both of them, annihilating any surviving thought.

Trembling, slick with perspiration, they stayed locked together while their labored breathing slowed, and the last violent shudders of pleasure rippled away. When the tempest had finally, truly passed, Kathryn dropped her head to rest on Chakotay's shoulder, her hair falling over her face, filling his nose with her scent. He pressed a kiss into it. She pushed her face into the damp hollow between his throat and shoulder, murmuring softly when he gently put his hands underneath her, reluctantly withdrawing from her. Her legs slipped limply fro his waist, and he carefully lowered her until her feet touched the ground again and she slid her arms around his waist, exhaling slowly, rolling her head back in the cradle of his arm to meet his kiss. It was long and tender, languid and gentle in the afterglow.

When he drew back with a sigh and bent to lift her, intending to carry her to the bed, she stopped his downward motion with a light hand against his jaw.

"I can walk," she murmured tiredly with a tiny smile. He straightened, smiling, and let her lead the way. She looked up over her shoulder once, as though to reassure herself that he was right behind her, and he kept a possessive hand in the small of her back as they crossed the tiled floor to the huge bed dominating the well-appointed room.

They slept, resting loosely against each other in the slumbering heat of the Kuritan night. An indeterminate time later, Chakotay stirred at a _forsi_ bird's sharp call, the shrill sound pulling him from his doze. Opening his eyes, he lifted his head from the pillow, listening for a moment before relaxing back against the soft headrest as the sound of the start of the night rain drifted into the room.

But once awake, his body didn't want to go back to sleep. He capitulated, stretching and sighing softly before shifting in bed, propping himself up on one elbow, resting his head in his hand to gaze down at Kathryn lying in repose beside him, her cheek resting softly o the pillow, her face young and vulnerable, alive with the concentration of sleep. Fascinated by the classic sweep of her cheekbone and the dark blond lashes that fringed her closed eyes – surprising, he'd never noticed how beautifully long her lashes were – he reached over, gently tracing the line of her eyebrow. Feathering his fingers down her smooth cheek, along her throat, he was instantly and utterly charmed when the corners of her mouth turned up slightly, testimony to her awareness of him even while she was lost in dreams. He gently removed his hand, and the faint smile slowly faded. Experimentally, he tried it again, careful to keep his touch soft, so as not to wake her, running his fingers gently along her throat, and he was rewarded once more with a tiny smile that lingered for a moment before she slipped away from him.

For several minutes, Chakotay just lay beside her and watched her, the gentle rise and fall of the gauzy, linen sheet that lay softly over her breasts, the still curve of the fingers that lay upturned on the pillow beside her head, where her hair spread out in silken disarray. Outside, the rain continued to fall, relieving the air of its palatable humidity. When a low growl of thunder rolled over the house, Kathryn frowned when the unusual sound penetrated her sleep; another rumble from the lazy storm, and she squeezed her eyes tight before drowsily opening them. Turning her head slightly, she blinked sleepily up at him, and Chakotay shifted beside her and waited, his heart suddenly in his throat. But his sudden, nameless fear didn't come to pass.

"Hello," she smiled, her voice husky and soft.

He smiled back, as his heart started beating again. "Hello."

The rainfall was coming down hard now, thrumming against ancient stone of the balcony, showering into the thin, quivering leaves of the trees outside their open room. The air had already begun to cool, and Kathryn stretched languidly under the sheet. Her tongue slipped out to wet her lips.

"Would you like some water?"

She looked at him in the half-light of the luxurious bedroom, surprised by his perceptiveness. "I can get it myself," she said after a moment.

"Don't bother. I offered, remember?"

When he returned with the cool, sweet water, she sat up in bed, modesty holding the sheet to her breasts with one hand while she accepted the glass. 

"Thank you."

"You're welcome," he replied quietly, ordering himself not to smile at her perfect manners. She sounded like they were sharing coffee in her ready room. He sank down onto the edge of the mattress, drinking in the sight of Kathryn Janeway, hair loose around her face, gloriously nude except for one sheer bedsheet. She sipped the water, then tucked a falling lock of hair behind her ear, studiously avoiding looking at him…at least, meeting his eyes or looking anywhere below the level of his chest. Chakotay frowned for a moment, feeling a curl of concern growing in his stomach. He studied her for another minute, then almost laughed out loud when it hit him.

His proud Amazon of a Captain…was feeling _shy_!

He took pity on her, and left her alone on the bed, moving to pick up her dress from where it lay in a puddle of white cloth, draping her borrowed finery carefully over the back of a carved wooden chair. He moved slowly, comfortable in his nudity, patiently letting her adjust to the situation, accepting the facts of what they'd done, almost hearing her body relax one degree at a time. He didn't look in her direction, just went about quietly retrieving her shoes, placing them on the chair's seat.

She finally cleared her throat, and he looked over.

"Don't worry about those. Come here." She stroked the empty spot beside her. He smiled and went to her, moving like a big cat.

Dropping the sheet as he sat down again, she surprised him by sliding across the short expanse separating them onto his lap, twining her arms around his neck, and they kissed as she settled into his ready embrace. Her tongue touched his, and Chakotay forced himself to relax and sit quietly while she explored his mouth, her lips warm and soft over his. He waited until she drew away with an appreciative sigh, then he gathered her back against him, pressing a kiss on the smooth curve of her shoulder.

"Kathryn?"

"Yes?" She flicked her tongue against the ridge of his collarbone, tasting the subtle salt of his skin. Her teeth grazed him, and he hissed pleasurably under his breath. After a difficult, distracted moment, he found is voice again.

"Please understand how much I…appreciate…your attention right now," he smiled into her hair. "But at the risk of ruining the mood, don't you agree we need to talk about this?" His hands stroked her back, caressing her almost in spite of him, and Kathryn faltered for a moment before she raised her head and began to press slow kisses along his jaw.

"I don't really want to talk right now," she murmured back. She didn't dare say yes. She didn't dare stop to talk, to think, because then she'd have to consider what she'd done and the consequences, the repercussions, what it would mean…

Straightening in his lap, she lightly moved her mouth against his, her lips warm and tantalizingly soft, making her own persuasive argument for a delay, and Chakotay's tepid resolve melted within seconds. He let her coax him into a long, deep kiss that rendered them both breathlessly oblivious of the world outside their room, and he hummed under his breath when her lips burned a long, slow line down his throat, the low, rumbling sound lost in the heavy thrum of the rain, his determination to initiate the weighty, necessary discussion dissolving with the feel of Kathryn supple in his arms. His hands slipped up her body to cover both breasts, weighing their shape, the pads of his fingers brushing the sensitized nipples, and he felt her soft gasp against is neck. He plucked at her nipples, teasing, and she moved restlessly on his lap, lifting her head and arching into his hands, her skin gleaming where the rippling moonlight fell on it.

His body's accelerated reaction was unmistakable, his hardness nudging her thigh. Wrapping an arm around her for support, he lowered his head to lick a turgid peak, his hand holding her cupped for his mouth. He sucked gently at first and then less so, using his teeth, and Kathryn moaned, barely able to breathe past the stabbing pleasure. Her hands left his shoulders to cradle his head closer but Chakotay lifted away, sliding a fingertip over the hard, moistened tip, then lathing it with his tongue once again before turning his mouth to her other breast.

His supporting arm tightened, his freed hand sliding down, fingers trailing over the slight ridge of her ribcage then lower, inward, and she held her breath, body tensing. He smiled as he kissed her nipple, enjoying her obvious anticipation while he drew his fingers over her flat stomach, listening for the catch in her breathing. When Chakotay finally slipped his hand between her thighs to stroke her with a butterfly touch, she gasped when he gently parted still sensitive tissue – she was still too sore, their earlier joining had been too rushed – then his fingers slipped inside, and she shuddered, then melted. Her head fell back with such a quivering sigh, Chakotay had to fight off the sudden urge to forgo the rest and make love to her with his hand until she screamed.

He teased her, spreading a rapid fire through her lower body when he gently brought his long, unhurried fingers to life while his mouth continued to nuzzle her breast, setting off tiny outlying ripples of sensation, stealing her awareness of anything save him. She bit back the delirious sounds that rose in her throat while he expertly used his fingers, mouth and teeth until her arms were tight around his shoulders and she was writhing against his embrace.

"Chakotay! Stop!" she cried out between gasps, and he smiled triumphantly. Wrapping both his arms around her, he fell backwards, pulling her with him, tumbling them safely into the middle of the bed. Stretching his long body out beside her, he kissed her hungrily and slid his hands over her, beginning his sensual assault anew, but Kathryn had recovered enough to have her own ideas.

Clasping his shoulders, she rolled him onto his back, gently pushing away his urgent hands and sliding down his body, pausing to drop a long, teasing kiss on the plane of his stomach. He groaned. When her fingers brushed his groin, he twisted and gasped aloud, until she lay a hand over his hip, instantly stilling him. She hesitated, feeling a tiny thrill of power. Is heated, strained smile was shaky, and grew more so as she kissed her way slowly down his hip. 

"Kath…ryn…" His low rumble was half threat. Unperturbed, she smiled like a cat, and took him into her mouth.

Chakotay thought he'd explode. He shuddered violently, his entire world suddenly, fiercely narrowing to just the erotic warmth of her mouth, her slender, stroking fingers, and the exquisite sensations coursing through him as she –

"Oh, god!" His hands fisted for a moment into the bedsheet, his breath roared harshly in his own ears. His breathing caught unevenly when she paused once at the peak of her ascent – his hips lifted in unconscious pleading, and her mouth descended again, pulling an aching groan of pleasure from him. He slipped trembling fingers into the tangled silk of her hair, cradling her head, the flat muscles of his belly tense with constraint, and he murmured her name over and over again in a litany while his mind went up in searing flames.

Only moments later, his body reeling on the brink, he reached down to pull her up, and for a few seconds, she lay stretched out on him, her slender legs tangling with his stronger ones, their bellies pressed together, her hair falling around their faces, tickling his cheek, his lips. Then he took her mouth and rolled her under him. Reckless, feverish need shivered through her as she wound her legs around his. She arched against him in welcome, her lower belly aching in anticipation and Chakotay responded, sinking into the cradle of her hips. Whereupon he stopped.

Kathryn felt him go motionless, and her eyes flew open to look at him, poised above her, pulling her mouth away fro his to urgently whisper, "What is it?"

Chakotay shut his eyes briefly. When he opened them again, banked flames shone in their dark brown depths. "I wasn't very gentle last time…I don't want to hurt you, now," he explained softly.

Touched, she lifted up to kiss him. "It's all right," she urged against his lips. The pleasure quickly outweighed the soreness; he'd proven that just a short time ago. Her hands stroked his shoulders, brushed his elbows, while she murmured her encouragement. Cautiously, he eased forward, but attuned to the nuances of her body, he paused when he felt her tense ever so slightly, her reluctant body belying her brave words.

"No, Kathryn, we can't – "

She slipped her arms down his back. "Don't stop," she ordered him huskily.

He groaned. With infinite care, he pressed forward another small distance, while her body slowly relaxed, opening completely to him once again. He entered her with unimaginable slowness, Kathryn sighing softly.

"Am I hurting you?" he whispered once, his lips against her cheek.

"No," she breathed. He felt incredible. "…Chakotay…"

She stirred under him in mute appeal, but he held still, the restraint almost erotic. She suddenly seemed so small beneath him; in some barbarian part of his mind, left out of the course of evolution and the veneer of twenty fourth century enlightenment, her uncharacteristic delicacy was incredibly arousing. A thousand images of dominant male and soft womanhood flashed through his head…

Then Kathryn arched her hips, her hands slipping down to the small of his back, pressing hard, her assertive demand clear. The insistent pressure of her hands at the base of his spine reminded him of his purpose, and he groaned raggedly, sliding his hand under her hip, lifting her more tightly against him. He began moving in her, penetrating, withdrawing, gliding in, his pace growing helplessly more intense as she murmured her pleasure and raised her head to kiss him. He forced her lips open, plunging his tongue inside, his tongue mimicking the movements of his body, and Kathryn responded with equal ardor, opening her mouth in heated welcome.

His hand slid down and lifted her leg, holding her thigh hard on his hip as he plunged deeper, each thrust driven by the full force of his lower body. She cried out sharply, her fingernails digging into his sweat-sheened back, meeting his powerful movements in restless fervor, spurring him on.

"Yess…yes…" Her breathing progressively changed, coming harder as they rocked together, until her breath stopped entirely for a fraction of a moment. Then she arched beneath him, his name tearing from her lips as she screamed in exquisite pleasure. Chakotay thrust into the root, holding himself deep inside through her shuddering climax, the tight pulses of her body touching off his own staggeringly explosive release. His back arched at the rushing force of his orgasm, convulsively crying her name when he flooded into her, feeling like his soul was leaving him for her.

Spent, they sprawled together on the rumpled sheets, gasping like swimmers just pulled from the depths. They lay breathless for several minutes before Chakotay finally shifted above her, taking his remaining weight off her, brushing a kiss over her mouth before sliding to one side.

"Kathryn…" He leaned his head against her slick shoulder, listening to the still heavy beat of her heart, the sweat from his forehead cooling and stinging his eyes. "We have to talk…about this," he groaned.

She wrapped exhausted arms around him, and shoved away her sudden dread. "Not…right…now..?"

"Later," he murmured tiredly.

"Later."

It sounded like a promise. He rolled over onto his back, pulling her with him, cradling her. He kept her tucked possessively against him, his arms holding her captured against his body, until long after they both fell asleep.

A tendril of early morning sun, flickering through the trees that screened his balcony from the courtyard below, creeping warmly over his face, finally roused him from his deep sleep. Squeezing his eyes tight against the bothersome light, Chakotay rolled onto his side with a subdued sigh. His hand smoothed over the mattress, drowsily searching for the warm curve of Kathryn's body that had curled against him during the final hours of the night. But his seeking hand discovered only empty folds of bed linen…

His eyes slowly opened. A moment later, he sat up abruptly in bed. His gaze flashed to the empty balcony, the vacant bathing room – visible through the curving metal lattice-work – then stopped on the chair where he'd draped Kathryn's white dress during the course of the night.

It was gone.

Chakotay stared at the chair for several moments with a clenched jaw before turning away.

0930 hours. Janweay pushed the computer away and rubbed her tired eyes, wondering if there was any coffee left in the pot, if it was worth the effort to go look, and if she dared leave her office to fetch a fresh supply from the mess hall. A moment's reflection, and she decided in the negative regarding her final thought. _Coward_. A tiny mental voice chided before she ruthlessly silenced it, turning her attention to the computer display once more. After delicately extricating herself from Chakotay's sleeping embrace, she'd fled back to the ship, ducking into her quarters to shower, gather her hair into its customary ponytail and pull on a uniform, then barricaded herself in her ready room with firm orders not to be disturbed unless it was an emergency. Tuvok had raised a Vulcan eyebrow at that stricture, just as he had when she'd entered the bridge at a surprising 6:30am ship's time, but he'd remained silent on the issue, merely acknowledging the order with a brisk nod. Thank god. She was relying on him to keep the traffic in and out of her ready room to a minimum. Especially when it came to tall men with tattoos.

Unfortunately, the Vulcan watchdog ploy was successful only for another hour, and then the door chime sounded, harshly interrupting her solitude. She sat up with horrible, sinking dread, but forced her features into a calm expression before she called, "Come in."

Dressed in his bright red and black uniform, his gleaming dark hair perfectly groomed, his face excruciatingly neutral, Chakotay walked through her door and across the short expanse of carpet to her desk.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, Captain, but there's a situation in Engineering I need your help with."

His inflection was a fraction flatter than usual, his tone particularly purposeful, but other than that, there was no indication on his part that this morning wasn't unlike a hundred others they'd passed in the Delta Quadrant. She was careful to keep her own voice and demeanor as efficient.

"The warp core?"

"No. It's Seven," he replied, then added. "And B'Elanna. They're having a disagreement. I managed to separate them, and I can get B'Elanna to see reason, but I'm not reaching Seven of Nine, and the situation is getting worse down there." Janeway noted his use of Seven's full name, something he only did when the young woman was at her most Borgish.

Seven's temporary presence in Engineering was necessary, since she and Harry Kim were using their layover at Kurita to fine-tune the Astrometrics lab's power assemblage, trying to hold the energy drain from other systems to a minimum. And while easy-natured Ensign Kim tended not to bristle at Seven's unique way of doing things, peaceful relations between the Chief Engineer and the former Borg were never a certainty; Klingon tempers and a Borg-inspired disregard of the niceties – such as asking permission before playing with _Voyager_ 's sensitive systems – sometimes meant a heated clash of personalities.

Janeway nodded even as Chakotay was finishing his brief explanation of this morning's Engineering problem, quickly vacating her desk, heading for the bridge and its turbolift with her First Officer close on her heels. Chakotay had exceptional people skills, and if his usual low-key style didn't work, he still had all the authority that came with being second in command. If _that_ wasn't enough to curb Seven, then her behavior must be truly outrageous, and the Captain's sudden, authoritarian appearance would likely be the only effective means of establishing the boundaries of appropriate conduct, once again. Hopefully, she could manage just such a showing before B'Elanna and Seven progressed from trading hot and cold barbs to exchanging something else – like right hooks. It would be unfortunate if she didn't reach Engineering before the staff had to dodge flying Borg implants, and she had the unwanted task of searching the crew manifest for a new Chief Engineer.

Hurriedly handing command of the peaceful bridge over to Tuvok, she and Chakotay entered the turbolift, the doors hissing closed behind them; Chakotay supplied the appropriate deck number, the turbolift immediately chirped in affirmation and began to move. The two of them rode together for a long moment in pressing silence, Janeway so excruciatingly aware of her First Officer next to her, the alien quiet so heavy, that amazingly, she cracked under the pressure and spoke first.

"What…ah…exactly sparked this disagreement in Engineering, Commander?"

Chakotay glanced at her, hesitating before his dark eyes flickered back to the lift door. "Seven was making adjustments to a s system without telling B'Elanna what she was up to, Captain," he supplied.

"I see." Janeway pressed her lips together, falling silent again, listening to the throbbing cadence of the turbolift as it swept them past deck after deck.

One.

Two.

"Which system was Seven working on, exactly?

"The…power relays."

She nodded once in acknowledgment.

Three.

Four.

Five.

Janeway's head cocked slightly. "I thought the relays were adjusted."

Six.

Seven.

"Perhaps it was the imaging matrix, Captain."

But Harry had finished priming the imaging systems yesterday. And Janeway knew that for a fact, because in a short break between lunch and another Council meeting, she'd helped her Ensign run a final diagnostic; she'd welcomed the distraction, at the time.

" _Computer, halt turbolift!_ " she barked. The lift obediently came to an instant standstill as Janeway's hands balled into fists on her hips. She fixed her First Officer with a thoroughly filthy look. And waited.

Chakotay glanced out of the corner of his eye, then sighed, capitulating. "Well," he shrugged. "It almost worked." He'd counted on his Captain's underlying affection for both B'Elanna and Seven to get her out of her ready room, and he'd planned on telling her the truth – that Seven was nowhere near Engineering this morning – once they'd gotten further from the bridge. Subterfuge with Kathryn was an alien thought to him, but he hadn't been able to think of another way to extract her from her office, and he had no intention of initiating such an intensely personal conversation as the one he had planned with only a single door separating them fro the bridge and its crew.

"I don't appreciate this, Commander." Her tone was frosty. "At all."

"What a coincidence," he returned, matching the intense displeasure in her voice, turning to her, crossing his arms over his chest. "I didn't appreciate waking up alone this morning." He was unabashedly blunt, but she didn't even blink.

"I don't have to explain myself." With most men, that chill disclaimer would have been enough to end the conversation right there.

"You do today."

Her eyes widened for a heartbeat at his proprietary tone, then narrowed into blue slits.

" _I spent a night in your bed, and now you think I'm answerable to you?_ " she hissed venomously, and despite his physical superiority, Chakotay almost took a step back at the look in her eyes. A fleeting silence passed, a tense hum filling the space between them; Chakotay felt like he was back in the deserted corridor, trying to face her down.

"Kathryn, I'm sorry," he inclined his head, holding out his hands in surrender, conceding his mistake. "That came out horribly wrong." His black eyes held hers for a moment before he said, "I…just…want to talk to you. Come with me somewhere, so we can talk."

Unnerved by his quiet entreaty, unbalanced by the flash of vulnerability that had swept over his face, Janeway didn't answer him right away and another small silence enveloped the enclosed space of the lift. "No," she finally said. "I think the less said on the matter, the better." Her eyes dropped away from his.

"I disagree," he countered forcefully, suddenly afraid of the violence of his emotions. "I tried to put aside what happened. I've avoided you all morning, too, but last night…" He paused, trying to organize his thoughts in some sort of rational order when all he wanted to do was pull her into his arms. During the hours since his return to the ship, he'd mentally reviewed every conceivable argument against becoming involved with his Captain, but none of them amounted to anything weighty when compared to the memory of Kathryn, warm and supple, underneath him. "There's a part of me that wanted last night to happen for a long time. I don't expect you to say you feel the same way…but I don think you enjoyed being with me."

She winced at the low heat in his voice, wiped a tired hand over her eyes. It would have been ludicrous to deny his last statement, so she tried a different tack. "Chakotay, you're…a friend as well as my First Officer. I care about you, but we both know we _cannot_ become personally involved. Last night was the result of a horrible lapse of judgment on both our parts, it shouldn't – "

"Kathryn," he interrupted. "Please, I know the reasons why last night shouldn't have happened." He momentarily held his hands out, palms up. "Let's see if I've already thought of all of them. First and foremost, there's the fact that you're the Captain, I'm the First Officer, and what we did is against fourteen different Starfleet regulations."

"Seventeen," came the quiet revision.

"Seventeen," he amended dryly with a tilt of his head, then continued. "Next, there's our working relationship and our duty and responsibility to the crew as ethical considerations." She stayed silent, but nodded somberly.

"And then, of course, there's the crew themselves. A major problem, if someone were to find out about what happened – unless you secretly harbor a desire to have your private life discussed over every meal, drink or datapadd for the foreseeable future. Personally, I had my fill of that within a week of coming back on board after New Earth." When her brow creased in puzzlement, he gave a half-smile. "Rumor had us both inconsolable over leaving our Garden of Eden and coming back to the ship," he explained, and Janeway rolled her eyes humorlessly. "And finally…if the crew were to find out about last night, the next time I demonstrate support for a less than popular decision of yours, there'll be problems, because I'd be seen as endorsing my lover, not the Captain. Now, did I cover everything?" he asked.

She looked up, pursed her lips slightly before lifting a slender shoulder in acknowledgment of this thoroughness. "You only left out how public knowledge of last night would break Lieutenant Denni's heart." For the first time that morning, she gave a real, though tiny, smile as his surprised expression. "Rumor has it she's been in love with _Voyager_ 's First Officer for three years, now," she elaborated quietly.

"I didn't know."

"Well…you know now."

There was a studied pause.

"It doesn't matter," Chakotay told her. The lovely Risian from Astrophysics would have been devastated to hear his indifferent tone. Janeway bit her lip.

"But you do see how impossible any further…involvement…between us is?"

Another pause.

"I see how difficult it would be if the crew were to find out," he granted.

At his stubborn tone of voice, Janeway dropped her head into one hand. "Commander –"

"Kathryn, just listen to me. We've both been alone since the start of this journey and we're still fifty years from home. That's too long…" his voice dipped lower with emphasis, "way too long to be without something more than ship reports and duty rosters to keep us company in the off hours. Last night was impulsive, yes, but have you considered…" he took a deep breath. "The benefits of a discreet, no-strings attached relationship?"

After a moment of stunned silence, Janeway raised her head to stare at him. She blinked. Then swallowed.

"You're suggesting a…" she faltered, then forced herself to continue. "A…physical arrangement…between us?" She was so taken aback, it didn't even occur to her to be outraged.

Chakotay nodded once. He wanted her enough he was wiling to settle for half measures, whatever he could convince her to agree to.

Janeway looked at him in disbelief for another second, then crossed her arms over her chest and leaned a shoulder against the wall of the lift – because suddenly her legs were shaking and she desperately needed the support.

"Just how do you propose we go about having _that_ kind of relationship, Commander?" She appeared mortified, but Chakotay noticed she hadn't turned him down yet. He shrugged, deliberately misunderstanding her question.

"You make the rules. I'll come to you whenever you want."

She'd _never_ had a man offer himself to her so readily. So completely. Janeway's mouth dropped open, and she had to consciously order herself to close it. "And the rest of the time?"

He shrugged again and smiled. "The rest of the time, I'm your First Officer, the person who sits beside you on the bridge or at the other end of the table during staff meetings."

"Just another dedicated member of my crew," she murmured sardonically, shaking her head incredulously, her mind reeling at his impossible suggestion.

"We're both mature adults, and professional enough that it wouldn't affect how we work together. I'll still carry out your orders, be your sounding board, make sure you're looking at both sides of the issue…it won't change how I do my job. And I wouldn't touch you while we're on duty," he promised.

She shook her head again, silently, squeezing her eyes shut. He made it all sound so easy, made the unthinkable actually seem workable, feasible. Plausible. She steeled herself against her own mutinous thoughts.

"Why don't I meet you for lunch? Then I'll see what I can do to ease your concerns," he suggested, sounding for all the world that they'd be discussing a philosophical case for an additional hydroponics lab. She made the mistake of opening her eyes and meeting his gaze.

One second past. Then two…

"I can't, you can't," she pronounced emphatically, thrusting away from the wall of the lift, brushing past him as she tried to find a cooling distance within the limited confines of the turbolift. Chakotay's eyebrows shot up at her hurried action – and the color that was staining her cheeks, the rigidity of her body as she pushed by him. So, Kathryn Janeway wasn't as immune to him – or his suggestion – as she was pretending to be. He hid a galvanized smile, then turned to face her.

"Then maybe you're taking this too seriously. Last night doesn't have to be the only night… Who would it hurt if we enjoy each other's company, Kathryn?" he asked, his voice deliberately low, relentless, seductive. "This is a Starfleet ship, but Starfleet's fifty thousand light years away. This is a situation the Admiralty couldn't have predicted when they made those regulations, and they wouldn't expect you to sacrifice every measure of personal happiness while we make our way home. Not even Starfleet is that intolerable."

She threw him a desperate look. "Chakotay, the crew – "

"… _Wouldn't know._ " He moved closer with every beat. "Wouldn't know, don't know, will never know." He was only a hand's breadth away, now. "Anything else?" He cocked an eyebrow daringly.

"…Mark…?"

But even she knew she didn't sound convincing, and Chakotay shook his head, looking at her askance, his darkening gaze mildly amused. "That's not a good one." He knew without conceit that Mark Johnson hadn't even entered her mind last night.

Her blue eyes dropped away momentarily, searching, then she suddenly glanced back with a shadow of a grin.

"I have a headache?"

He blinked, then laughed aloud at her sudden injection of humor. "For the next fifty years? That's some headache."

"Tell me about it," she murmured dryly.

"Maybe I can help."

"Maybe you're the cause." Her words were frosted with frustration.

He smiled with easy grace. "Then I could _definitely_ help."

"You're going to definitely end up in the brig, Commander." The Captain's pips were finally showing.

Chakotay smiled teasingly. "Would you really throw me in the brig, Kathryn?"

She returned his smile with a light one of her own. "Do you really think I wouldn't?" But her voice trembled slightly at the end, because he'd moved nearer, closing the gap. "Don't," she said sharply, all humor gone.

He stopped, assessed the dangerous gleam in her eye, then smoothly took a step back.

"Chakotay, whatever happened last night, you know I can't – I won't agree to…what you're proposing now. The crew, how we conduct ourselves as their senior officers, and those Starfleet regulations you'd like to dismiss as outmoded in the Delta Quadrant _are_ considerations, despite your arguments to the contrary. And, to be honest, I don't see how a shallow, mercenary arrangement such as you're suggesting could benefit either one of us," she remonstrated. "Quite the opposite. In the long run, I think it would damage our friendship…" Her expression softened ever so slightly. "And I'm not willing to risk that, Chakotay."

"I'll always be your friend, Kathryn."

"Thank you," she said with sincerity and a hint of relief.

"But I could be more," he stated quietly, and the heat in his voice recalled all the impassioned attention he'd paid her last night.

A brief second passed while she considered it. Actually considered saying yes. Every cell in her body shouted, clamored, _screamed_ at her to do it. But hot on the heels of that urge came sanity.

"No," she told them both in a tone that was annihilating in its finality. "Computer, proceed to the nearest deck. This conversation is over, Commander," she added, her voice its most indisputable silk-over-steel. The Captain had spoken.

Chakotay said nothing as the lift sprang into motion, and for a short-lived moment, she felt as though she'd achieved the victory she'd been after. Reason and protocol would reign that day. But as the turbolift stopped and Chakotay stepped out, he paused and glanced over his shoulder at her.

And the look in his dark brown eyes left her wondering what she'd really won.

She fled back to her ready room and didn't leave it for the rest of the morning.

"Kathryn, wait, isn't this outfit lovely?" Tse-dira called out, pointing to the clothing in a nearby window, and Janeway squinted slightly against the bright sun, smiling gently.

"Yes, it is, Tse-dira, but I thought you said you were hungry?" she inquired, in an attempt to pull her hostess from her latest discovery. Janeway had agreed to keep her afternoon appointment with the young woman because she desperately needed an escape from her ready room; she'd spent the better part of five hours in oppressive solitude, staring out her window, lurching between self-recrimination about her reckless actions of last night, and pride for that morning's firm decision, made in the name of all that was sensible and sane…which wretchedly threatened to seem the larger madness whenever her traitorous mind replayed soft words, heated touches, or Chakotay's amazing proposal.

She'd been desperate for a reason – _any_ reason – to leave the ship, and the pre-arranged shopping tour with Bra-zei's young partner was the perfect excuse. Well known by the merchants whose numerous boutiques, retail stores, and shops they had visited, the mere sight of Tse-dira had been cause for a mind-numbing array of merchandise and wares to be paraded out of every shadowed corner and storeroom, and Janeway had quickly been able to lose herself in the decadent show. But by now, she and even the contingent of strapping bodyguards who were assigned as their escorts were beginning to weary at the brisk pace; it was time for lunch. As Tse-dira abandoned the storefront, Janeway caught the relieved look on the faces of the two hulking young men.

"I'm so glad you came this afternoon, Kathryn," Tse-dira crowed sweetly when she'd caught up once again, linking arms with her guest. "Bra-zei hardly ever shops with me, she just orders things from catalogues…and most of the time, her secretary picks the items!"

"I imagine she's usually very busy." Janeway answered the affectionate younger woman, surprising herself by not withdrawing her arm. After years as a Starfleet Captain, she was habitually very reserved in public – even her former tendency to touch an arm or a shoulder in encouragement had dwindled – but Tse-dira's grin and lighthearted voice still inspired memories of Phoebe, and Janeway found she submitted to Tse-dira's affectionate pettings and loose embraces as if by reflex. Her instincts, it seemed, had as many problems differentiating between her sister and this woman as her eyes did.

Chattering brightly, Tse-dira pointed out more shops of possible interest as the small group made its way through the sunny, bustling shopping district to the fashionable restaurant she had suggested earlier. Unfortunately, despite the fact it was mid-afternoon, when they arrived there was a mass of people lining the outside of the brasserie, waiting for tables. Janeway eyed the crowd and shrugged.

"Perhaps there's somewhere else," she suggested, but Tse-dira's beautiful face was stricken.

"I wanted to treat you to some good _mouza_ , Kathryn," she pouted, referring to the sweet pastry she had promised her guest. "Senei's is the best in the city. Simply the best."

"I'm sure I'll get by, somehow," Janeway replied consolingly, but Tse-dira shook her head.

"No, no! Let me speak to the host – "

"No, Tse-dira!" But the Kuritan equivalent of royalty obviously wasn't deterred by something as trivial as a line-up, because Tse-dira blithely ignored Janeway's protest and swept past the throng of waiting people, disappearing into the building with one of their armed male escorts close on her heels. The other guard, a brawny fellow who would have appeared large next to a Klingon, remained outside, conspicuously close to Janeway. She sighed in chagrin, smiling apologetically to the trio at the front of the line, noting with some embarrassed amusement that after several glances towards her silent, towering bodyguard, no one dared make any overt comments about having their position in the queue usurped.

But within two minutes, the restaurant owner himself hurried outside to usher Janeway and the remaining guard past the line-up. Space, it seemed, had miraculously become available. Janeway and Tse-dira were swiftly established inside the main gallery of the large, high-ceilinged restaurant, their small table in between two large, laughing groups, the two bodyguards seated at a tiny nook a short distance away. Tse-dira declined menus, offering to order for all of them, and their host nodded approvingly while she requested some substantial entrees for the guards, lighter meals and the prized _mouza_ for herself and her companion. The first of the food arrived in a shockingly brief time, and Janeway wondered as she picked up her fork if all the chefs had been pulled from servicing other orders, just so she and Tse-dira didn't have to wait an aching five minutes for their meals. But she was hungry enough she decided she wasn't going to feel guilty.

As she and Tse-dira settled in to enjoy their lunches, around them, numerous heads in the trendy eatery turned as people stole a peek at the two of them. The Kuritan media had reported on the arrival of _Voyager_ several days ago, and even if Tse-dira Peido was a common enough sight in the district, those dining at Senai's that afternoon reveled in the unique opportunity of observing not only their leader's pretty young partner out for a meal, but the hitherto unseen female Captain of the strange starship _Voyager_ as well! Fingers pointed politely, chins lifted, necks stretched as the trendy patrons all did their best to catch a glimpse of the other-worldly visitor. The delighted restaurant owner – who had practically thrown out two other customers to clear the table, indifferent to the irate protests of the city's most prominent surgeon and his supposed niece – stood by the kitchen door to survey his customers' reactions, rubbing his hands together while he calculated the likely surge in clientele while _Voyager_ remained in orbit.

For her part, Tse-dira took no notice of the ever-changing eyes upon her, and Janeway, well accustomed by her captain's rank to a certain amount of ogling wherever she went, easily shut out the stares, too; she'd been front and center at too many of Neelix's parties and Harry's musical soirees to feel self-conscious. But her practiced indifference only served to heighten the crowd's poorly shrouded interest as other diners avidly assessed her every move and feature. When Janeway looked up from her plate at something Tse-dira said, several Kuritans turned to nudge each other and express appreciation for the exotic, spotless skin of the human woman; when she lifted her fallen pony tail and pushed it back behind her shoulder in a casual gesture, no less than a dozen short-haired Kuritan women resolved to grow their hair to that smooth, precise length and catch it back at the nape of their neck. Black with bold accents of red suddenly became _the_ fashionable colors that spring afternoon in Senai's, and when a bubbling laugh fro Tse-dira made Janeway's mouth curve in an unguarded smile, half the males in the restaurant sat up with a jolt.

One man, however, did not elbow a fellow eater or murmur under his breath about the formerly undervalued virtues of women, who, having passed through the youthful flush of mere prettiness, evolved into attractive, refined and intriguingly self-possessed creatures such as the foreign Captain. His hard eyes dispassionately assessed both females seated three tables down, then his handsome face split into a cold, calculating smile as he rose from his solitary meal and approached the two who were the unrelenting focus of the entire gallery.

Tse-dira's bright chatter stopped in mid-sentence, her brilliant smile vanishing off her face in the space of an instant. Janeway looked up in surprise, her fork halfway to her lips, then glanced back over her shoulder, wondering what had caused the change. Her own face immediately transformed into an icy mask as Rine N'tim came to stand directly beside their table.

"Captain Janeway, Mistress Peido. A pleasant surprise, finding you in the city," he gibed, as Tse-dira swallowed anxiously. "Captain, we haven't met again since the night of the Principal's party. I see you're in uniform – a pity, considering how lovely you looked in your festive attire."

Janeway's fork came back to her plate with a ringing clang that brought the two watchful bodyguards to instant alertness..

"What do you want?" she asked coldly.

N'tim's chuckle denied his own chill gaze. "Just to bid you hello, Captain."

"And now you have. Don't let me keep you from your meal."

"Minister N'tim, please step away from the Captain." One of the security escorts, the guard who had stood outside with her, materialized at N'tim's side, but the man's well-bred demeanor didn't falter at the veiled order.

"Be still, sir…I'm merely talking to our illustrious visitor," he waved at the guard, but his eyes were rapacious as he continued to consider Janeway. He spoke without a care to placating the edgy security officer. There was no need. It was a stalemate; unless he threatened either woman, N'tim was too important for anyone to intervene more directly. The guard turned a helpless look on Janeway as N'tim spoke again. "Perhaps, Captain, you'd care to join me at my table? There remain some outstanding negotiable issues that I'm sure we could discuss…and we needn't bore Mistress Peido with our talk of business."

The words were bland enough, but then N'tim's eyes dropped below her face, and it was as if he'd lewdly touched her in front of everyone. Janeway clenched her fist, fighting first the urge to throw up, then barely strangling the impulse to pick up her knife and stab it into the hand that rested on the back of her chair. The man was offensive to her every sense. Standing up abruptly – she was unwilling to continue this encounter with N'tim advantageously hovering over her – her blue eyes drilled into him.

"Minister N'tim, I am not interested in speaking to you. Alone or otherwise." Her clipped, precise tone carried throughout the entire hushed restaurant. "I trust I've made myself appropriately clear?"

N'tim smiled, uncowed. "Your rancor surprises me…Kathryn."

" _Captain_ ," she corrected him in a glacial voice that would have terrorized any member of her crew and petrified a nearby waiter. "I have never given you permission to use my name. And if my manner is offensive, I suggest you stop trying to draw me into private conversation."

"But I've so enjoyed our conversations, Captain."

"Really. I've found them puerile."

"Ah, but our talk in the garden – "

" _Especially_ that one." Janeway snapped with morbid finality. "Excuse me, I'll be getting back to me meal. Goodbye, Minister N'tim." And with that, she imperiously turned her back on him to sit down, pick up her fork, and start eating again, completely indifferent to his continued presence. The guard – hiding a grin at Janeway's swift and haughty dismissal of the infamous High Minister of Commerce – cleared his throat, his attitude one of polite but undeniable expectation. The furious Kuritan politician dared ignore the guard a moment longer, glaring impotently at the back of Janeway's head before he scowled at the other man, turned on his heel and walked back to his own table. Scores of eyes silently tracked his retreat, while dozens more rabidly observed Janeway's calm spearing of her salad greens. When N'tim huffily seated himself in his recently abandoned chair, a buzz of amazed conjecture erupted with such force from the panting crowd that Janeway paused, eyes still trained on her plate, wondering if N'tim had made some horribly obscene gesture behind her back or had exposed some indelicate part of his anatomy, such was the volume of the noise.

Over the next ten minutes, the throb of heated conversation slowly died down, as the collective inhabitants of the restaurant left off their discussions and contented themselves with observing the two newly acknowledged enemies, separated by a mere four meters, coolly finish their meals. Neither looked in the other's direction, but the feeling in the air was unmistakable.

War had most definitely been declared.

Much later that day, N'tim was obliged to return to the crowded shopping quarter, this time ducking into a less trendy but equally packed bistro located on the fringe of the district. Surveying the bustling room, he finally spotted the individual who had called their hasty meeting. Stalking over, he sat down heavily in the vacant chair opposite the well-dressed younger man.

"You'd better have a good reason for this," N'tim announced coldly, waving a server away.

The youthful summoner fidgeted under his glare. "I do. I thought you should know, Tekai's sounding like she'll form an investigative Council to find out why you didn't have everything _Voyager_ needed."

N'tim pursed his lips, glancing around the crowded café, carefully considering this unwelcome piece of news. "I'll alter the resource consumption and goods output files further," he announced after a moment. "You just do your part, and keep communications between my customers and me flowing."

"Your creative inventory records weren't creative enough to pass first inspection," his companion hissed nervously.

"Then I'll pay an expert to revise them."

"It's too late. Tekai is already suspicious. It's merely a matter of days before the investigation begins." Only last year, Bra-zei Tekai's zealous inquiry into immigration file mismanagement had led to the discovery of a slavery ring operating out of a small, unremarkable government agency in a northern province. The flesh peddlers had specialized in young girls; Tekai had personally signed all three execution orders. "Maybe you should save your money for your court advocate fees. Me, I'm considering taking leave and booking passage off-word. _Very_ off-world."

"No need for flight just yet, my young friend," N'tim cautioned. "Tekai's still in the dark."

"Not for long," came the knowing reply.

N'tim weighed the options. There were few, considering the highly illegitimate activities he'd been engaged in over the past three years, but still…sometimes the clearest path was the obvious choice.

"Tekai could be diverted."

"Why would she turn away from this? She'll want answers."

"Oh, I can think of something that would…distract…her."

Gamma shift. The ship was quiet, the bulk of its crew at rest or recently released from duty. The mess hall was empty, most people choosing to eat a late meal in their quarters; only one holodeck was in use, and _Voyager_ 's wide corridors were unpopulated save for the odd tardy ensign, hurrying through the deserted hallways to reach their post before their Beta shift counterpart paged them to Engineering or Astrophysics.

Janeway lay curled on the couch in her living room, restless and unable to sleep. Surprisingly, N'tim and their unpleasant encounter wasn't the cause fro her uneasiness; she'd put the politician and his attempts to intimidate her out of her mind the instant she'd arrived back on the ship mid-way through Beta shift. But alone in her quarters, with the ship quiet and restive around her, the memories of last night – when she had _not_ been so alone – were slipping constantly past her defenses, intruding on her solitude and playing havoc with her emotions. She'd tried working, to distract herself…but the discarded pads and inactive computer on the low table in front of her were mute testimony to that failed venture. She'd read the same line of a Vulcan dissertation eight times before she'd abandoned it, and, in desperation, threw away a portion of her replicator rations on genuine brandy, hoping to anesthetize some of the emotional tumult. Unfortunately, the unfamiliar alcohol warming her stomach only served to intensify her unsettled feelings, and she sat tightly balled on her couch in an unlit living room, gazing blindly out the thick window at the sleeping planet below, body tight with tension, fighting a losing battle with herself.

Clenching her jaw, she lowered her head to the cushion, her eyes dropping shut as pieces of the previous night rose to the surface of her consciousness. Fragments of things. Chakotay's eyes, black fro desire; the long slope of his back, the fluid motion of muscle under his skin. The sound of his voice, throaty with passion. The taste of his mouth. The strength of his hands, the feel of _him_ – hard against her belly before he'd lifted her, pressing hot against her thigh…

Shuddering with and ill-repressed spasm, she left her couch, pacing the living room like a caged tiger, rubbing the back of her neck with one hand, wondering even as she cursed herself if he was in his quarters now, if he was tired, if he was sleeping, if he was still awake…knowing that such speculation was absolute insanity but the rebellious part of her growing stronger with each passing moment. As she moved disjointedly around her quarters, her sense of deprivation deepened, and it was his words from this morning – not hers – that rang through her head.

_The crew wouldn't know…would never know._

_I'll come to you. Whenever you want._

_Your rules._

_Who would it hurt?_

Certainly not Mark, came the unbidden thought. She stopped her pacing. It had been so long…he'd have moved on by now. She felt a twinge at the thought, but her pragmatic side acknowledged that while Mark Johnson was a wonderful, faithful man, he was too much his own person to keep to the fading memory of a lover, missing and presumed dead, her real fate lost to the stars four long years ago. No, he wasn't waiting for her anymore.

_The crew wouldn't know._

_Wouldn't know._

She was thinking the unthinkable as she touched the objects scattered about the sparse, formal living room, hoping they could ground her, keep her to the path of reason. But it was a conspiracy. O her desk beside her framed Academy graduate certificate sat the smooth, glossy stone, taken from the river on New Earth – she spun away, but the couch and its low work table was no refuge. Alongside her computer, the creamy Orsini rose Chakotay had surprised her with three days ago sat in a slender glass cylinder, its heavy petals open lush and wide. And on a shelf of the recessed bookcase, in a place of honor, the small intricate stone carving he'd given her in honor of Prixin, the Talaxian celebration of family, just a month or so ago…

With a groan, she turned her back to the whole room, pressing her heated forehead against the cold, hard door frame separating her bedroom from the rest of her quarters, her fingers clenching the edges of the bulkhead, hanging on with all her might.

Despite the fact that he'd rested very little the previous night, sleep had proven elusive, so Chakotay had given up and was going over departmental reports on the customization of Kuritan replacement parts for the ship's various systems, looking for potential problems. When the soft tone of the door chime sounded, he was surprised – it was nearly midnight – but paused his computer on the screen he was reading and answered the door. Then took a step back.

Kathryn stood in his doorway, her hair loose, in civilian clothing, with her back squarely to the corridor and arms stiffly crossed over her chest.

"Captain." He didn't bother to temper the wonder in his voice.

"May I…" she faltered, surprising him, before she audibly cleared her throat and tried again. "May I come in, Commander?

He stood back in silent assent and she entered his private quarters, glancing over her shoulder to check the hallway for chance observers before the door slid shut. It had become a natural gesture for both of them, over the past four years. A female captain, a male first officer. A private meeting, a small ship. It went without saying that discretion was part of how they did things.

"Is there a problem, Captain?" he inquired.

"No. At least, not one that I know of," she replied, glancing at him, her voice strangely husky. I haven't spoken to the Bridge. This isn't a business call."

The quiet statement shouldn't have prompted such a powerful response in him, but he was abruptly aware of his heart thudding heavily in his chest.

"I see," he said, then forced himself to quiet, waiting. She shifted in place, took a deep breath, looking vaguely uncomfortable, her eyes searching his face…

"I've changed my mind about your offer," she said abruptly.

An absolute silence fell in the small living room, even the hum of the ship's engines sounding hushed, as if the sudden words had muffled _Voyager_ 's propulsion while she glided along in her orbiting course. Chakotay stood motionless for a very, very long time before he finally found his voice again.

"Kathryn, you were clear about your reasons for saying no this morning." His words were low pitched, his eyes cool and measuring. "What happened to change your mind?"

She dropped his gaze for a second. "This morning I hadn't thought how to completely resolve the issues."

"And, now you have?" he asked plainly, his skepticism clear.

Janeway hesitated, then nodded slowly, ignoring her suddenly cold hands, the painful pitch of her heart, the tiny voice screaming about the insanity of what she was doing.

Chakotay didn't say anything. Instead, he slowly reached out a hand to skim the line of her cheek, sliding his fingers down past her jaw – they were both shocked to realize his fingers were trembling. His hand slipped forward, stroking down her throat then back up to gently grasp her chin, lifting her face higher so he could clearly examine her eyes, reading her thoughts as easily as if she'd spoken them out loud.

"No, you haven't," he pronounced a moment later.

"Yes, I have," she repeated.

"You're a very bad liar, Kathryn." That wasn't true. She was an expert at bluffing her way through things. They all might not be alive is she wasn't so skilled at putting up a good front. But this was different. This was personal, she was going against her principles. And it showed. To him, anyway. He sighed heavily. At first, he hadn't cared about her lingering prohibitions, he'd been too awash with the thrill that she was agreeing to his proposal, but now – "You haven't thought this through."

She raised an eyebrow. "If you've had second thoughts, Commander, just tell me."

"I haven't had second thoughts. But you're doing something every instinct is telling you not to," he paused, and found he wasn't capable of true honor. He wanted her too much. Ignoring the ethical part of his brain that argued he should be gently suggesting she leave, he said, "Let's talk about it."

"No," she shook her head, her feelings impossible to describe. The hours of longing, the torturous walk to his quarters through the ship's corridors, a hundred qualms shoved aside, a thousand arguments ruthlessly silenced…

"Kathryn, I don't want you to have regrets."

"Chakotay…I don't need to talk about it."

"I think we should," he repeated. He could at least hold firm to that.

She briefly considered his immovable expression, thinking of and discarding several replies before settling on the one that was most likely to win out over his determined stand.

She lifted her fingers to the top closure of her shirt and began to undo it.

One by one, the fastenings fell open. When she'd finished with the last one, she tugged the shirt free of the waistband of her pants, slid it from her shoulders, down her arms, until it slipped over her fingers and fluttered to the floor. Bare to the waist, her breasts were curved and full above the lean sight of her flat stomach, her slender hips. Chakotay held himself tightly leashed, resisting the urge to touch her, watching her nipples pucker and tighten until they were hard pink pebbles. His darkening eyes took in the sight of her for several moments before slowly lifting to meet her steady blue ones.

"Kathryn Janeway," Chakotay murmured an hour or so later, as they lay on their backs, stretched out on his bed in lazy sprawls, their hands entwined, nude bodies still flushed from their amorous play. "You are a very persuasive woman."

Kathryn tentatively considered his languid tone. Chakotay didn't happily suffer manipulation, no matter how enticing the form it was presented in. She'd worried, as they drifted back to themselves, that he'd express resentment for her rather heavy-handed method of ending their earlier debate. "I hope that isn't a complaint," she murmured back, testing the waters.

"Definitely not. I have a new found appreciation for your…negotiating skills."

She wasn't sure if she was meant to laugh at that, so she chose prudence over humor. She shifted slightly, the smooth, soft bedsheet beneath her abruptly turning cold and rough. She released his hand, started to rise.

"I should go – "

His hand came down on her arm.

"Stay."

She hesitated, glancing at him. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

He still hadn't actually looked at her. She studied him until he turned brooding eyes away from the wall he was staring a hole through, meeting her gaze for a long moment…and then he smiled widely.

"Unless _you_ have a complaint?" His dark eyebrows rose and a short, dry laugh broke from her.

"Hardly." Despite the way things had begun, he'd been – as before – an adept and generous lover. She didn't even try to understand the potent sexual chemistry that existed between them. It was so new, so different, she didn't have an adequate frame of reference. Justin Tighe was a distant memory, Mark a much-reduced shadow. Chakotay was…well…mind-shattering. Literally.

She said nothing more, just watched his face out of blue, momentarily clouded eyes, wondering for a fleeting moment what form of insanity had overtaken her tonight in her lonely quarters, wondering now that she'd flung herself into this mad, reckless arrangement with Chakotay if she'd ever be able to end things when necessity or common sense finally demanded it of her…

"What are you thinking?"

She closed her eyes, and shook her head. "Nothing. Just…maybe…I should go." She rolled into a sitting position, and this time, Chakotay didn't move to stop her. He remained where he was, but looked up at her.

"Why?"

She smiled and tried humor. "Has it occurred to you, Commander, that you can be very exhausting?"

"You can sleep right now."

"I doubt I could get any rest," she countered, dropping her eyes and letting them wander over the thrillingly familiar man lying beside her wearing nothing more than a tattoo and a corner of a bedsheet.

"I wouldn't touch you, I promise," he pledged in return.

"I don't think I can make you the same promise."

His smile was beautiful and only for her. "I wouldn't protest."

She fell back onto her side, helplessly shaking her head at the inviting look on his face. "Don't we both need to get some sleep tonight?" she asked, her smile helping to soften the scold. Where the hell did he get his energy? It was well past 1:00am, ship's time, less than six hours to the start of Alpha shift, and she had a morning meeting that her assuredly sleepy presence was required at.

"I have a better idea…" Chakotay murmured, offering neither platitudes or apologies for his need. Perhaps it was the time – or rather, lack of it. Even though Kathryn had surprised him tonight, he didn't know when they'd be together next. And there was the fear that tomorrow or the day after, she'd recant everything and demand they return to their previous way of life. He was like a man remembering famine. He wanted to touch her, taste her, feel her, in his hands, over and under him, around him. Now, for as long as he could. Before she left.

A strong, heavy hand slipped under her chin and around the nape of her neck, exerting a steady pressure, slowly pulling her down to him, pressing her face nearer to his. She resisted for all of a millisecond, then let him move her closer until she was half-reclined over him, one hand resting on the pillow near his head, one leg twining itself between his. He raised his head and closed on her mouth, urging her lips apart, sliding his tongue past hers to lick the roof of her mouth in a flickering, possessive caress. After a moment, she joined in the suddenly hungry kiss, her tongue mating flagrantly with his, returning each heated stroke with one of her own.

Slipping fingers between their loosely pressed bodies, he squeezed and stroked a sensitive nipple, massaging and teasing it to a tight peak. She raised her face, her murmur of pleasure quickly lost in the hovering quiet of his bedroom. Sliding his mouth across her chin, he pressed his lips into her throat and began whispering what he wanted to do to her, his voice low and enticingly male, the words burningly erotic, explicit…

"What if I say no," she breathed, pressing trembling fingers against his mouth to stop the flow of hotly arousing words. He softly bit at them, capturing one in his teeth, holding her finger for a moment in a primitive gesture of ownership before releasing it.

"You're not allowed to," he told her, the faint edge in his voice the first hint that this might be his revenge for her machinations earlier.

"I could if I wanted to," she whispered instantly, imperiously.

"Do you want to, Kathryn?" His hand left her upper body and drifted down between them, touching her thigh, then delicately trailing inwards – and her entire body seized with the staggering jolt of sensation.

"Do you?" he repeated archly.

She inhaled tightly, stunned for a moment at the flames exploding in her belly. He only had to kiss her, whisper to her, touch her – and she desperately wanted him again. Her forehead dropped to his shoulder as a finer easily slipped into her heat, her body still slick from their earlier lovemaking. A moment later, a second one followed. She felt his penetration, slow and smooth, and moaned low in her throat, clenching her muscles at the spasm of pleasure.

"Do you lie that?" His voice was low and wicked.

"You know I do…" she whispered back, on fire. She shuddered when he pressed the heel of his hand against her, massaging her until her hips pushed helplessly back. He kissed her hard while his fingers pressed tightly against her flesh. Then he drew back.

"So tell me."

She pulled heavy eyes open to gaze into his, only a fraction of an inch away. "Say it," he commanded. "Tell me what it is you like." The hand pressed between her thighs stilled, and he waited, authority blazing in his eyes.

"Chakotay…"

"It's my turn, Kathryn." His meaning was clear. There was a debt to be settled.

She buried her face in his neck. "I like…that."

"You like it when I touch you?"

"Yes," she whispered, too aroused to blush.

" _There_?" His fingers moved once, deliberately. She almost collapsed on top of him.

"Yes… _yes_ …!" She raised up to give him her mouth, but his hand left off its intimate exploration so he could urge her nonresistant onto her back. He rolled to his knees and moved between her legs, pressing her thighs wider apart with his palms. She shifted restlessly, curving her hips. Deliberately ignoring that unambiguous signal, he stroked the soft skin of her inner thighs, spreading her legs, sliding the length of the bed, dipping his head to trail hot, tortuous, open mouth kisses over her belly along the way. When she felt his fingers touch her heated center, stroke her open, she bit her bottom lip, pressing her head back into the pillow, and Chakotay glanced up, smiling tightly before lowering his mouth to her, and lightly touched her for the first time with his tongue. She arched against the flickering pleasure, shuddered, melted as his fingers joined the play.

He was single-minded and relentless, running his hands up and down her thighs, using his mouth and fingers in a thousand wicked ways, deliberately rousing her until she shook, taking her to the brink several times and then, torturously letting his mouth slip along her thigh, his fingers slid away.

"No…no more…" she finally begged. He ignored her, continuing his erotic torture. "Chakotay...!" Her fingers closed on his shoulders but he stopped only long enough to pull them away.

Minutes later, when she was scarcely able to breathe, balanced quivering on the edge of the most intense orgasm of her life, he abruptly rose up between her thighs to drive himself into her, hard, harsh, intent. She came immediately, with a small, suffocated scream, her eyes shut, throat arched, her fingernails cutting into his arms and Chakotay thrust harder, faster, again, again, driving her climax on, Kathryn's shuddering cries filled the room as her inner muscles pulsed around him. His large body flexing solidly against her, his thighs forcing hers further apart stroke by stroke, he took her with a rawness that echoed their very first encounter and met her second coming with a cataclysmic release of his own, a splintering dissolution that tore the breath from his body and stopped his heart in his chest.

"No…more…" Kathryn whispered weakly a long minute later, when the world had stopped spinning, and he lifted his head from her shoulder, opening his eyes, awareness flooding back in that instant. Immediately, he rolled off her, out of her arms, lifting a hand to gently stroke her flushed face.

"Ssh, it's all right," he murmured in half-apology. "Go to sleep…" He levered himself onto one elbow so he could reach the rumpled bedsheet, drawing it over their cooling bodies. She was asleep before he lay down again.

Chakotay woke first the next morning, a tired languor permeating his body, his lashes slowly lifting as he drew in an indolent breath, frowning at a curious weight across his chest…

Then he broke into a smile.

Kathryn was still curled against him.

Blinking the tiredness from his eyes, he glanced at the chronometer, noting it was less than two hours before Gamma shift ended; the ship and its crew would be coming to life again soon. Returning his attention to the woman sleeping in the curve of his arm, her head tucked against his shoulder, he sighed reluctantly before stroking the slender hand curled over his heart, turning his head into the silk of her hair.

"Kathryn…Kathryn…it's time to wake up."

She came awake with a start, her fingers jerking reflexively.

"What time is it?" she asked blearily, lifting her head a fraction.

"0620."

It took only a moment for the information to sink in. "I have to go." She started to sit up.

His hand came down on her arm. "Not _quite_ yet, you don't," he grinned, his own voice still raspy. "Let me make some coffee…and get you your clothes. Stay here," he commanded.

She obeyed, withdrawing her arm as he rolled out of bed, turning on her side to watch him go, feeling a shiver or two in the comfortable temperature of the room as her body reacted to the loss of his close heat. Curled amongst pillows and blankets that smelled faintly of him, she stole another minute of rest, drowsing while her ears tracked the padding sound of his bare feet, the subdued clink of porcelain.

When he returned, she forced her eyes open, drew in a breath and took her clothes from him, making herself leave her soft nest. Chakotay had slipped on his pants and shirt while in the other room, so after putting a steaming coffee mug down on the small side table, he seated himself on the bed while she dressed. She glanced at him occasionally, but found she was unbothered by his silent watching. Even though she felt his eyes on her constantly, there was nothing lascivious about it.

"That coffee smells good."

"There's a small pot, in case you want more."

She lifted her eyebrows in appreciation of his extravagance. "I owe you some replicator rations, then." She promised as she ran a hand under her shirt collar to adjust it and pull her hair free.

He half-smiled. "Don't worry about it."

She finished dressing, and they moved out into his living room, hesitating just outside the bedroom. For an instant they stood there, their eyes holding.

"Would you like some breakfast?" Chakotay asked, unwilling to let her escape just yet.

She paused, then shook her head. "There's not enough time," she said quietly, but she did stay to drink her coffee with him. Seated facing each other on his couch, they talked first about some inconsequential things – Neelix's latest imaginative menu items, the proposed hoverball tournament – careful to keep the conversation light; only when the coffee was nearly gone did they stray into more serious things, when Kathryn gave him a highly edited account of her run-in with Rine N'tim at the restaurant the previous day.

'Maybe a security escort is in order," Chakotay suggested, frowning at this bit of news. First the Principal's party, then the restaurant. N'tim was obviously seeking her out for these encounters.

"Tse-dira and I _had_ an escort," she pointed out, her blue eyes looking at him over the rim of her mug. "And he left us alone, after a minute.

"After you dressed him down?" Chakotay inquired knowingly. She didn't answer, but her hooded expression made him smile.

Finally, she forced herself to getup and move in the direction of the door, before Gamma shift ended and someone started looking for one of them…or worse, _both_ of them.

"Thank you for the coffee," she said quietly. They were standing very close, just in front of the door, their fingers entwined; Chakotay had taken her hand as they'd left the couch.

"You're welcome," he murmured. "I hope your meeting with Tekai goes well.

She nodded, avoiding his eyes for the moment. "So do I," she responded. "I'm transporting to the surface at 0730, but I'll check back with you at 1000. Hopefully, I'll have B'Elanna's spare resonator coils for her by then." They were relatively inexpensive pieces of equipment, but thus far, the Kuritan Minister of Commerce had appeared reluctant to tap his sources for them. Janeway suspected N"tim's reticence had more to do with her, rather than any pressing Kuritan need for engine parts, but she hadn't voiced that opinion out loud to anyone. It didn't matter. She felt sure Bra-zei would help to finally procure the items. "I'll be in meetings, but if there's something important, Bra-zei doesn't mind interruptions."

Her voice was already different, her mind speeding over the day ahead. Chakotay acknowledged her statement with a single nod, expertly hiding the momentary twinge her seamless shift into command mode had caused.

"All right," he said, as her fingers loosened on his, threatening to slip away. He relaxed his own hand, then changed his mind, suddenly gripping hers tightly. "When can I see you again?"

At his reckless infraction of the unspoken rules, her hand jerked, but her face remained calm, her eyes trained on his shirt collar.

"I don't know." She swallowed, a faint flush coloring her cheeks.

"I shouldn't have said that. Forget I asked." She said nothing, just nodded once. 'Have a good morning…Captain," he added as her hand dropped away.

"Yes…" she threw him one last glance. "You, too, Commander."

And with that, she was gone.

The changeover to Alpha shift occurred without event, the senior crew relieving their Gamma shift counterparts, the Captain's empty command chair the only thing slightly out of order. But that wasn't an entirely rare occurrence, Chakotay was there in her stead, and so the activity on the bridge rolled on smoothly in her temporary absence.

There was the usual amount of small talk between routine helm control diagnostics or checks on the structural integrity field, with Paris teasing Harry about one thing or another, while the ensign frowned affably, and occasionally attempted a wry rejoinder. Janeway had never been one of those captains who enforced a stony silence on her bridge,, and no one was spared from Paris's good-natured barbs. Eventually, the cocky blond pilot got around to needling the First Officer about looking tired; Chakotay said nothing, his eyes lifting from his computer screen just the once, and the younger man lifted his eyebrows in mock alarm and swiftly moved to another target.

Chakotay hid a smile.

It was all so unremarkable and ordinary that the call, when it came, was like a bolt of lightning out of blue sky. Harry stared at his Ops screen for a fraction of a second, taken aback at the priority code, the highest one he'd been told to expect from the Kuritans – and the edge in his voice was clear as he spoke up briskly.

"Commander, priority alpha message fro Kurita. It's red-flagged, _extremely_ urgent, from the Residence."

Chakotay looked up, frowning, then pushed out of his chair, rising quickly to his feet. "On screen," he ordered. N'var – not Tekai – appeared on the bridge's large, flat view screen an instant later.

"Commander Chakotay," the gravelly voiced Kuritan acknowledged the First Officer before his eyes flickered slightly in Tuvok's direction.

"Minister N'var," Chakotay greeted the man with a brisk nod. "Your call was urgent. Is there a problem?"

"Yes. With your Captain," the Kuritan security minister answered plainly. "We believe she's been abducted along with Tse-dira Peido."

There was a moment of stunned silence, in which all on the bridge saw it was possible for tan skin to blanch.

"When?" The single word lashed out.

"Don't know for certain – "

"Harry!" Chakotay snapped a look towards Ops, where Harry's hands were already flying over his console.

"I've got her comm badge signal, Commander," he supplied immediately, the edge in his voice even more pronounced. It's …in the Residence…" He raised puzzled eyes to the screen.

" _I_ have her badge, Commlander," N'var offered, holding up a god and silver object for all to see. "We found it in some broken glass. The abductors obviously stopped her from calling for help."

Chakotay didn't answer. Couldn't answer, for that brief second.

"Correct, Minister," Tuvok replied, stepping instantly into the breach left by his strangely silent superior. '"We received no call for assistance. Do you know the motive for the kidnappings?"

"There's been no communication yet, but Tse-dira Peido is the spouse of the Kuritan world leader. I'm sure we'll be receiving a communication soon."

"How is it they were able to abduct Captain Janeway as well as Tse-dira Peido?" Chakotay demanded, forcing himself to stay calm, clear. "From a compound that is _supposed_ to be secure?"

The battle-scarred Kuritan had the good grace to look vaguely ashamed. "We don't know how they infiltrated the Residence,' he admitted, then continued, anticipating the coldly furious man's next question. "And as for why they took your Captain…an unfortunate twist of fate, most likely. The Principal's meeting with Captain Janeway ended early, and it appears your Captain was visiting Peido in her art studio – it's a small building, located within the walls of the Residence but still half a kilometer from the main structure. It's where the women were last seen."

"And you're sure it was a kidnapping?" Chakotay challenged, even as he mentally acknowledged what he and the entire bridge understood as indisputable fact. Kathryn Janeway would never have removed the comm badge that was her link to her ship, her crew. It would've had to have been ripped from her.

"We found nothing to suggest either of them is dead," N'var responded bluntly. "And we have something of both women. IT doesn't match any pattern of kidnapping in our data files, it can't be anything but a signal fro the people who took Peido and Janeway that they're still alive."

Something of the women. Not something that _belonged_ to either woman. There was a horrified pause as N'var's precise words sank in, penetrated. _Of_ the women. Slowly, all eyes turned on Chakotay. The First Officer was completely white underneath his tan coloring, but his eyes focused unerringly on the viewscreen.

"What did you find?" His voice was cold, flat. Deadly. Paris glanced back at the screen, his own face ashen. Over at Ops, Harry closed his eyes briefly.

N'var glanced down, picked something up off a table in front of him, then held it up as he had the comm badge. A golden brown pony tail, still held together with an easily recognized clasp. The smooth length turned ragged just above the edge of the brushed metal clip, as though the tightly gathered hair had been sliced off with a serrated blade. Which, clearly it had.

"We have another one. A genetic scan confirmed it's Peido's. I can send this one to our ship," he hefted the thick cluster of brown hair in his hand.

"Send it directly to our doctor. Tuvok and I are beaming down immediately. Chakotay out."

* * *

 

 

**Note** : This concludes the Deb O'Keeffe's unfinished story. The next chapter is mine. Thanks again goes to Deb O'Keeffe for the excellent story above. 


	2. Arming Me From Fear by pook

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is my ending to the original unfinished story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: I took up a challenge in VAMB to complete an unfinished story called ‘A Coward’s Soul’ written by D.J. O’Keeffe (the first chapter of this story). I would like to thank D.J. O’Keeffe wherever you are for creating a wonderful story.
> 
> This is in response to a VAMB challenge to complete an unfinished story called ‘A Coward’s Soul’ written by D.J. O’Keeffe

Kathryn gladly jumped at the chance to go to Tse-dira’s studio after the meetings finished early. A peaceful walk through the verdant grounds of the Residence and a chance to look at some paintings would be the perfect tonic after being stuck in yet another unproductive meeting with the sniggering Commerce Minister N’tim. His reluctance to provide them with the parts Voyager needed as well as dealing with his unpleasant tone was becoming tiresome. She decided to talk to Bra-zei about the situation the next time she saw her. In the meantime, she would enjoy the fresh air and the beautiful gardens.

By readily accepting her invitation to see her painting, Kathryn seemed to be getting over the initial shock of how similar in appearance, personality, and even work as an artist Tse-dira was to her sister. It appeared to Kathryn to be the right time to explain her behaviour to Tse-dira and so she did while they walked around the gardens.

“Thank you for explaining everything to me, Kathryn,” said Tse-dira thoughtfully. Tse-dira was gracious in accepting her apology. She was acutely aware of the sadness in the captain’s eyes whenever they saw each other but she’d felt the dark veil lift from Kathryn over the last day. It would be very hard to suddenly see a near clone of a beloved sister and to be reminded of how far she was away from her sister, her home, and everyone who loved her. Adding to all of this, Tse-dira thought, was Kathryn’s perceived inability to be able to share this or gain comfort from someone because of protocol. Tse-dira now understood the older woman so more and was reminded sadly of how similar she was to her own Bra-zei. “I understand. Bra-zei sometimes feels alone,” said Tse-dira.

“Bra-zei isn’t alone. She has you,” Kathryn smiled knowingly. The younger woman ushered her into the studio.

With a glint in her eye, Tse-dira replied, “You don’t need to be alone. There is a certain tall dark handsome Commander who could keep you warm at night and who you could share your problems with.”

“Tuvok’s wife might not …” Kathryn smirked.

“Ugh … Not him. You know I meant Chakotay. I’m sure he could make you forget your troubles.”

“That he does,” she whispered while her cheeks reddened realizing what she’d said. ‘Certainly he made me forget my troubles last night and then again he added to them as well,’ she thought. He was so generous in attending to her every desire it was going to be very difficult for her to step back from their little arrangement. Unfortunately it was in her nature to be cautious considering her past and was why she said she didn’t know when he could see her again. She sighed happily, remembering the feel of his hand on her breast and thought he could indeed make any trouble disappear in a moment.

“I knew it!” Tse-dira laughed after seeing Kathryn blush, “I recognized that certain glow. I thought there was a change in you. Well, now I know why and I’m happy for you.”

“Thank you, Tse-dira. Please keep it to yourself, I …”

Quickly she held up her hand to stop Kathryn, “I’m the very model of discretion.” Waving an arm in the direction of her completed paintings, she beckoned the captain, “Come on. Let’s see if my paintings are anything like your sister’s.”

It was no surprise her work was very similar since they had similar personalities. Bright, strong colours and images whether it was a landscape or a portrait. Kathryn was looking at the paintings hanging on the walls while Tse-dira was sorting through the just finished paintings looking for her favourite one of Bra-zei. It was going to be a birthday present in two weeks time.

_Chirp chirp._

Kathryn was closer to the door so she answered it.

“My apologies for the interruption, Captain. Is Mistress Peido here with you?” a bodyguard said, his eyes darting around the room.

“Yes, she …”

In a flash, the bodyguard shouldered the door open and slammed into the captain. The bodyguard immediately ripped her comm. badge from her chest and threw it away then made a grab for her arms.

“Run! Tse-dira …” Janeway never saw it coming. The guard punched her in the face, and the next moment she was spinning to the ground. Shaking her head and still dazed, she managed to get to up on one knee before the guard came at her again. The man rushed her, grabbing her arms. She tried to loosen his grip but to no avail. Stamping hard on his foot released his grip on her a little and gave her enough room to forcefully knee him in the groin. The guard yelped before he collapsed to the ground. After another well placed kick in the groin to ensure the man wouldn’t get up in a hurry, she looked for Tse-dira.

Unfortunately, another man dressed as a security guard had come into the studio and was stalking the younger woman. Tse-dira was frozen with fear and hadn’t moved as the other man came closer. Kathryn quickly ran toward the second man, launched herself in the air, and tackled him. They landed in a mess of arms of legs on a small glass table that immediately collapsed. The adrenaline surging through her meant she hadn’t felt the broken glass cut her arms.

She jumped to her feet. “Run!” she yelled again without looking at her hoping Tse-dira would regain her composure and run away. Kathryn heard running footsteps and was relieved that Tse-dira would get away. Ready to protect her and give her more time to escape, she was already in defensive stance while the second man took his time to stand up.

A scream stopped her in her tracks and she turned in that direction.

The first bodyguard had recovered and was holding a knife to Tse-dira’s throat. The guard threatened, “Enough, Captain. Or she dies!”

The fear in the young woman’s eyes was enough to mean this fight was over. Janeway held her arms up in surrender and as calmly as she could, she said, “Okay, okay. Please don’t hurt her.”

The second guard grabbed the captain’s arms and pushed her next to Tse-dira. The first guard nodded to his friend and after shuffling in his pockets, he retrieved a small hyopspray. Kathryn didn’t miss the shocked look on the other’s woman’s face but couldn’t do anything about it as she felt a pressure on her neck, heard the hiss of a hypospray and the next moment she’d dropped like a log, unconscious. A small push on the knife to Tse-dira’s throat stopped any protest. The man injected her sending her into oblivion as well.

“You tie them up, Tal. I’ll cut their hair,” Ulan said kneeling next to the unconscious women. The heavy knife made easy work of cutting off their ponytails. He got up and left the hair on a table then he helped Tal tie up the women and bundle them into a heavy box on an anti-gravity sled. Dusting each other off to ensure they didn’t look out of place, they coolly walked out of the studio, pushing the sled.

* * *

Chakotay stormed into the turbolift with Tuvok following a step behind. He practically thumped his comm. badge, “Chakotay to Ayala.”

_“Lt. Ayala here, sir,”_ Mike Ayala immediately replied. Ayala had been expected his call after Tuvok had activated a security alert as soon as the news of the captain’s abduction was received. Security teams were already preparing for search and hostage rescue.

“Have the teams ready to go in Transporter room two. As soon as we get permission, I want the teams beaming down immediately,” Chakotay seethed as he watched Tuvok call for Deck four.

_“All teams will be ready to beam down in five minutes, sir.”_

Chakotay breathed in and out slowly trying to regain some control, “Thank you, Mike.” His voice was quiet but still cracked with emotion. He whispered to himself, “Kathryn …” He ran his hand through his hair. His mind went into overdrive wondering about all the things that could happen her. Horrible images of which he had far too much experience in his Maquis days flashed in his mind. He sucked in a breath, holding it in until he could hear his own loud pulse before slowly releasing it.

Tuvok saw the worry in the first officer’s face at a level he had not detected previously whenever the captain had been injured. He said in his usual calm tone, “I am confident Captain Janeway will be returned to us safely.”

Chakotay nodded as the turbolift stopped and they strode out toward the Transporter room.

_“Doctor to Chakotay.”_

Just when he started to feel a little better, Chakotay filled with anxiety again. The Doctor had finished the scans on the hair sample but he already knew the hair and the clasp were Kathryn’s. He’d seen her put the clasp in her auburn hair in his quarters. He went back to the time they’d spent together the morning before, realizing he hadn’t answered the Doctor. He apologized, “Sorry, Doctor. Report.”

_“The hair and clasp definitely belonged to the captain. No other alien DNA was detected,”_ the Doctor replied. He’d also detected the first officer’s DNA but this wasn’t the time or the place to speculate about how it got there.

“Is there anything you can tell about the knife used?”

_“A serrated blade made of a common Kuritan metal,”_ the medico replied.

“Thank you, Doctor. Chakotay out.” He walked through the doors to the Transporter room and straight onto the platform. “Beam us to Security Minister N’var’s location, Ensign.”

Ensign Chen set the coordinates and confirmed the system. “Energizing, sir.”

They materialized outside the art studio.

Rol N’var strode toward them and wasted no time in directing them inside the studio, “Gentlemen, please follow me.”

The men entered the studio. Everything seemed in order except a small side table had been smashed near the rear of the studio.

“Minister, would you permit some small teams of our specialists to examine the scene and the surroundings?” Chakotay asked.

“I’ll have to get permission from the Principal. We’ll be meeting her here in a few minutes. I don’t think there will be any objections. Mr. Tuvok, you may scan this room now if you want.”

Tuvok nodded and flipped his tricorder out then began scanning as he walked around the room.

“The room hasn’t been touched since it was discovered they were missing,” said N’var. He manoeuvred the first officer over to a table and pointed, “This is where their hair was found and over there by that plant was where the captain’s comm. badge was located.”

“Did you find any other evidence?”

“No, there was no Kuritan DNA found except that belonging to Ms. Peido, the Principal, the model she was painting and the cleaning staff.”

“The staff?”

“All the staff and the model have been accounted for and so have their movements.”

“Thank you, Minister.”

Tuvok finished his scans of the room and interrupted, “Commander, I have found a small amount of the captain’s blood in the glass fragments of the table.” Tuvok paused as he watched Chakotay’s jaw clench. He quickly added, “The amount of blood is quiet small indicating minor wounds. I did not find any Kuritan blood or DNA.”

The front door burst open and Principal Tekai rushed through to confront her Security minister. She was barely able to control her anger and fumed, “Minister N’var, what have you found?”

“Principal, as I said in my initial report to you, approximately twenty minutes ago, it was discovered that Ms. Peido and Captain Janeway were missing. I initiated the security lockdown procedure and began a search of the Residence. No sign of the women has been found.” He swallowed, looking decidedly embarrassed, “At this stage, I don’t know how they escaped undetected.”

Chakotay and Tuvok waited with varying degrees of patience as the Minister provided his leader with the report. Chakotay wanted to shut the man up and ask permission to beam down their security teams. He wanted to do something. Anything. His fist began to tighten while his jaw continued to clench, the only outward signs of the internal struggle he was going through. He let out a slow breath in an attempt to regain control of himself.

“Commander, do you have anything to add?” Tekai asked. Tekai turned to face the first officer, initially irate when he didn’t appear to be paying attention to her then she softened her tone when she saw the pained look on his face, “Commander?”

Chakotay blinked and apologized, “My apologies, Principal. Mr. Tuvok found some of the captain’s blood by the broken table. Principal, would you give permission for Voyager’s specialized security teams to assist in the search?”

Tekai quickly looked at N’var who nodded in agreement, “You have my permission.”

“Thank you, Principal,” the first officer nodded in gratitude then turned to Tuvok to get the ball rolling, “Tuvok, get your teams down here. And have Harry and Seven begin scanning the entire planet for the captain.”

“Yes, sir,” Tuvok nodded to him and to the Principal then stepped aside to contact the ship.

“I’ll leave you to finish the investigation, Minister. Coordinate with Mr Tuvok. We’ll meet in an hour,” she said to the security officers. Facing Chakotay, Tekai said in an authoritative tone that nobody could dare refuse, “Chakotay, walk with me.” She ushered him out of the studio and dismissed her own bodyguard with a wave of her hand. A private discussion is what she needed with this man. He was hurting and so was she but she’d learnt over the years to compartmentalize her feelings from the task in hand.

Chakotay followed her out of the studio for which he was happy to do. He needed to breathe, to regain control. He was struggling to focus and seeing Kathryn’s blood hadn’t helped. ‘Maybe Kathryn’s right in not pursuing a relationship. At the first sign of trouble, I’m hopeless,’ he thought but resolved to pull himself together. He wanted what they’d just started to continue for a very long time.

Stopping at the pond, they silently admired the soft pink lily like flowers floating on the surface.

Tekai said softly but with conviction, “Chakotay, she’ll be fine. Tse-dira will be fine. I know it. You must believe it.”

Chakotay shifted his feet; hesitating, attempting to keep his emotions in check then said quietly, “Principal, how do you know …?”

Bra-zei interrupted, “I don’t know, but I feel it in my heart. Whatever happens, I know she loved me just as I loved her and I will cherish every moment we had together.” She’d quickly put those dreadful thoughts in a neat box in the back of her mind as soon as she was told of their abduction. She needed to focus a hundred percent on whatever she could control. At the end of the crisis, it would be a different story and so she smiled weakly, “Call me Bra-zei if we are going to talk about the ones we love. We don’t have to be so formal.”

“Thank you, Bra-zei,” smiled Chakotay and wondered how this woman was so perceptive. He’d worked hard to be professional whenever he and Kathryn were together in meetings.

“If anything you must get back in control of your emotions. Put them in a box for the duration of the crisis. Your ship needs you. I need you. Kathryn needs you and Tse-dira needs you as well.”

Chakotay closed his eyes and thanked the Spirits for this woman standing by his side. She seemed to understand him perfectly. Bra-zei Tekai had somehow read their hearts and knew what was going on. After a deep breath, he knew she was right on all counts. Even though he’d been in love with Kathryn for several years and he was sure she’d fallen in love with him on New Earth, their deeper relationship was so new it was difficult for him to remain centred. He knew there were going to be times when one or the other was in danger or hurt and the other would have to carry on for the sake of the ship. If he wanted what they had to work, he would have to fall back on his Starfleet training and its emphasis on emotional detachment for the duration of this mission. However, he reserved the right to be as emotional as he wanted to be when he was off duty. He silently chuckled to himself when he realized this situation was exactly why Starfleet had seventeen regulations against falling in love with your captain. Feeling a little better, Chakotay said, “I’ll get through this.”

“It’ll get easier over time. Come; let’s see what they’ve discovered.” Bra-zei took him by the elbow and led him back to the studio.

Minister N’var nodded in the direction of the path, “Mr. Tuvok, they are returning.”

“We will present the preliminary report,” replied Tuvok then ushered N’var toward the Principal and Chakotay. Tuvok thought whatever the Principal said to Chakotay it had the desired effect. He seemed more in control.

N’var bowed slightly to the Principal and Chakotay.

“Minister, what have you found?” asked Tekai.

“The only new thing I have to report is that Mr. Tuvok’s teams found evidence of an anti-gravity sled being used from the studio to the eastern gate. We believe Ms. Peido and the captain were transported in this sled.”

“Tuvok, the sled?” Chakotay enquired.

“The signature indicates a common civilian Kuritan model.”

“Is there a missing sled in the Residence’s inventory?”

“Yes, Principal. We are analysing the security recordings now. It will take another hour to go through all of them.”

“Very good, N’var. The motive is still kidnapping?”

“I believe so, Principal. It is still very early and we’ll have to wait until the ransom communication comes to know what the abductors want.”

Chakotay knew it could mean a death sentence for Kathryn and Tse-dira but it was his duty to say it any way. He said, “Principal, it’s Starfleet’s policy not to negotiate with kidnappers or terrorists.”

Tekai also knew what such a policy could mean and replied solemnly, “Chakotay, it is our policy as well.”

Tuvok said, “The motive could still be ransom. If the intended victim was the spouse of the Kuritan Principal then the abductors may think such a policy may be disregarded because of the emotional attachment of the Principal to the victim.”

“Then why take Captain Janeway?” wondered Tekai, all the while thinking if they only knew how much she wanted to give them her entire world to get Tse-dira back.

N’var answered, “Extra pressure from Voyager on the Principal to resolve the issue.”

Everyone seemed to agree with this analysis.

Principal Tekai decided, “Chakotay and I will go back to the Residence and await the arrival of their demands.” Turning to the security officers, she added, “Both of you continue with the investigation.”

* * *

Groaning, Janeway started to stir and when she attempted to roll over on her back she immediately stopped because something around neck began to strangle her. Choking and coughing, she started to panic thinking she was being held captive by the Cardassians. The fear and terror flooded back nearly overwhelmed her. Kathryn knew she couldn’t bear to hear the screaming again. It was more the wanting to die to stop hearing Owen Paris’ screams that had taken a long a time to admit and get over. Waking up, tied up like she was in almost the same way as when she and Admiral Paris had been captured, had been terrifying then as it was now and she shook with that fear. Her arms were tied behind her back, her knees bent back and tied and the whole lot was linked together so any movement would pull at the loop that was around her neck and choke her. Kathryn knew it was a very effective way of controlling prisoners.

It took all her training and considerable effort to regain control over her breathing at least while trying to stay still. Her shoulders and knees ached from being held in the same position. The tight ropes cut into her wrists so she could barely feel her fingers. The pain in her hands helped focus her mind trying to recall every detail of the attack. A bodyguard asked if Ms. Peido was in the studio and when she answered positively, the guard barged through the door. She tried to defend herself and Tse-dira but after one of them had a knife to her friend’s throat, she’d given up.

Tse-dira.

‘Where was Tse-dira?’ she thought, as she looked around the room as far as she could but she couldn’t see her although she heard someone breathing behind her and hoped it was Peido. A door opened and Kathryn could hear two males talking when they entered the room. The voices belonged to the bodyguards. She pretended to be still unconscious but opened her eyes to a narrow slit. Alert now, she watched the two men talk quietly then watched as they approached her. They were checking on her so she closed her eyes as the footsteps stopped in front of her. One set of footsteps continued on past her and stopped after several steps.

“They both look like they’re still out of it, Ulan,” said the guard behind her.

The guard in front of her replied, “Okay, Tal. Let’s finish the note. We’ll check in ten minutes.”

The men walked out of the room and closed the door.

Kathryn now had a clue for their abduction. A note could mean ransom for monetary or political gain for either of them. She assumed the Kuritan government wouldn’t negotiate with the abductors and she knew Starfleet regulations prevented Chakotay from doing the same. Kathryn realized it could all end badly by taking that stand.

Kathryn knew Chakotay would be worried but his training would help him keep focussed. She hoped the disappointment she saw on his face when she said she didn’t know when he could see her again wouldn’t be last time they saw each other. She would’ve leapt into his arms if she saw him now but then again she would’ve settled for just holding his hand like she did before she left for the surface. It wasn’t her intention to hurt him in any way because she did want to see him again. It was going to take some time for the captain to be separated from the woman who loved him, wanted to be touched by him and needed him in her life to make her complete. The captain in her needed to prepare and concentrate on the last round of meetings with the Principal and the other Ministries.

Tse-dira woke up with a groan. She had a pounding headache and her shoulder ached. She tried to roll over but immediately stopped when she started to suffocate. Gasping as the rope cut into her throat, she started to panic. She had no idea what was happening.

Hearing somebody who Kathryn thought must be Tse-dira, she ordered quietly, “Tse-dira, don’t move!”

Panting, Tse-dira calmed down when she recognized the captain’s voice, “Kathryn?”

“It’s Kathryn. Please, Tse-dira, don’t move. The rope around your neck is attached to your legs and arms.”

“Okay, Kathryn,” the young woman calmed down a little more allowing her legs and arms to relax to get some slack in the rope around her neck.

“How do you feel?”

“My shoulders are sore and I’ve got a pounding headache. You?”

“I’m fine.”

“What’s happening?” Tse-dira asked still breathing heavily.

“I think it’s a kidnapping. Just before you woke up, the two men who came to the studio checked on us and they mentioned something about a note.”

“Tekai won’t negotiate or pay.” Tse-dira closed her eyes, groaning as her headache throbbed, thinking of her beloved. Outwardly, Bre-zei would be all business; cold even to those who didn’t know her but on the inside she would be very worried.

“Neither will Chakotay.” She asked softly, “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“My head aches,” she moaned again.

“We’ll be fine. Both our security teams will be working to free us,” Kathryn tried to sound as optimistic as possible.

“I know. In the meantime, we wait.”

“And we learn as much as we can and look for an opportunity to escape.”

The door opened and the men walked in, stopping just in front of the captain. Both women looked up as they came in.

“Good. You’re both awake. Don’t bother screaming. Nobody can hear you.” Ulan waved to Tal, “Get them to kneel.”

The captain said, “I don’t know what you want but …Arghh.”

Ulan viciously kicked Janeway in the leg to silence her and shouted, “Shut up! Or do you want another.” He bent over her, grabbed her chin forcibly, and whispered threateningly in her ear, “I haven’t forgotten what you did to me. If it wasn’t for the money I’m getting for keeping you relatively untouched, I could think of a few things I could do to you.”

Shaking her head, Kathryn blinked tears of pain in between sharp breaths. She shuddered after sizing him up because she believed Ulan would do exactly whatever he wanted to do to her. The pain in her thigh reduced slightly enough to allow her to sneer at her captors. Ulan waved to Tal to move Tse-dira. Kathryn hoped she wouldn’t resist and get hurt.

“Right.” Tal stepped around Kathryn and dragged Tse-dira closer to her. The young woman went limp as Tal hauled her toward Kathryn and into a kneeling position. Tal grabbed the captain and forced her to kneel as well. The shift in position was painful as the rope again dug into their necks but it soon dissipated when they stopped moving.

Adjusting the imager, Ulan sneered, “This is to prove you are still alive. Mistress, you look fine but the captain looks like hell.” He took the shot and waited for the machine to transfer it to the chip. “Tal, you know what to do.”

“Yes, Ulan. I’ll be back in an hour.” Tal took the chip and they both left the room.

Janeway let out the breath she’d been holding and groaned deeply. Her left leg was one mass of throbbing pain from the kick and being put in a kneeling position hadn’t reduced the pain. She was contemplating falling on her side to reduce the pain but by kneeling, she could see more. She closed her eyes and began to organize her thoughts to prepare to meditate …

“Kathryn, are you okay?” Tse-dira asked softly knowing she must be in pain from the kick and from the bruise on her jaw and eye. Kathryn’s sleeves were cut in a few places. Tse-dira looked at Kathryn’s hands and could see dried blood near her wrists that must have flowed from cuts on her arms.

“I’m fine.” Kathryn replied automatically. She’d been trying to use a Vulcan pain meditation technique with minimal success.

“No, you’re not. Don’t lie to me!” she hissed. Tse-dira was too tired and emotional to take any shit from her.

Kathryn was taken aback from her tone because it was the first time she’d heard Tse-dira raise her voice at anyone. She apologised, “I’m sorry, Tse-dira, but it will have to do. They may be watching us. We have to be careful what we say and do. I don’t want to show any weakness they can use against me or you.”

“What do you mean?” Tse-dira said quietly not really wanting to know but she had to.

“I’ve in this position before. If they know something about you, they can use it against you. They may threaten to do things to either one of us but you must be strong.” Kathryn could see the fear in the young woman’s face grow as she took in what she’d said. Her short time in that Cardassian prison had proven that. When she’d tried to cover the Owen Paris’ screams by her own equally loud singing, they’d dragged her into the same room and forced her to watch while they tortured the Admiral.

“I’m sorry for freezing in the studio.” Tse-dira looked down at the floor, embarrassed.

“Don’t worry about it but if there is another chance to escape, you must take it without looking back.”

“But what about you?”

She stressed, “No buts. Please. Tse-dira, if you can escape then run and don’t look back.”

“Please, Kathryn. I don’t want you to do something stupid like sacrifice yourself for me.”

“I don’t want to die, especially not now but I can defend myself. You aren’t trained to.” She would try and protect Tse-dira as much as she could but the thought of returning to Chakotay’s arms and the warmth and peace she’d felt when she’d woken up this morning was clear motivation for her being less reckless than she normally would have been.

“Okay, so we just sit…” Tse-dira smiled weakly, “Or kneel here and wait.”

“We wait. They’re delivering the note now so we just have to be patient.”

* * *

Rine N’tim sent the message to his informant in Tekai’s office, confident that he’d covered his tracks in sending the message. He had to know what Voyager and N’var had found out so far. The mercenaries he’d hired from his customers to do the kidnapping had a detailed plan of what was to happen and when. He was assured they were good men and so he was confident enough to have hired another creative expert to fix his inventory records instead of finding transport away from Kurita. Within a day, the expert told him, his files and records would be clean.

The abduction would focus the media away from him and his lurid comments regarding Tekai and Janeway and it would distract the Principal away from his Ministry and him. In a week, he planned to have Janeway and Peido released and there would be nothing to trace him to the abduction. He might even have time to take advantage of the captain’s predicament by getting to know her better thanks to his customer’s technology. He smiled at the thought of that.

Things were looking up.

A beep from his computer console sounded. It would be his informant, he presumed. He entered his code and read the message. He laughed aloud at the fools at Security who had no idea who they were or how they got in and out with the two women. His customers were very well resourced and did indeed have good men at their disposal. All he had to do was sit tight and in a week, everything would by fine.

Things were definitely looking up.

*******

_“Seven of Nine to Chakotay.”_

“Excuse me, Principal,” Chakotay pressed his comm. badge and answered, “Chakotay here. Go ahead, Seven.”

_“Commander, Ensign Kim and I have completed the standard sensor sweep for human live signs. There is no trace of Captain Janeway.”_

“Thank you, Seven. Anything else to report?” His heart sank a little even though he was expecting they would be hiding them in a shielded location.

_“Yes, sir. Mr Kim suggests if Voyager was to proceed to lower orbit, narrow the sensor beam and allow Lt. Torres and I to ‘tinker’ with the parameters of the beam, we believe the sweep can detect at least the shielded areas and more than likely penetrate the shields to detect the captain.”_

“Do you think it could work?”

_“Yes, Commander. Lt. Torres’ tinkering has proven very effective in the past. I am confident it will succeed.”_

“Hold on, Seven,” Chakotay closed the channel and turned back to face Tekai, asking, “Principal?”

“Yes, you can. Thank you for asking, Chakotay, but I’ve already given you permission to do whatever you can.”

“Thank you, Bra-zei.” He pressed his badge again, “Chakotay to Seven.”

_“Seven here, Commander.”_

“You have permission. Set it up as soon as you can. Get back to me when you have an idea how long it will take.”

_“Yes, Commander. Seven out.”_

Chakotay sat back down on the chair in front of Tekai’s desk. All he could do now was wait, which he’d always hated to do. Smiling to himself, he remembered something from one of his Academy instructors. It was the ‘hurry up and wait’ military expression. Patience was something his father had also tried to instil in him, but being a contrary all he wanted was to do something, anything.

“What is it?” Tekai asked after seeing the grin on his face.

_Chirp chirp_

“Enter,” Tekai said.

Rol N’var and Tuvok entered the office and stopped in front of Tekai’s desk. Rol N’var had a solemn expression on his face whereas Tuvok was expressionless as usual.

“What is it?” asked Tekai wondering what had happened, looking back and forth between the two men.

“Principal, the ransom communication has been delivered by hypertube to the Security station in the Residence. We have teams tracing the entry point to the tube system but it will take time because of the volume of traffic.”

Tekai nodded, “I take it you have seen the message.”

“Yes, Principal. It is a rambling statement from a previously unknown group called the Nardan Freedom Alliance. Basically, they want autonomy.”

“Nardan?” Chakotay asked.

“Commander, it’s a northern province with an independent streak.” The Security minister checked a padd he was carrying, “Principal, I have instructed the Federal security section in Narda to investigate this group. Their initial report will be ready in two hours.”

“Very good, Rol. Let’s hear the message.”

The Security minister turned the computer around and inserted the chip. Chakotay moved around to the other side of the desk to get a better view. The minister then returned to stand next to Tuvok and watched their leaders as the Tekai started the message. Two masked men all dressed in black appeared and launched in to a rambling speech on the alleged wrongs committed on the Nardan people.

A few minutes later, Tuvok could tell what part of the message they were watching when Tekai’s hand grasped on to Chakotay’s hand to support him while his jaw clenched again. The abductors wanted to prove the women were alive so they’d recorded them but the condition of the captain was what had concerned Tuvok and distressed Chakotay. Her hair and uniform were a mess. There was a large bruise on her face and a small trickle of blood under her nose but there was a defiant look on the face. Peido hadn’t appeared hurt but seemed to be scared. She was tied up in the same way as the captain.

Chakotay slowly expelled the breath he was holding. Expecting some injuries, he was handling everything better. It helped to see that look of defiance on Kathryn’s face that he knew so well. It meant she was still in control and would already be looking for a means of escape or otherwise overcoming their situation. More in control of his voice than he thought possible, he asked calmly, “Minister, do you have any idea who the men are?”

“No, Commander.”

“What about the deadline?”

Principal Tekai answered, “We’ll put out the ‘will not negotiate’ response in an hour. Security will be reporting soon on the Nardan province. We’ll have to be patient.”

“Do we …?” Chakotay was interrupted by an incoming call.

_“Seven of Nine to Chakotay.”_

Tekai waved her hand indicating for him to answer. He pressed his comm. badge, “Go ahead, Seven.”

_“Commander, the deep scan will take eight point three hours to complete.”_

“Tuvok and I will be returning to the ship shortly. I want a progress report when I get back to Voyager.”

_“Yes, Commander. Seven out.”_

“Principal, when you are ready to issue that release, I would like to be with you as a sign of our unity and resolve. Mr. Tuvok and I will take this opportunity to return to Voyager for a short time. We will contact you if our scans pick up anything new.”

“We will do the same.”

“Thank you, Principal.” Chakotay motioned to Tuvok to follow him out to the foyer to beam back to the ship.

********

Tse-dira Peido was tired, stiff, and sore from being trussed up like a bird. It had been a long time since she’d felt her fingers, and now she was embarrassed and worried at the same time was her increasing need to go to the toilet. Distraction was no longer working. She’d already tried to remember all of her teachers’ names, various song lyrics, and past Principals. Looking to her left to see how Kathryn was faring, she was amazed. Even though the bruise around her cheek was turning purple and her eye was nearly swollen shut, she hadn’t complained. Kathryn looked peaceful, almost serene, with her eyes closed and her breathing slow. It was a pity to disturb her but her situation was desperate. “Kathryn?” Peido asked softly.

Instantly, the blue eyes were open, and she looked alert, “What’s the matter?”

“I need to go to the bathroom,” she replied sheepishly.

“Okay. They’ve been checking us every ten minutes so they’ll be back very soon. Hang on.”

Peido nodded.

“Tse-dira, you do the talking or they may think I’m trying to escape.”

“Makes sense,” said the young woman. “Were you meditating?”

“Yes.” Kathryn smiled thinking Tuvok wouldn’t say it directly but he would be pleased she was using these methods to achieve some peace in such a difficult time.

“Was it working?”

Kathryn reflected if she hadn’t meditated her thoughts would have been turned to Chakotay. Although, he would have provided pleasant memories to occupy her time, she needed to focus all her energies on their situation. She said with a small grin, “It distracts me from other things ….”

She grinned, “When we get out of here, you can teach me.”

“Sure. It’s …”

The door opened and the two men returned to check on them.

Kathryn nodded reassuringly at Peido who took a deep breath then said in soft voice, “Please, sir. May I speak?”

Ulan looked suspiciously at Peido, at the captain then back to her before answering, “What do you want?”

“Please, I need to use the bathroom.”

Ulan looked at Tal, who shrugged not caring one way or the other, “Tal, help me carry her.”

“Thank you, sir.”

Ulan and Tal carried her out of the room.

Ten minutes later, a relieved Peido was returned to the room seemingly unharmed from the experience. The men placed her in the same position she’d been in. Before Kathryn could ask as well, they picked her up under her armpits and carried her out of the room, down a hallway and into a large bathroom. They laid her on the floor and Tal untied the knots around her legs. Kathryn slowly moved her toes and ankles before straightening her legs out. The kick to her thigh had left her with a ‘dead leg’. Rolling over to kneel on one leg she struggled to stand up. Sucking a breath as the pain in her legs threatened to overpower her, she wobbled trying to remain upright. Squaring her shoulders because she could see Ulan leering at her, she slowly limped to the toilet.

When she reached the seat, she knew she would need help. They weren’t going to undo the ropes around her arms. Kathryn turned around to face them directly, squared her shoulders, and using her best command voice she said, “Ulan, you’ll need to help with my pants unless you untie my arms.”

Ulan had stood by the door on guard with his hand close to a phaser watching with some amusement the woman struggling to get up and walk to the toilet. His anger grew as this small woman tried to tell him what to do even though he had the phaser. He would make the high and mighty captain beg. He seethed, “Say please.”

Tal watched as Kathryn blinked and her mouth twitched deciding what to do. A quick look at Ulan told him he was having some fun. Ulan’s smile grew at the captain’s discomfort.

Fuming, Kathryn said, “Please.”

Ulan nodded to Tal who then walked behind the captain and untied her arms then went back to where Ulan was standing. Her face was impassive as she carefully wiggled her fingers and arms.

“You have two minutes,” Ulan said before they left the room. Ulan was a little surprised to see there was no relief on her face at the prospect of not having to go in front of the men.

Kathryn wasn’t going to show these men she was afraid although she was relieved she didn’t have to be undressed by them. They were trying to have some fun with her. She said a silent prayer to her Command school instructors for showing her the command mask. Quickly, she used the toilet and rinsed her mouth out. Assessing her condition, she felt all right except for a headache, possibly from the punch or possibly she thought and smirked it could from the lack of coffee. She slowly flexed her arms and legs to regain some movement in them. Noticing the trail of blood on her wrist and her torn uniform sleeve, she gently pulled up her left sleeve. There were two deep cuts on the back of her forearm that still oozed blood, which was being soaked up by her turtleneck sleeves. She looked around for something to stop the blood flow but there was nothing in the bathroom to use so she used her other hand to press firmly on the cuts and waited for the men to return.

The door opened, Tal entered carefully and said, “Move to the wall and face it.” Ulan followed Tal into the room holding a phaser.

Kathryn did what she was told.

“Put your arms above your head.” Ulan said passing the phaser to Tal.

Kathryn placed her hands on top of her head. Ulan came up behind her. She tried not to shudder as his hot breath lingered on her neck. She knew he would be enjoying this and she was determined not to show anything.

He moved her hands to behind her back then tied her wrists together and whispered in her ear, “I’m going to search you now. I just might like this.” He began at her wrists running roughly over them. Taking in a sharp breath, she moaned then bit her tongue as he unknowingly dug into the cuts on her arms. Encouraged by her groans but mistaking her pain for fear, he continued down her sides and up and her stomach and chest. “Hmm …” Ulan murmured. His hands lingered over her breasts and eventually he roughly squeezed them.

Kathryn closed her eyes and tried to remain passive as Ulan ‘searched’ her. She was scared but was determined not to show it when he squeezed her breasts.

“You’re lucky. I like big tits and yours are just too small. That tart Peido has a good set though,” he hissed in to her ear before using his leg to force her legs apart, rubbed her groin as he did. Dropping to his knees, Ulan felt up the inside of one leg, loitered around when he reached her groin before finishing the other leg. Sounding a little disappointed when Janeway didn’t react the way he was expecting by telling him to stop or crying, he said, “Thank you, Captain. I’m sure you enjoyed that as much as I did.” Standing up, he rubbed his growing arousal on her buttocks forcing her into the wall. He stepped back and motioned for Tal to finish tying her up.

Kathryn was relieved it was over and released the breath she was holding while Tal finished tying her up. They picked her up and returned her to the room. Peido was thankful to see Kathryn again and smiled at her when they put her down next to her. The men wheeled around and left the room.

Tse-dira looked at her friend and was immediately worried when she remained quiet staring at the wall in front of her. She gently asked, “Kathryn, are you alright?”

Kathryn blinked, breathed deeply, and answered, “Sorry, Tse-dira. I’m okay. Just give me a minute.” She would need some time to overcome the pain of being trussed up again in an uncomfortable position and its effects on her various injuries. Everything that happened to them so far was so similar to her time as a prisoner of the Cardassians. Those horrible memories flooded back to her threatening to paralyse her.

“They didn’t …” The way Kathryn reacted, she wondered if they’d hurt her or worse. Peido’s bathroom experience was fine. They untied her and left her alone before tying her up again.

“No. I’ll be fine,” she tried to reassure Tse-dira but failed miserably as she gasped when her arm moved causing her turtleneck to rub against one of the cuts.

Peido wasn’t convinced. “Kathryn, please.”

“You’re almost as bad as Chakotay. I can’t get anything passed him,” Kathryn smiled weakly, “I need to focus again, then I’ll be okay.”

Peido understood and left her to her meditation.

* * *

Chakotay and Tuvok walked out of the Transporter room toward the turbolift to take them to the Bridge.

Chakotay walked over to his command chair as Tom Paris got up and stood ready to give him a report. After reading the ship’s status report on the centre console, he looked up satisfied that Tom was on top of things, “Okay, Tom. Report.”

“Sir, Seven reported they’ve just started the scan but no positive results so far.”

“Get Seven to make the Narda province in the north the top priority.”

“Yes, sir.” Tom moved to the Operations to talk to Harry to make that happen.

“Tom, you have the conn. Tuvok, come to the Ready room with me.”

Chakotay got up and walked to Ready room. He mulled over the kidnapping and the note. Something didn’t feel right in the back of his mind and he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. He ran his hand through his hair and enquired, “Tuvok, do you think it’s political?”

“The available evidence so far points to that conclusion, Commander.”

“We haven’t even considered any other motive, have we?”

“You are correct. However, all the evidence points in the same direction.”

Kidnapping to achieve political goals was a well known method used by many disaffected groups to achieve what they wanted. N’var’s and Tuvok’s argument was entirely plausible to Chakotay but he was trying to cover all the bases just like the captain would’ve done. He thought Kathryn would be proud of how everyone was pulling together to find her and even Seven was behaving like a team player. Were there any other motives? Revenge from an aggrieved enemy seemed obvious but he didn’t know enough about Kuritan politics to know if Tekai had any enemies even though he was sure she would have some. Why had they assumed it was directed at Peido? What about the other person who was there, Kathryn?

Kathryn.

Nobody seemed to consider that Kathryn could’ve been the intended victim. They found her blood on the glass of the broken table but this wouldn’t mean anything because she would’ve tried to protect Tse-dira anyway. She wouldn’t have let them take Ms. Peido without a fight. He contemplated who would’ve been aggravated by Kathryn in the short time they’d been on Kurita. The only person Kathryn complained about was the Minister of Commerce, Rine N’tim.

“That bastard! If he’s hurt Kathryn …” he muttered to himself, clenching his fists.

The power and venom of his whispered words made Tuvok turn to face Chakotay. Tuvok asked, “Commander?”

“What if ransom wasn’t the motive but something more sinister? The captain has had two very unpleasant altercations with the Minister of Commerce, Rine N’tim, plus his earlier sensational comments in the Council about her and the Principal.”

Tuvok listened as he recounted Kathryn’s confrontations in the garden and in the bistro.

“This is a possible motive. I will contact Minister N’var to see if he can add anything further.” Tuvok moved aside to contact N’var, “Tuvok to Minister N’var.”

_“N’var here, Commander.”_

“Commander Chakotay may have uncovered a new motive involving Commerce Minister N’tim,” Tuvok repeated the two incidents to the minister.

Principal Tekai listened to the conversations and when Chakotay mentioned N’tim’s name, Tekai’s swallowed hard. She knew of N’tim’s entirely unpleasant nature toward her and anybody connected with her or her administration due in part to his ambition to be Prinicpal. ‘Of course,’ she thought, ‘the investigations into his department.’

_“Principal Tekai here, Mr. Tuvok. I think this whole thing might be a smokescreen. My department was just beginning an investigation into the financial affairs of the Commerce Ministry and Mr N’tim, in particular.”_

N’var said worryingly, _“The Principal and I had only had preliminary discussions when it became apparent that the Commerce Ministry was having difficulty supplying Voyager with what should’ve been basic equipment our own Space fleet required. There were other reporting irregularities as well.”_ The old warrior stopped, not really wanting to say the obvious next piece in this puzzle. He was eternally grateful Mr. Tuvok carried on his thoughts.

“Principal, someone from your staff could have provided the information on the investigation to N’tim,” added Tuvok.

“So he could deflect your attention from this investigation,” Chakotay finished the line of reasoning. Chakotay had remained silent up until now. His ability to control his anger was being tested again.

Principal Tekai took a deep breath and was galvanised into action. She said, _“This is what we’re going to do. We will proceed as we are. We will release the statement now and continue to investigate as normal. Only the four of us will know about this motive behind the abduction. We will not discuss it openly. Is that clear?”_

Everyone seemed to agree with the Principle’s plan and Chakotay had a fair idea what was going to happen in the background. He continued, “We’ll run a quiet investigation into N’tim and into the leak.”

_“Correct. N’var, get onto it but do it discreetly.”_

The Security minister concurred.

Mr. Tuvok considered the best personnel to discover N’tim’s true intentions and said, “Commander, may I suggest Seven of Nine conduct a discreet computer audit of N’tim.”

_“Why?”_ asked Tekai. She’d met Seven once at one of the parties and found her refreshingly blunt.

“Principal, would you allow Seven to access to your computer networks? Her Borg technology can be used to trace connections quickly and remain undetected.”

_“Chakotay, you have my permission to use whatever resources you have to help.”_

“Thank you, Principal. I will beam down immediately and we’ll release the statement.”

_“I’ll have the media ready to transmit it as soon as you come down.”_

Chakotay turned off his comm. link and said, “Tuvok, get Seven to begin the investigation into N’tim. Harry can take over the deep sensor scan. You have command while I’ll be down on the planet.”

“Aye, Commander.”

Chakotay walked up to the turbolift to head back to the Transporter room while Tuvok followed his orders.

Chakotay beamed back down to the Principal’s foyer. N’var ushered him past the waiting media into Tekai’s office.

Tekai passed him a padd, “Here is the statement I’ll be reading in a few minutes.”

Chakotay read it and it was short but to the point. He handed the padd back and said, “That’s fine.”

“Let’s do it.” Tekai walked out of her office in to the foyer to the lectern where the hastily gathered media awaited. Chakotay was standing on one side and N’var on the other. She addressed the journalists, “I will read a statement shortly. Our honoured guest, Commander Chakotay from the Starship Voyager or I will not be answering any questions after this statement is read.”

The reporters whispered wondering what this was all about because this wasn’t the Principal’s normal style in dealing with the media. They quietened down when she indicated she was about to begin.

“At approximately 9.30 this morning, my spouse, Ms. Peido and Captain Janeway of the Starship Voyager were abducted from the art studio in the Residence. Investigations into this crime are continuing and will be vigorous.” Tekai looked at the shocked faces on the reporters before her, “A short time ago, a ransom communication was delivered to the authorities. A previously unknown group has admitted responsibility and voiced their demands. The message indicated the women were alive and relatively unharmed. It is Kuritan government policy not to negotiate with terrorists in hostage situations. We can not alter that position and we will not alter that position no matter whom they abduct,” Tekai stressed that point by looking at everyone. “I repeat we can not have Kurita dictated to by terrorists. We implore the abductors to release the women alive and well as soon as possible. That is all, thank you.” She stepped away from the podium and went back to her office, followed by Chakotay, leaving a room full of reporters speechless.

* * *

“Well, Tal. N’tim thought that would be her response,” Ulan said switching off the vidscreen. They’d watched the statement read out by Tekai, and he was amazed at how cool and calm she appeared even though her lover could be facing death. The Starship officer stood at parade rest, with his hands behind his back, jaw clenched, and a very serious look on his face. He looked like he was ready to kill someone, Ulan supposed.

“Let’s get it over with,” Tal said impatiently knowing what their next move was. He wrapped the traditional bindings around his face to cover his features then picked up his tool bag.

“I’ll set up the imager,” Ulan hooked the imager to a stand, covered his face, and entered the room.

Ulan set the imager up in front of the two women while Tal placed his tool bag behind them. Kathryn thought they were preparing to record another segment to proof they were fine.

“Tal, stand behind the lovely Mistress while I check the imager level,” Ulan said, looking into the viewscreen of the imager while Tal stood behind her. “That’s fine. Ready to go when you are.”

Tal unzipped his tool bag and handed Ulan a pair of metal shears then returned to his position behind Peido while Ulan stood behind the captain.

Kathryn could hear Ulan take something out of his pocket. Presumably, it was his speech. She attempted to move her head to reassure Tse-dira but Ulan had other ideas.

He quickly pulled the neck loop once and choked her briefly causing her to cough and splutter. He threatened, “Don’t move!” Ulan looked at the padd he was holding one last time then returned it to his pocket. He said, “Computer, start imager. Five second delay.”

Ulan cleared his throat and launched into his speech. “The Nardan Freedom Alliance doesn’t believe the Kuritan government is taking our grievances seriously. Our response to your message will be just as swift and brief as yours was to ours. This will be proof of our serious intent to achieve basic rights for all Nardans.” Ulan paused, nodded to Tal and they both pulled out the metal cutters from their pockets.

All of a sudden, they shoved both women in the back. They went face first on to the floor unable to stop their heads crashing into the hard surface. Dazed, Kathryn felt Ulan kneel be her side and grab her hands. She could see Tal had knelt by Peido and the young woman groaned as Tal twisted her hands to allow access to her fingers.

Ulan lowered his voice and said sinisterly into Kathryn’s ear, “My friend here will attempt to make the Principal more cooperative while I try to convince Commander Chakotay to place more pressure on Tekai.”

Tal looked at the imager waving the shears around, “Tekai, this is for all Nardans!” He quickly grabbed her left little finger and cut the end joint off using the shears.

Kathryn yelled too late, “No!”

Ulan slapped her in the head and pulled at her neck rope to quieten her, causing her to choke. Unable to turn away as Ulan held her there, Kathryn struggled to breathe from being choked and from the shock over what she’d just witnessed.

Peido’s screams started immediately and matched the rate of the blood that was spurting out for a few seconds before it slowed to a trickle just like her screams were reduced to whimpering before she eventually passed out. Her cream shirt was covered in blood. Tal picked up the amputated fingertip and placed it into a container.

Kathryn struggled but there was nothing she could do. She had never felt so helpless and she just couldn’t believe it. Tal had chopped off a bit of Tse-dira’s finger. She felt sick to her stomach seeing the crimson blood spurting out. How could they do that? Kathryn didn’t get to think about it too long because she felt Ulan twist her left hand around. The only good thing was Tse-dira wasn’t awake to see what she knew was about to happen to her. She said a silent prayer to Chakotay hoping to send her love to him knowing he would be distraught when he watched the recording.

Ulan leant forward and whispered gleefully in her ear, “This is my payback for that kick in my balls, you bitch!” He looked into the imager and said, “This is for you Mr. Chakotay. Put pressure on Kurita to change their ways.”

Kathryn felt his grip tighten around her finger, gritted her teeth and waited. He was taking pleasure from causing her as much anxiety as possible by doing everything slowly not like Tal. He placed the shears around her finger before slowly increasing the pressure on the handles. Gradually, the cold metal began to bite into her flesh. Sucking in sharp breaths as the pain increased exponentially. Kathryn bit down hard on her lip but it wasn’t enough to prevent her screaming as the shears crunched through her tendons. Tears flowed freely like her blood that now soaked the back of her uniform and down her chin from her bitten lip.

Ulan hauled her back onto her knees, and leant over her, shoving a padd in her face. “Read this!”

With her head rolling, she fought to control her breathing. Her tears from the pain dripped slowly down her cheeks. Blinking to clear her vision, she tried to focus on the words but it was very difficult.

Pulling at her bindings, Ulan threatened, “Read it now, or the Mistress will be bleeding some more!”

“Fine, you bastard! I’ll read it. Just leave her alone,” she seethed angrily then paused to spit out some blood, putting on her best command face to concentrate on the words. She read the words slowly and without emotion, “Principal Tekai and Commander Chakotay, our blood is on your hands. Please help us. We do not want to die. Free Narda.”

“You have until 1800 to comply with our demands,” Ulan said pushing the captain to the floor next to Peido then turned off the imager. Tal picked up the finger segment and put it into the container. Taking the imagers’ chip from Ulan, Tal left the room at deliver it to the media. Ulan packed up their equipment and left the room.

Kathryn had landed with a thump on her side but was grateful her head hadn’t hit the floor. The pain was diminishing slowly but still her left hand felt like it was going to explode. She was getting used to the hot stabbing pains in her fingers and she’d calmed down enough to regain control of her breathing. ‘Thank God, she fainted,’ she thought looking at the back of Tse-dira. Her breathing was steady and she hadn’t moved since it happened. Kathryn looked at the stump of her finger; it was still oozing a little blood. The blood on her back was mixed in with sweat making it look worse then it was. She hoped the Doctor would be able to reattach the tip if the men get it to the authorities quickly enough and they could get them into stasis.

Kathryn closed as her eyes trying to picture something pleasant to take her mind off her extremely painful throbbing hand. It hadn’t taken her long to think of Chakotay’s smile when she woke up her in his arms in his bed. She felt his hand stoking hers, his broad shoulders and loving arms surrounding her. She never felt so loved by such a simple act. It had felt so wonderful and natural. She sighed, and let her mind drift back a little further on the night.

* * *

_Chirp chirp_

N’var pressed the doorbell and waited. Principal Tekai should be pleased with this information, he thought.

_“Enter,”_ Tekai said

N’var entered the room and found Tekai sitting at her desk with Chakotay sitting opposite her. Nodding to the commander, he said, “Principal, the security footage has revealed two men who appear to be our suspects. We have identified one of the men as Ulan S’ter. Intelligence has very little on this man other than he is not from Narda and is thought to be involved in organized crime but there is not enough evidence to convict him of any offence. We are checking on his associates and where he is known to operate.”

“Good work, Rol,” Tekai replied. She was pleased they’d made a breakthrough.

“Thank you, Principal. I will continue to investigate,” N’var nodded.

“Bra-zei, this is good news.” Chakotay felt some hope for the first time since this dreadful incident began. He finished the tea he was drinking and offered to get Bra-zei another one.

“Thank you, Chakotay,” Tekai replied.

_“Seven of Nine to Chakotay,”_ Seven said.

“Go ahead, Seven.”

_“Permission to beam down, Commander. I have important information.”_

“Granted, Seven. Chakotay out.” Chakotay looked at Tekai hopefully. They didn’t have to wait long as the door chime rang.

_Chirp chirp_

_“Enter,”_ Tekai said.

Seven strode into the room, “Principal, Minister and Commander.”

“What do you have, Seven?”

“I have a discovered a link between Commerce Minister N’tim and Galan S’hyn,” she paused when she saw the recognition of the name by Tekai and N’var but the blank look on the commander’s face. “Mr. S’hyn works as one of the Principal’s aides, Commander.”

“I see. What exactly did you find?” asked Chakotay. He’d forgotten Tekai had introduced them several days ago.

“It appears N’tim used a sophisticated method to hide his messages from detection. It would have been impossible for Kuritan technology to track the messages. However, I used a Borg algorithm to track any messages from N’tim. I have discovered N’tim wanted to know how the investigation was proceeding.”

“Any other communication between the two?” Tekai asked.

“No, Principal.”

N’var asked, “Have you looked at communications between N’tim and anyone else?”

“I have gone back 50 hours. He communicated twice with a female I presume to be his spouse from the message content. There were several messages to and from a male called Ulan S’ter. ”

Tekai sat up straighter; wanting to make sure she heard correctly so she asked, “Did you say Ulan S’ter?”

“Yes, Prinicpal. Is this individual a suspect?”

“He’s been identified as one of the guards who appears to have taken the women.”

“I see. The transmissions stopped 12 hours ago and appear to be about setting up a business transaction. I have them on this padd.” Seven passed the padd to the Security minister who read the messages.

“Principal, it would seem N’tim paid S’ter and another man to abduct the women. They refer to a timetable of events but there are no details of this.”

“We have enough to arrest N’tim and S’hyn. Should we continue as we are or arrest them?”

N’var responded after mulling over the pros and cons, “We still have no idea where they are located. We need time to allow Voyager to complete the scan.”

“I agree, Principal,” Chakotay said. “Seven, do you know where the messages from B’ter come from?”

“Not precisely but they emanated from somewhere on this continent, Commander.”

Chakotay tapped his comm. badge, “Chakotay to Ensign Kim.”

_“Kim here, sir.”_

“Harry, stop the scan of Narda and immediately scan this continent.”

_“Yes, sir. I’m on it,”_ Harry paused while he checked the readout, _“It will take an hour.”_

“Thank you, Harry. Chakotay out.”

Tekai sat back in her chair. Finally, they were getting closer to Tse-dira and the captain and within an hour, they should have the location. Tekai looked at N’var, “We’ll wait for an hour for the scan to complete but keep N’tim and S’hyn under discreet surveillance. In the meantime, I want you to activate your hostage rescue teams across this continent. Get them ready to go but they must wait for a direct order from me before I will sanction any attempt at rescue.”

“Yes, Principal,” N’Var nodded and moved aside to contact his teams.

_Chirp chirp_

Tekai said, “Come in.”

A security guard came in carrying a chip and a small box, “Principal, these arrived by hypertube and are addressed to you and Commander Chakotay.” He passed the box and chip to Tekai.

“Thank you, dismissed.” Tekai picked up the chip, inserted it into the computer, and waited for the message to start.

_“The Nardan Freedom Alliance does not believe the Kuritan government is taking our grievances…”_

Ignoring the masked men, Tekai focussed on Tse-dira and was relieved she appeared unharmed but when the man pushed her to the ground and waved the tool around, her heart stopped. She cried out as the man calmly cut her fingertip off. After hearing Tse-dira’s blood-curdling screams and seeing the blood gush from the stump, Tekai fought the nausea brought on by watching the sickening spectacle. In the end, all she could do was to sob over and over again, “Dia, I’m sorry.”

Chakotay also tuned out what the man was saying and kept his eyes on Kathryn. Her eye was almost swollen shut and the bruise around her eye had become darker but otherwise she looked her normal defiant self. Without warning, the men pushed them to the floor and he winced when her head hit the floor. The other man was talking and waving a tool around as he knelt next to Peido. Shocked, he couldn’t believe what he just saw. They’d cut her finger off. The screams of the young woman shook him to the bone. Chakotay quickly turned back to see what was happening to Kathryn. The man kneeling over Kathryn whispered something in her ear as he grabbed the ropes around her neck to stop her struggles. He seemed to enjoy making Kathryn sweat by deliberately doing the task slowly. Her screams tore at his soul. ‘Spirits!’ he pleaded to himself, ‘Give Kathryn, and me the strength to get through this.’ A single tear escaped down his cheek and soon became a stream. Chakotay watched as the man pulled her to her knees. Blood poured down her chin from where he presumed she’d bitten her lip. He shoved a padd in front of her. Reluctantly she read the statement, and then that particular ordeal was over. He closed his eyes and said prayer for her safe return, “Spirits, please guide my love back to me.”

As soon as N’var heard the scream, he’d rushed over to Tekai’s side. He saw the masked men sever the fingertips of the Tse-dira and then the captain. He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and whispered words of comfort. Shaking his head in disgust at the barbarity of this demonstration, he vowed to hunt them down if it was the last thing he did.

Seven had walked around to see what was happening after the first scream. The blood and screams hadn’t bothered her but the distress it caused to the captain and to the people watching it did. When the ordeal had finished, the Principal was crying with her head in her hands while a clearly angry N’var tried to offer her solace. Chakotay’s legs were wobbling so she pulled over a chair and gently made him sit down. The captain’s suffering and condition was a concern for Seven but the captain was a strong willed individual and Seven knew she would recover. The commander’s tears had worried her because her research into male social behaviour indicated human males very rarely cried unless someone very close to them had been hurt. Seven’s Borg enhanced hearing had detected Chakotay’s prayer to his love which she deduced to be the captain that he was crying over. Unsure of the correct way to show emotional support, Seven quickly looked at the N’var to see what he was doing. She copied him by resting her hand on his shoulder.

Chakotay eventually stopped crying and was staring into space. Seven picked up the small box that came with the chip and examined it visually before opening it. She was taken aback to see the two fingertips inside and waved N’var over. He had expected something like this so he wasn’t surprised.

Seven whispered in N’var’s ear, “Minister, our Doctor has the ability to reattach these if we place them in stasis as soon as possible.”

Looking at his stricken leader and friend, he knew the decision would be his because of what she’d just witnessed. N’var replied, “Do what you need you do. You might want to bring your doctor down here to make sure Chakotay is all right, and for Tuvok to take over here.”

“Thank you, Minister.” Seven touched her comm. badge and said quietly, “Seven to Tuvok.”

_“Tuvok here, Seven.”_

“Commander, a second, highly distressing communication from the abductors has been sent. I recommend you and the Doctor beam down immediately. Tell the Doctor to bring a small portable stasis chamber.”

_“We will beam down immediately, Tuvok out.”_ Tuvok ordered the Doctor to meet him in Transporter room two and left a clearly worried Bridge staff wondering what she’d meant by highly distressing.

N’var met the Doctor and Tuvok outside Tekai’s office and quickly filled them in on the horrific contents of the chip and the package. The Doctor confirmed one of the body parts was the captain’s, and that the other was belonged to a Kuritan female. He analysed the tissue stability parameters to see if there was still time to reattach the fingertips and there was so he placed them in the stasis chamber.

They went back into the office. Tekai had stopped crying but still had her head resting in her hands. She looked up when the doors opened.

Chakotay recovered some composure just as the doors opened and was surprised to see Seven and Tuvok stop a metre in front of the desk and the Doctor coming around the desk. Chakotay sighed deeply and said quietly, “I’m all right, Doctor.”

“Please, Commander, let me check,” the Doctor replied softly, flipping out his tricorder to examine the first officer and the Principal. After looking at the data, the Doctor said, “Unsurprisingly, your stress indicators are above normal but not dangerously so. How do you feel honestly, Commander?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. I’m just numb,” Chakotay rubbed his eyes. ‘Maybe being with Kathryn all these years had finally rubbed off on him,’ he thought then he said, “I could use a coffee.”

The Doctor asked the same question to Tekai.

“Doctor, I’m not sure I’ll be all right for a long time but right now I am in control. I don’t know if I can explain it but I need to work. I need to see this through.” Tekai replied knowing if she did nothing she would mull over what she had seen, hear Tse-Dira’s screams, and see her blood but she was determined to find the men who did this.

N’var bought over a tray of soothing tea and placed a cup in the hands of Chakotay and Tekai. “Commander, I don’t have coffee but this is Kuritan tea.”

“Thank you, Minister.” Chakotay sipped the herbal tea and then quietly asked Tuvok, “Anything to report?”

Tuvok replied, “Mr Kim has not detected the captain’s location yet. Our hostage rescue teams have been coordinating with the Kuritan teams and are ready to beam down immediately. If you have recovered then Seven, the Doctor and I will return to Voyager.”

“Fine, Tuvok.” Chakotay finished the tea as his shipmates left the room to beam back to the ship.

Tekai swallowed the rest of her tea and forced her mind into action. She said angrily, “N’var, I want N’tim and S’hyn arrested as soon as we find their location. Anything from surveillance?”

“The security teams are waiting, Principal, and there’s been nothing so far from the surveillance teams. They appear to be going about their normal routine at work or they are at their residence.”

Chakotay envied how easily Tekai slipped back into her Principal’s persona. She was so much like Kathryn, he thought and it was why they’d become friends so quickly. Their responsibilities were similar and both took them very seriously. He on the other hand felt helpless especially when he had nothing to do except wait for the scan to complete. He’d kill for the stack of padds that awaited him when he got back to Voyager just for something to do.

“We wait then,” Tekai said watching N’var leave the office to coordinate their efforts.

* * *

Tuvok went to back to the Bridge while the Doctor and Seven walked to Sickbay. Seven carried the stasis chamber for the medico. When they entered the Sickbay, Seven carefully put the fingertips in the permanent stasis chamber attached to the lab while the Doctor put away his tricorder and medkit.

The Doctor called Seven over to his office, “Seven, please come in.”

“Yes, doctor.” Seven stood in front of his desk.

“I need to know the captain’s condition,” the Doctor said. In some ways he was glad it was Seven who saw what happened to the captain. It would be very distressing to ask Commander Chakotay. He thought there was something to be said for her emotional detachment derived from the Borg.

“You are aware of her finger. From what I could determine, the captain’s other injuries appear to be minor, a cut lip and bruising around her eye and cheek.”

“Thank you, Seven.”

Seven paused deliberating the motives of the kidnappers but could not find a logical one. “Doctor, was the purpose of recording what they did to cause distress to the Commander and the Principal?”

The Doctor replied, “Yes, Seven. The Kidnappers are trying to force the Principal and Chakotay to do what they want and by inflicting pain on another person, it indicates they are serious in their threats. Especially for the Principal when you consider her beloved is the person being hurt and it was her decision not to negotiate.”

Seven thought over what the Doctor had said and added, “That argument would be valid for Commander Chakotay as well.”

“You’re probably right.” The Doctor knew the lower decks were rife with rumours on a possible relationship practically since they arrived in the Delta Quadrant. Finding Chakotay’s DNA in her hair added another tantalizing piece to that puzzle.

After hearing Chakotay’s prayer to his Spirit regarding keeping the captain safe and seeing him cry, Seven asked innocently, “The commander cried a great deal while watching the chip. Your human male social behaviour lessons indicated they rarely cry. Does this indicate anything?”

“Not necessarily. Seeing someone you know very well being hurt intentionally should make you upset whether you are or aren’t in a relationship with that person.”

“I must admit, I was distressed to see the captain and Ms. Peido in such pain.”

“We’ll talk some more if you would like.” The Doctor was pleased Seven admitted to feeling distress at another’s plight. ‘We’re making progress’, he thought.

“I will. Now, I must return to the Bridge to assist Ensign Kim. Thank you, Doctor.” Seven left his office and Sickbay.

* * *

Rine N’tim packed his notes into his case and smiled at the other people leaving the planning meeting. It had gone well. The Treasury still had no idea what he was doing and his creative accountant would be finishing soon to make them even more unaware of his activities. He left the room and headed for the toilet. He sat in the stall still happy from how the day’s events were proceeding. The Principal was meant to be at the meeting but cancelled so his plan to distract her was working. His reverie was interrupted when the bathroom door opened.

“Have you heard the rumours?” a man said as he walked toward the urinals.

“Which ones?” the second man laughed.

“The one involving Galan S’hyn.”

Rine N’tim flinched at the mention of Galan’s name.

“He’s under surveillance and it maybe something to do with the abduction,” the second man finished, flushed, and went to wash his hands.

“I heard from my brother-in-law he leaked some information,” the first man said as he held the bathroom door open and the two men left N’tim sitting in the stall shaking.

N’tim recovered his composure and he knew he had to get rid of the evidence of his involvement. He removed the innocent looking pen from his pocket and pressed the button three times. This wonderful little device would mask any tracking device placed on him as well as his bio-signature. He left the bathroom and headed for the Metro.

* * *

Kathryn watched Tse-dira as she slowly began to wake up. Thoughts of Chakotay and some more Vulcan techniques had the reduced the pain in her hand, lip and head to a constant throb which was manageable. ‘What I wouldn’t do for a coffee about now?’ she thought and then laughed to herself thinking she could even tolerate the Doctor and Sickbay right about now as well.

Tse-dira groaned and began to roll over.

“Tse-dira, don’t move.” Kathryn said urgently.

“Ahh. …” Peido moaned but was awake enough to stop moving. “Oh, Goddesses. Kathryn, it hurts.” The sensation of fire in her hand was almost overwhelming. Tears welled up and her stomach lurched.

“Shhh, I know. You’ll be okay. It’s stopped bleeding,” reassured Kathryn.

Nausea threatened to overpower her. She swallowed to keep the rising bile down but was losing the battle to control herself. Her tears flowed freely down her cheeks.

When Kathryn heard the younger woman begin to cry, she said softly, “Tse-dira, please. Breathe slowly. In and out.”

She sobbed, “I don’t know if I can.”

“I know it hurts. My hand does too. But …”

Tse-dira interrupted, “Oh, no. Why did they hurt you? You …” She lost complete control, crying and mumbling incoherently.

Breathing in deeply, Kathryn tried not to let her distress overwhelm her, “Tse-dira, please. I’m fine. We’ll survive. You …”

Kathryn suddenly stopped when she heard the distinctive zap of energy weapon fire and then a scream from the hallway. She said softly, “That’s phaser fire. Tse-dira, calm down, I think it’s over.” Kathryn was relieved it was almost over. She strained to hear what was going on but couldn’t hear anything more so she waited.

Sniffling, Tse-dira asked, “Phasers?”

“Yes. Security teams will be clearing the rooms as they come to them. It shouldn’t take too long.”

“Okay, Kathryn,” she replied thankful because she didn’t know how much more she could take.

* * *

_Beep beep_

‘This is it,’ Harry thought as he checked his Operations’ sensor board to ensure the alarm that went off was for human life signs. He ran the sensor over the location again to confirm the findings. It was positive for human life signs. They’d found the captain. “Commander, sensors have located the captain,” Harry said trying to sound as cool, calm, and collected as possible but on the inside, he was jumping up and down.

Tom Paris had heard the beep at Harry’s station and turned his around to look at Harry. “Yes!” Paris said enthusiastically.

“Ensign, location?” Tuvok asked ignoring the emotional response from the helm.

Harry checked the coordinates. “Eighty kilometres north-east of the capital, sir. Grid reference: 853 452. A single story building that is shielded. Transporters won’t work.”

“Very good.” Tuvok tapped his comm. badge, “Tuvok to Chakotay.”

_“Chakotay here.”_

“Commander, the captain has been located eighty kilometres from the capital. I am transmitting the coordinates to the hostage rescue teams and to you.”

_“Good work,”_ Chakotay was relieved for a short time then grew concerned again because he knew they were coming to the most dangerous phase. Hostage rescue. He handed the tricorder with the data to N’var to analyse.

Minister N’var conferred with the strike teams on the ground before he reported to the Principal, “Principal, in ten minutes the rescue teams will be in position. I have approved their plan.”

Tekai looked at Chakotay for approval and he gave it with a nod, “Minister N’var, you have my permission.”

“Yes, Principal.” N’var went to his station to inform the rescue teams.

* * *

Lt. Rollins attached the scanner to the door of the power relay station and waited for the lock and alarm to be disabled. He gently pushed the door open and allowed his Kuritan partner to enter the building first before slipping inside. Phaser in one hand and tricorder in the other, he made his way to the main power bank for the property. They’d come prepared in case the abductors had tried to prevent them turning off the power by planting booby traps. Their mission was to disable the power to the shield generator of the building where the captain was being held. The Kuritan security guard isolated the relays for the building and typed in the codes that quickly shut down the power to the shield generator. The guard smiled and used the thumbs up sign he’d just learned from Rollins to inform him their task was complete.

Magnus Rollins tapped his comm. badge, “Lt Rollins to base.”

_“Base to Rollins, go ahead.”_

“Phase one is complete,” Rollins signed off, sat down, and would wait for the signal from the Kuritan commander that the mission was a success.

~~~

Breathing hard, a man burst into the room and saw Peido and Janeway, tied up like birds, looking the worse for wear facing the wall away from him. He grinned, thinking to himself at least Ulan and Tal had had some fun before he’d killed them.

Kathryn had heard the door burst open and a single pair of footsteps came closer stopping just behind her, and she said, “I’m Captain Janeway …”

N’tim knelt down and said in a low voice menacingly in her ear, “Shh…I know exactly who you are. Do you think we could have that private conversation now?” His hand traced along her chin and down her arm. He thought ruefully if only he had the time to get to know Kathryn more closely. He’d always been interested in woman in powerful positions.

Kathryn winced at the man’s touch and tried to roll away but he stopped her. She recognized the voice. It was Commerce Minister N’tim

Seeing her wince, he continued to roam his hand over her stomach and then stroked her breasts. He sniggered, “Hmm …”

Trying not to show N’tim she was scared, she said calmly, “Minister N’tim, I don’t know what you …”

His fantasy was shattered when the annoying woman spoke. He grabbed her injured finger, twisted it, and yelled, “Now shut up!”

Pain exploded like bolts of lightning and travelled up her hand and arm and she screamed in agony.

“I said shut up!” N’tim pushed her over on to her stomach and the rope choked her as the uncontrollable movement of her arms and legs pulled the rope around her neck. Gasping from the pain and choking, Janeway fought to open her eyes and regain some control over her breathing and movement. She could feel blood again drip down her cheek from her lip. Tears flooded her eyes making it hard to see.

Tse-dira heard the door open and the footsteps as well and was relaxing thinking they’d been rescued. This hadn’t lasted long when she heard Kathryn scream. Tse-dira pleaded, “Hey, what are you doing?”

Everything he’d worked for was falling apart and here in front of him were two women who were connected to his downfall but they just wouldn’t shut up. N’tim put a hand into his jacket, “Arrhh …” He pulled out his phaser and fired it at Peido. “Shut the fuck up!”

Kathryn saw the flash of the blaster hit Peido’s back and blinked as she bits of charred flesh, burnt material and blood sprayed her face. Kathryn cried, “Oh no! Tse-dira.” Peido’s lower back was now a blackened mess but Kathryn was somewhat relieved when she could see she was still breathing. He hadn’t killed her but she was unconscious.

~~~

Harry Kim confirmed the reading on his board the said, “Sir, the shield is down but I’m detecting only one weak life sign. It’s Kuritan.”

“Beam it directly to Sickbay.” Tuvok replied and then pressed the comm. button on the chair, “Tuvok to the Doctor.”

_“Yes, Commander.”_

“Doctor, a Kuritan individual with weak life signs is about to be beamed to Sickbay. Place a force field around the individual until their identity can be confirmed.”

_“Aye, Commander,”_ the Doctor answered as the transported individual rematerialized on the floor. Initially shocked by the blackened mess that was the woman’s back, he quickly refocused himself and began to assess her injuries.

~~~

The overpowering smell of roast pork which was burnt humanoid flesh filled the room. Breathing through her mouth to try to avoid smelling the awful scent was her only option. Kathryn had closed her eyes trying to settle the nausea in her stomach when a new familiar sound appeared. It was a transporter beam and she reopened her eyes just in time to see Tse-dira be whisked away to safety. ‘Yes!’ she thought.

N’tim was looking at his blaster when the unfamiliar tingling sound of Voyager’s transporter appeared. He looked up quickly enough to see Peido disappear. Shocked, he looked at the space where the Mistress had been. N’tim had no idea what he was going to go now. He needed time to think but he couldn’t. Shock was replaced by anger, as he knew everything was falling apart. It was only a matter of time before they would find him. He stood up and paced around the room. After hearing the captain groan, he lost control and lashed out at the object of his downfall which was right in front of him. He began to kick her, muttering repeatedly, “Bitch!”

Kathryn couldn’t protect herself from his vicious kicks. Kick after kick landed on her body. All she could do was hope Voyager found her in time before she was too badly hurt. She tried to hang on but her breathing became difficult after she felt several of her ribs break. She was losing the fight to stay conscious.

~~~

“Tuvok to the Doctor, Report,” said Tuvok.

The Doctor had placed Peido on a biobed and was analysing her injuries and replied, _“The woman is confirmed as Tse-dira Peido. She has a blaster injury to her lower back and her condition is serious but not life threatening. I need Mr. Paris to assist me in surgery immediately.”_

Tuvok nodded to Tom who was already half way out of his seat then said, “Mr. Paris is on his way. Tuvok out.” He turned to Harry, “Are you registering anything else in the building, Ensign?”

“Sensors have picked up two dead Kuritans in the building but no other life signs, sir.”

“Thank you, Ensign.” Tuvok tapped his comm. badge, “Tuvok to Chakotay.”

Chakotay was aware that the shield had been disabled so Voyager should’ve been able to beam up the Kathryn and Tse-dira. Hoping for good news, he replied, _“Yes, Tuvok.”_

_“Commander, sensors have detected only one weak Kuritan life sign. Ms. Peido has been beamed aboard and is currently in surgery. There are two deceased Kuritans in the building. There has been no sign of the captain.”_

Chakotay swallowed hard and he sat back down, wondering where Kathryn could be.

The relief was plain to see on Tekai’s face as she slowly let out the breath she was holding. The Principal was back and answered, “Tekai here, Mr. Tuvok. I’ll have the security teams search the building.” She nodded to N’var to have him begin the search.

Chakotay said, “Beam the Principal and I to Sickbay”

_“Yes, sir.”_

~~~

Mike Ayala sent the signal to beam the two Kuritan security officers, S’cal and N’gol and himself into the building to begin the search. They materialized in a back room with their phasers drawn. Ayala shook his head as he finished examining his tricorder. He shook it again indicating there was no sign of the captain in this room. S’cal took the point and they left, going out into the hallway.

S’cal went a few paces before he found the first body and he turned it over. It was Ulan S’ter. He’d been shot with a blaster in the chest and in the head at close range. S’cal shook his head and moved further down the aisle to the other body, a male Kuritan with similar wounds. The team checked each room thoroughly for evidence of the captain. They had no positive proof until the entered the bathroom where scans indicated her DNA. Mike signalled Voyager their findings before continuing on to the two remaining rooms. There was nothing in the first room. Mike was worried. The scan had showed she was here but they hadn’t found her yet. The two dead bodies were a puzzle as well. He wondered who had killed them. If the captain had killed them then why wasn’t she around? Something wasn’t right he realized. He signalled the others to stop. He was going to run another more thorough scan before finishing the search. He adjusted the scanner on the tricorder and waited for it to complete.

~~~

Chakotay and the Principal materialized to an empty main Sickbay area. Thinking they were probably still in surgery, he directed Tekai into the Doctor’s office to sit and wait.

“Can I get you something, Bra-zei?” Chakotay asked. He had wanted to go to the building and search for Kathryn himself. Mike was doing the search and he should be finished soon. His patience was being severely tested on this day.

“No, thank you,” Tekai replied. She saw the concerned look on his face. She said reassuringly, “The search will be over soon. They’ll find Kathryn.”

Sam Wildman carried the bloodied and blackened remains of Peido’s cream dress and the rope in a stasis chamber and placed the chamber in a storage locker. After seeing the Principal and Chakotay waiting in the office, she walked over to give them a quick update.

“Principal, Commander,” she acknowledged them then turned to Tekai with a small smile, “Principal, Ms Peido will be out of surgery shortly. The Doctor will be out soon to give you a full report.”

“Thank you, Sam,” Chakotay replied looking at the relief wash over Tekai. The small smile on Sam’s face meant Peido was going to be all right.

~~~

Mike’s tricorder beeped and he looked at the display. A localized but strange energy reading was coming from the last room. He could read some parts of the room but not others. It looked like a dampening field but not like any he’d seen before. He pressed his comm. badge and said, “Ayala to Tuvok.”

_“Yes, Lieutenant.”_

“I’m sending you an energy reading coming from a room in the building. It might be a dampening field.”

Tuvok turned to Seven who nodded indicating she was receiving the data, _“Stand by.”_

Seven quickly assessed the readings and tapped her badge, _“Lieutenant, it is a sophisticated dispersal field for sensors and transporters but it is not a force field. I am unable to penetrate the field at this time. The field is located in the middle of the room.”_

“Mr Tuvok, the captain has to be in the room. Do I have permission to enter the room?”

Tuvok knew there were no other options available at this time and said, _“Proceed, Lieutenant.”_

“Stand by,” Ayala said then went over his plan to his team members. They moved to the side of the door while Mike held his phaser and readied himself to burst through as soon as they opened the door. On the count of the three, N’gol opened the door then Mike and S’cal burst into the room. The sight of a man standing over and kicking a defenceless person in red and black which had to be the captain shocked him. Immediately, both S’cal and Mike fired at the man and he dropped to the floor unconscious on top of the person. S’cal and N’gol quickly dragged the man off the person and into the hallway out of the way.

Mike dropped to his knees in front of the woman. He loosened the rope around her neck and gently rolled her on to her side. Her face was battered and bruised making a visual confirmation of her identity difficult but he was sure it was Captain Janeway.

Ayala said softly, “Captain?”

Moaning and gasping for air, Kathryn vaguely recognized the person in front of her. Each breath was white-hot agony from her recently broken ribs she’d received. She tried to focus on the face but she just couldn’t make her eyes work. She said croakily, “Tell … Chakotay … I …love…him.” She managed another groan before she fell unconscious.

Ayala watched her eyes roll in the back of her head as she lost consciousness. He tapped his badge, “Ayala to Voyager. Medical emergency. Beam the captain direct to sickbay.”

After a small wait, Harry replied, _“Voyager, we have a lock. Beaming now.”_

Mike breathed a sigh of relief as he watched Janeway disappear. He went to check their prisoner and report to Mr. Tuvok and Minister N’var.

~~~

The Doctor analysed the biobed’s instruments and was pleased with his patient’s progress. “Mr Paris, continue to monitor Ms. Peido while I inform the Principal.” He left Tom to monitor the readings and walked to his office.

Tekai was studying the cuticle on her left index finger. Her thoughts and emotions were all in a jumble now. Images of Tse-dira smiling and laughing during their life together were merging with the images of her screaming in agony. She was so angry and distraught at the same time. Knowing she had to calm down, she tried to concentrate on slowly breathing in and out. Looking up, she watched the Doctor walk into the office.

“Principal, Commander,” the Doctor interrupted politely.

Tekai answered nervously, “Yes, Doctor.”

“Ms Peido came through surgery well. I expect her to make a full recovery,” said the Doctor.

The relief was obvious on both faces. Chakotay smiled at the Principal and gently squeezed her hand.

Tekai looked stunned but she just had to ask, “The report said a serious blaster injury and then her hand…”

“She had been shot at close range in the lower back with a blaster. However, her timely transport and my surgical skill saved the day. I have also reattached the missing fingertip. The only other injury to note was rope burns around her wrists, feet, and neck. All these have been treated.”

“Thank you, Doctor.” Tekai said sincerely. “When can I see her?”

“She is …”

Tuvok’s controlled voice interrupted, _“Tuvok to the Doctor. Medical Emergency. The captain is about to be transported.”_

The Doctor tapped his comm. badge, “Acknowledged, Commander.” He turned to the Commander and the Principal, “Excuse me.” He left his office and said, “Mr Paris, get the emergency kit. The captain is about to be beamed up. Sam, stay with Ms. Peido.”

“Yes, Doctor,” they both answered.

The Doctor had his tricorder and probe ready. The sound of the transporter whined and Kathryn materialized on the floor.

Tom was completely unprepared for the image of his captain lying unconscious, battered, bloodied, bruised, and tied up in front of him. “Sweet Jesus!” Tom muttered but quickly recovered and knelt down next to the Doctor.

The Doctor waved his tricorder around and analysed the results. “Mr Paris, use the laser scalpel to remove the rope then we can get her on a bed,” he said handing the instrument to Tom.

Tom moved around, quickly cut through all the ropes, and removed them. Shaking, as he cut through the rope around her bloodied hands and he said a silent prayer that she was unconscious because the pain would be unbelievable.

“All right, let’s get her onto the bed,” said the Doctor putting the tricorder on the trolley. They lifted her onto the nearest bed. The Doctor started to analyse the more detailed readings from the biobed while Tom hovered waiting. After administering a blood stabilizer, the doctor said, “Punctured lung, internal bleeding, broken ribs, severe bruising … Get the surgical tray, Tom.”

Tom nodded and went to get the trolley.

When Tom returned with the trolley, the Doctor said, “She’s stable for now. Remove her uniform while I speak to the Commander.” The Doctor walked back to his office as Tom cut away her uniform.

Chakotay had stood up as soon as Tuvok said Kathryn was beaming up. Barely breathing, he watched as she appeared on the floor and the Doctor began to treat her. He stared at her face all covered in blood and bruised then watched as Tom carefully removed the ropes that bound her. He hadn’t noticed that Bra-zei had come to his side and softly placed her hand on his shoulder.

The Doctor said, “Commander, the captain has internal injuries but I expect she will recover after surgery. Ms Peido will be asleep for several hours and I predict the captain will be as well. Get some rest and some food or both. I will call you if anything changes, Commander.”

Chakotay nodded and sat down while the Doctor returned to treat the captain.

The Sickbay doors opened and Tuvok, N’var and Ayala entered. They glanced toward the biobed as the Doctor began to treat the captain before going to the office.

“Rol, what have you found?” asked Tekai.

“Principal, it appears the man who hired Ulan S’ter and his accomplice, Tal S’bar, killed them both,” N’var paused looking uncomfortable, “It was Rine N’tim.”

“What! I thought you had him under surveillance.” Tekai jumped up nearly knocking the chair she’d been sitting on onto the floor. Chakotay stood up as well, shocked and angry.

“He had an instrument that masked his life signs. Security had him located in his residence.”

Tuvok added, “Commander, the instrument is a sophisticated life sign dampener which has the same energy signature of the Sharonk.”

“The Sharonk…” Chakotay remembered the aggressive race that they’d fought constantly for two months before coming into Kuritan territory. They’d taken an instant dislike to Kathryn and by default Voyager. Only through Kathryn’s skill as a Captain and some creative repairs from B’Elanna were they able to survive.

“N’tim has confessed to selling our technology to them for profit, Commander.” N’var added.

Chakotay rubbed his hands through his hair, aggravated at very mention of his name. Pointing to the biobeds where the two women lay, he seethed, “You mean to tell me all their pain was for credits!” He had wanted to swear, to rant and rave and even to punch something but all he had the energy for was to clench his teeth and fists.

N’var and Tuvok sensibly refrained from answering his rhetorical question.

Tekai couldn’t believe one of their own citizens was selling technology to their bitter rival. Remembering what the Doctor said about how long Tse-dira would be asleep, Tekai decided to go back to Kurita and begin the process of sorting through the mess. “Chakotay, I’m going to the Residence to finish the investigation. Rol, give me a minute with Tse-dira and then we’ll beam down.”

“Yes, Principal,” N’var answered.

“Mr Tuvok, please escort our guests to the Transporter room,” Chakotay ordered.

“Aye, Commander.”

Tekai walked over to the biobed where Tse-dira was lying asleep. Looking down at her beloved, she smiled at how beautiful she was when she slept. Gently stroking her cheek, she whispered in her ear, “Dia, I love you. I’ll be back soon.” Brushing aside a stray lock of hair, she softly kissed her forehead and then left Sickbay.

Mike Ayala had been watching his old friend and he’d never seen him so angry. He could see the tension on his face by how his jaw clenched. Mike decided a change of scenery was needed as well so he explained to Tom where they’d be for the next hour if they wanted them. Mike ushered Chakotay out of Sickbay into toward the turbolift. Silently, they made their way to the Holodeck where Mike put on one of his friend’s boxing programs. Chakotay hadn’t protested when he took him here but as soon as Mike stood behind the punching bag, instinct took over and Chakotay began to punch the bag. Light jabs at first and not saying anything then gradually he began muttering to himself and punching harder. Finally, he was punching hard crosses, body shots and old style round houses. It took all Mike’s strength not to be knocked over by the force of his blows. At first, Mike couldn’t make out what Chakotay was saying but as his punches became harder, his words became louder. It was mainly cursing N’tim, his parentage and the Universe in general before he began to mutter again. This time Mike could make out the occasional ‘Kathryn’.

Panting hard now, Chakotay let fly with one final combination that forced Mike backwards and he screamed in frustration, “Arggh …” He dropped to the ground covered in sweat and gasping for air. This was exactly what he needed. A release of all the anger this day had piled on him. On a higher level, he thought working out his frustration that way was pretty caveman-like. He smiled at the thought that Kathryn would’ve been the first to say so as well.

Mike grabbed a towel and a drink bottle for him and watched as his friend finished drinking the water.

After towelling himself down, Chakotay said, “Thanks, Mike.”

“No problem, Chakotay,” he grinned, “I wouldn’t want you terrorizing the junior staff.”

Chakotay flexed his hands. They were going to be sore in a few hours, but that was nothing to the pain Kathryn had endured, he thought. He wasn’t angry anymore with N’tim. He would rot in the Kuritan version of Hell or a prison. He didn’t care. All he wanted was to do was to hold Kathryn. Just hold her, tell her everything was going to be all right and that he loved her. No made up legends this time. Just a simple ‘I love you’. Images of Kathryn screaming and her blood flowing filled his mind and tears escaped down his cheeks. Holding his head in his hands, he mumbled to himself, “Oh, Kathryn.”

Mike sat down beside his old friend and consoled him. Mike had debated whether he should tell him what the captain had said to him but after hearing the way he said the captain’s name, he knew it would be the right thing to do. ‘Especially after what the captain went through, she deserves to be loved,’ Mike thought and so he said, “Chakotay, just before the captain was beamed up she had a message for you.”

Chakotay wiped his eyes and replied, “A message?”

“She said she loves you.”

Surprised, he couldn’t believe what he heard so he asked, “Sorry, what did you say?”

Mike knew he’d heard him but Chakotay wanted to be sure he’d heard right. Mike repeated, “The captain said, ‘Tell Chakotay, I love him’. I heard it perfectly.”

Chakotay was going to question him again but when Mike smiled at him he knew it was true. Relieved, Chakotay said, “You know I’ve loved her for so long but we’ve come together only in the last couple of days.” The weight of the Universe seemed to disappear from his shoulders and his very being soared. ‘She loves me’ was a mantra he joyfully kept repeating in his mind. At least that’s something out of this shit of a day he could remember as worthwhile, Chakotay pondered.

Mike patted him on the shoulder, stood up and pulled him to his feet, “I know,” he grinned. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up and fed then you can be there when she wakes up.”

* * *

Chakotay felt refreshed and renewed as he entered the Sickbay.

The Doctor turned to see him come in and said, “Commander, you just saved me a call. The captain is waking up.”

“How is she?” asked Chakotay.

“She’ll make a full recovery but she may have a headache. I’ll be able to release her to her quarters in three or four hours time.”

“Ms. Peido?”

“She should wake up soon. I will contact the Principle when she starts showing signs of waking up.”

“Thank you, Doctor.” Chakotay walked slowly over to Kathryn’s biobed. Sam had cleaned up all the blood leaving the barest remnants of the bruise around her cheek and her left hand was restrained in a medical force field otherwise nobody would’ve known she’d just gone through hell. She looked peaceful, beautiful even as she slept. He moved a wayward strand of hair from her face and after a quick squeeze of her hand he sat down. He’d wanted to kiss her forehead and hold her hand but he restrained himself. He hadn’t wanted to jeopardize what they had by doing something stupid like a public display.

She blinked several times and rolled her head back and forth, as she as slowly woke up. She groaned, “Ohh … Chakotay …my head.”

Chakotay said softly, “Ssshh …Kathryn, I’m here. You’ll be okay.”

Kathryn’s vision cleared and she could see Chakotay’s concerned face. She asked, “How’s Tse-dira?”

It was typical of Kathryn to think of others before herself, Chakotay smiled as he replied, “She’ll be fine. Kathryn, …” Chakotay wanted to say so much more but was interrupted by the Doctor.

“Ah, Captain. You’re awake. How do you feel?”

Kathryn sighed, “I’m fine except for a headache the size of a nebula, and I can’t move my hand.”

Shaking his head knowing she must have pain in more than just her head, the Doctor injected some pain relief and replied, “That’s for the headache and wherever else I know you must be feeling pain. Your hand is in a force field to allow the fingertip to properly knit.”

Kathryn looked directly at Chakotay, and said, “When can I go home, Doctor?”

“In around three hour’s time. As I have said, your fingertip needs time to knit and your body needs to recover from the extensive internal injuries you received.”

“Thank you, Doctor.” Kathryn yawned as the Doctor went to check on Peido then she turned back to Chakotay, “You might as well get started writing the report on all of this. I’ll fill in the missing bits afterwards”

“Why, thank you, Captain,” Chakotay smirked.

She smiled back knowing neither of them enjoyed the writing of reports. Finding his hand and gently squeezing it, she whispered, “I’m going to sleep now. Can we talk when I get out of here?”

Chakotay tenderly ran his fingers over her hand. “Yes, of course. Sleep well, Captain,” he smiled and left Sickbay.

* * *

Kathryn wiggled her fingers and made a fist with her left hand. Satisfied, she said, “Thank you again, Doctor. Good as new.”

“Ms. Peido and you need to be careful for the next three days,” replied the Doctor.

Tse-dira Peido looked down at her hand and marvelled at how well it seemed to have healed. “My sincere thanks as well, Doctor. For everything.”

Principal Tekai said, “I’d like to thank you personally and from the Kuritan people.”

“I’m glad to be of service, Principal.”

Kathryn said, “I will order a transport to the Residence for you and Tse-dira.”

“Thank you, Captain. We shall speak tomorrow.”

“I would like that.” She then tapped her comm. badge, “Janeway to Transporter room two. Lock onto our two guests and beam them down to the Residence.”

“Yes, Captain,” replied Lt Rollins, “Energising.”

Kathryn watched as the two women dematerialised then turned her attention to her escort who had a strange glint in his eyes. Leaving Sickbay, she said with a small amount of annoyance, “Why do I need an escort, Mr. Ayala?”

Mike Ayala replied steadfastly, “Captain, Commanders Chakotay and Tuvok ordered me to escort you to your quarters. I was to inform them if you decided to go anywhere else.”

“Did they now? Well, I’ll have to speak to them about that,” said Kathryn trying to sound serious as they stepped into the turbolift. She hadn’t the energy to go anywhere else but her quarters. She looked at Mike and wondered why he had a strange look in his eyes before realising why. Kathryn asked, “Mike, were you the one in the building?”

“Yes, Captain,” Mike tried to answer smartly but the glint was still there. They exited the lift and walked toward her quarters.

“You told him what I said.”

“Yes, Captain.”

“How did he react?”

“I would say he was very pleased, Captain,” he smiled as they reached her door, “It’s good to see you’ll be all right. If you’ll excuse me.”

“Mike, thank you for helping Chakotay and for telling him.”

“Anytime, Captain,” Mike nodded and walked toward the turbolift.

Kathryn walked into her quarters and went straight to the couch. Kicking off her boots and unzipping her uniform jacket, she sat down putting her feet up on the table, exhausted. Rubbing her hands over her face, she thought ‘I’m getting too old for this’. Her body was stiff and sore but she hadn’t the energy to have a bath. Resting her head against the back of the couch, she closed her eyes and went over the events of the day. It started wonderfully waking up in Chakotay’s arms in his bed. The warmth and safety she felt in his arms was almost overwhelming. Then she finally told Tse-dira about how much she looked like Phoebe and that weight seemed to lift from her shoulders. She would rather forget as quickly as possible what had happened after that but she couldn’t. Her mind was a jumble of images and sounds of what happened to her and Peido. She sucked in a deep breath when she remembered the Tse-dira’s screams and the pain of her finger. ‘Oh, God!’ she thought. Everything was crushing her, she had to get up and move around. She ran her hand over her chin as she paced up and down her living room. She hadn’t heard the door chime.

Chakotay had finished the report and was using it as an excuse to see Kathryn. He pressed the door button and waited. Nothing happened and so he pressed it again. He began to worry because he’d checked via the computer her location and whether she was awake or asleep. Using his override code he entered her quarters warily. She seemed oblivious to his presence as she paced up and down. “Kathryn?” he said softly as he walked slowly toward her. Chakotay watched for a second as Kathryn paced the room like a trapped animal. She looked frantic and on the verge of tears.

At last, she seemed to see him and stopped in her tracks. Chakotay could see how distraught she was as she bit her lip and fought to control her emotions.

“Chakotay … please …hold …me,” she sobbed and a single tear escaped, “I thought …I … was … die…without …telling …”

Chakotay wrapped his arms around her and whispered, “I know, Kathryn…” He held her tight fighting to control his own emotions. He felt his eyes fill with tears. He wanted it to all go away but they both needed for this to happen so all he could do was hold her.

“What they … did to … us… the pain…” she mumbled, hugging him fiercely, clawing at his uniform jacket holding onto him for dear life. The dam broke and the tears streamed down her face and she clung to him like a limpet. It all came flooding out, “I saw what they … to Tse-dira. I knew what was … happen. I tried not to scream…but I …didn’t want upset you. I knew … see…”

“Oh Kathryn, Spirits!” Stroking her back, Chakotay comforted her, “Let it out, Kathryn…” He held her tightly, rocking her back and forth gently while she cried, “It’s going to be all right …”

Slowly, the crying and her grip on him lessened. She’d cried herself out. Pulling back a little, she wiped her face and sniffed.

“You’re safe now…We’ll get through this together,” he hoped. He used his thumb to gently wipe her tears awayl. Exhausted, she fell back into his willing arms again. Seeing how tired she was, he gathered her up in his arms and carried her to her bedroom. Kathryn sniffled but didn’t protest while Chakotay carefully removed her uniform jacket and turtleneck then sat her down on her bed. She sat still while he removed her socks and pants. Pulling back the covers, he laid Kathryn down, replaced the blankets, and then got up to leave.

“Please stay …” Her voice was ragged, almost fearful. She pleaded, “I want you here with me … don’t want to be alone …”

Chakotay said softly, “Kathryn, I’ll stay for as long as you want me …” He couldn’t stand to see her cry again. Quickly, he kicked off his boots, shed his clothes, and climbed into the other side of the bed. Immediately, Kathryn shuffled across and nestled into his shoulder and his arms gently surrounded her. Leisurely caressing her hair, Chakotay could feel her breathing slow and thinking she’d fallen asleep he kissed her head and softly said, “I love you, my Kathryn.”

“As I love you,” she smiled and kissed his cheek then settled back down.

“I know. We’ll talk in the morning. Please go to sleep,” he said. They went to sleep safe in each other’s arms.

* * *

_Five days later_ :

“We must be going. It’s late and we leave early tomorrow,” Kathryn apologised. “Thank you for the lovely dinner, Bra-zei.” Kathryn looked at the empty plates and wine glasses on the table. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so full. She smiled to herself and was glad that Chakotay’s offered his hand to help her up from the sofa because it was doubtful she could get up under her own power.

“It has been a wonderful evening,” Bra-zei said standing up next to Tse-dira and wrapping an arm around her waist.

“I don’t like farewells so I’ll just thank you for helping Voyager and us personally,” Kathryn said then hugged Bra-zei then Tse-Dira.

Chakotay embraced the two women as well. “Kurita will always hold a special place in my …” he looked at Kathryn who smiled warmly, “No … our hearts. Thank you.”

“Remember us as we will remember you,” Bra-zei smiled even though she felt sad to see them go.

Kathryn nodded then pressed her comm. badge, “Janeway to Voyager, two to beam up.”

_“Acknowledged, Captain. Stand by,”_ Tuvok’s disembodied voice said. A moment later, they both dematerialised.

The next moment they rematerialized in the Transporter room. Kathryn said happily to the operator on duty, “Ensign Davids, thank you. Good evening.”

“Good night, Captain,” Davids replied cheerfully.

“Come on, Captain. Let me walk you home,” Chakotay offered his arm and Kathryn gladly rested her arm on it. Silently, they travelled the corridors of Voyager until they came to her door. Kathryn keyed in her code with one hand while she intertwined her fingers in his and they walked in hand in hand. When the door closed, Kathryn led him directly to their bedroom.

Kathryn led him to the side of the bed and she cupped his face, gently pulling him down to kiss him tenderly.

“Thank you, Chakotay,” Resting her forehead on his, Kathryn said softly, “For everything … helping me…just being here.”

He replied, “I love you, Kathryn.” Chakotay’s hands slid around her waist and drew her into a warm embrace.

“I know.” Kathryn replied and smiled at how wonderful she felt when he said those words. It felt just as breathtaking to be in his arms snuggling against him. She said softly, “Hmm… Chakotay?”

Chakotay enjoyed the feeling of Kathryn cuddling him. Caressing her hair, he replied, “Yes, Kathryn.”

“This arrangement of ours … would you like it to be permanent?” Kathryn grinned and waited for his response. A nanosecond later, Chakotay held her tightly in a bear hug, spun her around, happily smiling then began to kiss her senseless.


End file.
